Frealigayn ~ The Temporal Reaper

Catch the wind with unfurled sails.
I’ve been sailing the Stygian Seas
In search of forgetmenots and time.

Yeah, this distance can never be calculated.
To stay true, material, you’ll be underestimated
As you fall through the cracks in the pavement.
What more can someone say? A statement
Given, guilt construed; the number rears
Up. Take the last walk beneath hallow stars.

I don’t get it. The hunger turns to madness.
Is it in my blood or is it in my head? Dark
Waters wash away the old as a maelstrom
Follows me. It threatens to erase who I am.

Live; Don’t Run Away

Traversing pass thousands of stars.
The river erases everything even scars.

Greedily holding onto this one, lonely sunset
We burn our hands. The way barred by a lack
Of dreams and a melancholy sickness. Hack
And cough up the ilk we take as our regiment.

Who knows what’s right any longer?
A masquerade that never ends despite
All of the tears behind carbon masks.
We see the headlines reading our wounds,
Self-inflicted and left to go septic.
Run in circles and scream for change
From ourselves; it’s only our fault.

When we take off the masks we’re fearful
Of everyone else. The monsters in our heads
Were born when we fell so low to the floor.

Between the burn and the fall gain humility.
Entertain the idea that we all might be wrong
In this expansive universe. Dreams so strong
They can shatter through our false reality.

If we keep heading in the same direction we will reach where we’re headed. We can hope for a miracle or forget the bad but that ain’t an answer. Face the darkest and brightest day with the same desire to see tomorrow. ~ Don’t follow those that can’t discern their heart from a crowd. Because the worst thing we can become is numb and dismissive.

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Of These White Flames

I spoke the lost truth born from the Loom
Of Woven Lies to avoid impending doom.

The reality we’re all too afraid to take witness,
But it’s there within the heaviness of our hearts.
Inside there is a war we wage that’ll never end
Because we never learn. I stand guilty as well.
My heart left calloused from attempts to see
While still blind. Words others said resonate
Like birds singing yet they’re nowhere now.

Why did they lie? I’m left here hung by their words,
My noose; the condemned convict left for the crows.
All I did was ask for the truth then they took swords
Against my existence. “All the stones a giant throws.”

I’ll burn in white flames until we can see eye to eye.
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The Defiled Heart

The darkness inside lashes at my memories
In an attempt to steal who I am. It’s the mark
Burned into my flesh awaking my inner demons.

My wrath, lust, and pride slithering under my skin;
A burn that never goes away. Will they ever win?
I swallow my unsettled doubts, like pills with gin.

We don’t choose the fights we’re tossed into. Survive,
That’s what our hearts scream. Is that why I still strive?

Dark and cold black flames judge my heart to a feather.
I failed. Know that I’m not giving in. There’s a day that
I gotta see with these eyes and feel with these hands.
My wretched fate repeats day by day yet, I smile.

They call me Ariex Nightblade. I watched wars,
Witnessed genocide, killed a friend; I left
The Royal Protectorate to heal these scars.
This curse I took on instead of being ever so bereft.

My brother Synji bears the other mark.
The endarkened; the illuminated.
We serve two roles in a grand tragedy.

I need to survive. . .reject fate ordained.

sa;bdry

Our Redemption

The Sins We Carry Together

When did all the little lies we once said manifest
Into hate and disconnect? The lives we risk in an
Attempt to conceal our sins. Will they ever return?
I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself.
In my hand I hold a sword but, I know I’m a killer.

Dark clouds stretch from horizon to horizon
As if on this day Gehenna comes for us all.

The generals lead us into tactical formation.
Others look at mementos thinking about others
And their promise to return. But this is devastation,
The last station between life and death flowers.

Flowers will grow from the corpses both sides leave.
The pollen will reach loved ones. They’ll cry and heave.
I’m not here for honor and justice. Wars must be fought;
The sins of the few are the sins of humanity. I sought. . .

