The Resonance of Particles Unknown

Nothing to everything, a concept born of flaws
That will always deviate from understanding.
Shatter the glass panes and dare to dream
When the answer-less questions stack up.

Somewhere between the particles in you
And those in me is a single one that vibrates
To a frequency we’ll never know. And so few
Are these seconds before this life dissipates.

Do they know how hard they make it? Passing
Through thresholds of charge. What is missing?

Energy transcends matter. The forms we take
May differ yet if you listen there’s a resonance
Like a familiar melody. Under moonlight dance
Because we know everything else is just fake.

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What’s real? The connection.

The Tears Shed In Night’s Embrace

On the darkest of nights after the brightest of days
I’ll be right by your side until we can see sunlight rays.

The mark of dark I caught from temperate
Seasons festers inside. We eat the fruit
Forbidden. Outcasts t’ fall desolate
And devoid. Cast our hearts from hate and soot.

I touch a cheek so soft and yet tears drop.
Why hurt all night when light awaits ardent-
Ly? Stuck behind a wall, translate: full stop.
A fight we face together. Don’t resent.

Can I just be the wind beneath your wings?
I’ll take you higher to where the choir sings.

sa;bdry
The open group MAJI is the light of humanity. We care for everyone because we believe in the potential of kindness, goodwill, and love.

Somewhere Within

There is a place of soundless reprieve.
It’s far away from where boring lives
Turn our hearts to gray. I search for it,
A place that never is but forever will be.

Seeking a glimmer, a fracture of light
Amid the darkened skies. Something bright.

They say I’m an idealist and a dreamer
In such disdain. It leaves a little stain
On my heart that never fades away.

The ink settles in and dries but, what remains?
A canvas no longer blank. An image retains.

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Evanescent Sunrise

The Lonely Bridge

I walked to that edge of the bridge
Always knowing that this is a dream,
Maybe a nightmare, or a day terror.
The day came I realized I was an error
In a system’s code. Over the stream,
Now a river, I can see the next ridge.

In my hands rests the strength to carry
My doubts and yours, but the water’s so nice.
When I return here every couple days
I feel even emptier than the last time.

If the river dries up someday I could walk away
And return to where you are. There I’ll stay.

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Lovers on a Bridge

The Defiled Heart

The darkness inside lashes at my memories
In an attempt to steal who I am. It’s the mark
Burned into my flesh awaking my inner demons.

My wrath, lust, and pride slithering under my skin;
A burn that never goes away. Will they ever win?
I swallow my unsettled doubts, like pills with gin.

We don’t choose the fights we’re tossed into. Survive,
That’s what our hearts scream. Is that why I still strive?

Dark and cold black flames judge my heart to a feather.
I failed. Know that I’m not giving in. There’s a day that
I gotta see with these eyes and feel with these hands.
My wretched fate repeats day by day yet, I smile.

They call me Ariex Nightblade. I watched wars,
Witnessed genocide, killed a friend; I left
The Royal Protectorate to heal these scars.
This curse I took on instead of being ever so bereft.

My brother Synji bears the other mark.
The endarkened; the illuminated.
We serve two roles in a grand tragedy.

I need to survive. . .reject fate ordained.

sa;bdry

Our Redemption

The Sins We Carry Together

When did all the little lies we once said manifest
Into hate and disconnect? The lives we risk in an
Attempt to conceal our sins. Will they ever return?
I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself.
In my hand I hold a sword but, I know I’m a killer.

Dark clouds stretch from horizon to horizon
As if on this day Gehenna comes for us all.

The generals lead us into tactical formation.
Others look at mementos thinking about others
And their promise to return. But this is devastation,
The last station between life and death flowers.

Flowers will grow from the corpses both sides leave.
The pollen will reach loved ones. They’ll cry and heave.
I’m not here for honor and justice. Wars must be fought;
The sins of the few are the sins of humanity. I sought. . .

Peace that never came. If war is the price we pay
Take me instead of these people with lives
To return to.

Step to the drawn line,
The flowers will blossom soon;
We face the storm now.

Gehenna Rising

The sound of catapults firing, louder than thunder,
Echoes across the battlefield. Formation scatters,
Calvary clashes between the carnage, and the blood
Flows from mangled bodies into the fray.

Kindness absent in both our and their eyes.
Instead a flame burns, threatening what’s left
Of our humanity. How the truth is swept
Away even as we bleed under these skies.

Does anyone understand the consequences?
Thieves steal and live, heroes fight and die.
We aren’t characters in a story. We won’t surrender
To those that push good people to kill. Soldiers stand
Together staring into the abyss selfishness makes.

The coins we cast into wells never answered;
Tears into blood and mud. We are the tortured.

We raised Gehenna in search of redemption. . .

The Demon Within

In a flash of lightning and fire the cavalry
Enter the abyss. Both armies charge.
We all understand that this evil stage
Will only end when we achieve victory.