Peace that never came. If war is the price we pay
Take me instead of these people with lives
To return to.

Step to the drawn line,
The flowers will blossom soon;
We face the storm now.

Gehenna Rising

The sound of catapults firing, louder than thunder,
Echoes across the battlefield. Formation scatters,
Calvary clashes between the carnage, and the blood
Flows from mangled bodies into the fray.

Kindness absent in both our and their eyes.
Instead a flame burns, threatening what’s left
Of our humanity. How the truth is swept
Away even as we bleed under these skies.

Does anyone understand the consequences?
Thieves steal and live, heroes fight and die.
We aren’t characters in a story. We won’t surrender
To those that push good people to kill. Soldiers stand
Together staring into the abyss selfishness makes.

The coins we cast into wells never answered;
Tears into blood and mud. We are the tortured.

We raised Gehenna in search of redemption. . .

The Demon Within

In a flash of lightning and fire the cavalry
Enter the abyss. Both armies charge.
We all understand that this evil stage
Will only end when we achieve victory.

I pour my heart into a strike against another blade
To deflect the attack. The enemy stares at me
Like a wild beast. He isn’t wrong.
Other soldiers swing at me as I roll back.
My comrades attack and pierce their chests.
I hear them suffocating. We push forward.

Enemies and allies fall to their knees
All around me. Tears brim in my eyes.

Everyone lays around except me and one man.
Our pain leads us toward each other;
The gravity of our hearts pulls eternally.

Our blades clash with the heaviness we carry
As our feet sink into the bog. A photo falls
From the enemy’s pocket but we attack again.
I scream and kick the man back into the mud,
He takes off his helmet, we stare at each other.

We get ready for another fight.
“Only one can live this hell.”
“By sky, by earth, by sea; return.”
The man slices through my arm
Before I can even react. I fall
Into his arms and stab him in the gut.

“Aim to kill. Your enemy will show. . .”
“No. . .mercy.” He coughs up blood.
I couldn’t watch. I wrap my hands
Around his neck so he suffers no more.

After I pick up his sword and rest it in the ground.
The storm dissipates but, I keep on crying
For everyone that died today; the only sound
Left to be heard. “We were all trying. . .”

Daylight Breaks

“The payment atones but if we never change
Then what good is it? We are all so strange.”

I turn toward the Sun and begin walking.

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Reaching Into The Dark

By the clandestine blade of light falling at dawn
I will cleave apart the darkness within your heart.

Remember when these eyes were full of wonder,
A time lost in ruins. Every day had potential
And we stayed afloat through conventional
Means. Was it time or pain that left us asunder?

I kept getting back up for you
But, I never checked on you.
The pain I have given to you.

Did my ignorance shatter the glass containing the darkness
Within your heart? I’ve messed up and must find a way
To fix this friendship. Let the fight go and give to weakness,
We shouldn’t hurt each other anymore. A price we can’t pay.

I’ll carry this sorrow with you. You will never be alone.
I don’t truly understand but I don’t want you to be gone.
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Misdirection

Stepping to the line that divides what I knew
From what I learned. The reality I have now
Might be a travesty in the eyes of the few.
At a point in the past I would wonder how.

Did I really care that much I’d judge myself?
Their words caught and placed me on a shelf.

My hands that can’t build or destroy a palace
Don’t play any role on this lonely island
Planet. What more can you want from me?
I gave my everything and still fell down.
We have grown but these scars remain
Making me believe I’m useless.
The strength I use to live is stolen
Because I don’t have any left.

One more bad dice roll from being forgotten.
I bet everyone would like that, to forget my sin
Then move on like I was never even here.
I see that daily. The truth has been clear
So I’ll try my best to live a lie with some reason.
What has hurt me will someday be forgotten.

Will I ever be able to live in your world?
I’ll always be there but I’m not that cold.

We won’t see eye to eye when you hate
Me for being what you can’t be.
The pain I fought through resonates
And trust me you’d never want a taste.
Fear consuming all that I am.