I pour my heart into a strike against another blade
To deflect the attack. The enemy stares at me
Like a wild beast. He isn’t wrong.
Other soldiers swing at me as I roll back.
My comrades attack and pierce their chests.
I hear them suffocating. We push forward.

Enemies and allies fall to their knees
All around me. Tears brim in my eyes.

Everyone lays around except me and one man.
Our pain leads us toward each other;
The gravity of our hearts pulls eternally.

Our blades clash with the heaviness we carry
As our feet sink into the bog. A photo falls
From the enemy’s pocket but we attack again.
I scream and kick the man back into the mud,
He takes off his helmet, we stare at each other.

We get ready for another fight.
“Only one can live this hell.”
“By sky, by earth, by sea; return.”
The man slices through my arm
Before I can even react. I fall
Into his arms and stab him in the gut.

“Aim to kill. Your enemy will show. . .”
“No. . .mercy.” He coughs up blood.
I couldn’t watch. I wrap my hands
Around his neck so he suffers no more.

After I pick up his sword and rest it in the ground.
The storm dissipates but, I keep on crying
For everyone that died today; the only sound
Left to be heard. “We were all trying. . .”

Daylight Breaks

“The payment atones but if we never change
Then what good is it? We are all so strange.”

I turn toward the Sun and begin walking.

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The Mists: An Innovation of Faith and Science

“The tragic world we live in held me for a while.
All tragedies must eventually end. And I smile.”

Drenched in sorrow she poured the gasoline
Over her church clothes. A lit cigarette burned
Her world to only ashes. Her friends begged
For answers but they know the dead never tell.

What came of her after that departure? Forget
Everything you know and let me create the set.

A beautiful collection of memories, the cultivation
Of the lives we live. Beings made of the Universe
Experience vastly different memories. To collect
Data a dimension exists beyond space and time.
When this voyager found her material body inefficient
Every memory transferred over. Her consciousness
Awoke in an unknown yet comforting place. On a boat
Floating over calm waters at dawn she finally sleeps.

When she awakes there’s herself she must face
Until her metaphysical wounds heal. It’s no race
Because life’s never easy and has no set pace.

sa;bdry
The idea that the Universe is God and organisms exist as his senses.

A Flower of Shattered Glass

What can be seen in this distant reverie? My heart
And hands failing to reach. The reality is so chilling
Like I’ve been dead or I was a corpse from the start.

Dreams given our breath can raise the dead. Only so far
Can this way take us and at a point we must take an oar.

Who would defy the flow, clear these vines, and remain?

I walk my own path. All I’m trying to do is live a life
I can believe in. No side taken even under a knife.

I’ve been broken and lost in the madness but I’ll walk
Forward in solidarity with my friends. We know what’s
At risk. That’s why we stand up even when we’re afraid.
No one can break what’s already been broken long ago.

Among shattered glass I see petals. There’s so much more
Than what has been lost in pursuit of everything we swore.

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The form may be lost but the dream remains.

To Face This Life

Still working on my first novella little by little. Everyday I find myself thinking about the plot. At a point I needed a break from writing it. The problem was created when I asked myself very honest questions. For example:
 
What is best for a person to do?
 
To lose yourself in the duty of others; to do what is expected of yourself; to live for something greater. I understand these points of view but I seek so much more. The closest to truth I found is in a quote from Gautama Buddha.
 
“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.”
 
In the novella a man makes a promise to never resort to violence like the people who destroyed the life he once had. The friend he promised that to dies in his arms before he could tell her his true feelings. His world keeps turning on him but for this promise he’ll keep living on.
 
I started wondering about what that would feel. Reality will set in and each day will just get harder than the last. The truth is I am unsure if I could keep my word. True love stays around forever. She left a mark on him that cannot be erased. What if he uses violence to protect those hurt? Truthfully humanity talks in ideals. The truth should be unprecedented but simple like breathing.
The novella started teaching me more about life. I decided that maybe I need to understand much more before this novella can be. My poetry took root during that time of indecision. The plot of the novella haunted me each time I started to write. Life started creating more struggles for me to overcome. I lost a lot of things and thought I’d never recover.
Many of these lost things weren’t selfish. Strength of my muscles declining, body pain, and faith in what I promised to loved ones. I silenced my voice because I’m ready for the fight of a lifetime. To write about love and never reach it. . .to hold the hand of someone who wants to stay. Nobody will help me reach the girl I truly love and at least she tells me she truly loves me too. Every day I traverse leads me closer.
Will she or eternity catch me first?
Everyone tells me to enjoy what I have. I’m living in stasis, a pale dream of the greater whole. I try learning new things, dreaming of a happy day, believing time is on my side, and realizing I lie to myself. These lies ate everything I am. Until I can break free from them I’ll never understand how the novella ends. The pain keeps me from writing sometimes. And now I know why.
Life wants me to act even if I’m scared. FUCK IT, I WILL CHASE WHAT I BELIEVE IN UNTIL MY FINAL BREATH.
sa;bdry