I’m so far gone since that fateful day
When you marked me. Shaken
My faith in this life I’ve taken.
The self hate that I will no longer say.


I have often questioned what I don’t like and why. My mind tries to understand every point of view for justification purposes. (Often that means forgiving horrendous acts because the person did what they thought was truly right even when they were misled.) Most people wouldn’t want to cross that line because they may never be able to find their way back. I’m positive I lost myself.

I can justify the worst actions but not mine. By judging myself too harshly I fail to find much meaning in the life I lead. Wish I could. The only tethers I have to this life are my friends even though they probably just pity me. “What do they really think of me?” haunts my mind when talking to them. If I started crying would they even know that THIS is why. There is an emptiness inside I will always hide.

The days slip by with me trying to do anything constructive. My hands slip before I ever become anything substantial. Others judge my failed efforts making me feel entirely useless. I can’t be them. I still try to be though! This is what can’t be justified. If I ever want to truly fight my own battle I need to tune out everyone else. I’m learning how to be the best man I can be.

Talk to me and you’ll never see the pain I harbor. Never believed anyone would help me so I never asked. Years went by I still remained quiet. People said I was either stupid or mean which I loathed with my whole being. No one expected anything from me. Where are my friends now? They’re moving on when my feet refuse to do the same. Will any of them reach out to see if I’m alright? Maybe they just gave up on me.

I made new friends who remind me  that this whole thing is wrong. I’m doing the best I can in a tough situation. The words of others affect me more because I am self conscious after everything that has happened to me. My mind never stops analyzing giving myself a different perspective that others have a tough time relating. I found people who take the time. Everything is starting to look up.
sa;bdry

Eye to Eye with the Darkness

These days I’ve seen doves become ravens
Yet the grace remains in their flight. Hunger,
The difference between the good and the evil.

I watch from afar as death and injustice
Rest atop the apex of this epoch as deities.
My hands appear bloody in my dreams.

Their deaths stain both the lost and silent.
My heart tries but will never be resilient.

I call it a curse because I’m fearful of the truth I see.
Anchor myself in truth though I speak in allusions
For it hurts my soul to know. The world has illusions
That I never make friends with. Castoff in the sea.

If I end up drowning in all the blood spilled by the avaricious
Know I have no regrets for I could never close my own eyes.
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To Learn

Sometimes I start feeling like the worst
When remembering catastrophes I created.
The good left desecrated. Flowers wilting
After they bloom. My heart rejects that time.

A time I didn’t know myself. You’re right,
I did terrible things and I can’t fix the past.
These memories sting but they won’t last
If my heart keeps beating to find the light.

No matter what I’ll be prepared for a fight
When it comes my way. Sorry, I failed you
Yet I call on that for the strength I’m lacking.

“I moved on.” The lie everyone says once in a while.
Nobody can forget what they gave just to see a smile.
Is that all gone? Regrets force us to change. (No denial!)
learning

Embedded Chains, Thorns of Remembrance

Can I just see the truth? A question haunting
Me like a specter. Oh, the banshees will sing
The refrain of my hallowed breathing. They
remember what I don’t and it is in what I say.

But the specter still drifts endlessly. A heartfelt melody
Unheard. If it can then just let it fade away, my remedy.

Screams echo through this rundown chapel
Carrying the force of emotions. Devotion
Was common here until the day the bell rang no more.
It was on the day of a wedding. The lovers who swore
Their lives together but it felt like treason.
A beautiful flower until you reach the last petal.

What came on that day? The truth entombed.
Eyeless groomsmen and handless bridesmaids;
We danced to the times for we were damned.

Ill touched wineglasses resting in sight.
Magically entranced by shining moonlight
We took but a sip of Death’s love on that night.
One by one we join the curtain call as our last right.

Who am I? A shifting illusion in the Sun’s rays,
An unsung bell on a thin rope, that never strays.

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