Tag: A New Tomorrow

I stand with Humanity, my brothers and sisters

by Desnei, posted in Art
Created with Microsoft Fresh Paint
“A Drowning Cry”

I write about a lot of worlds with evil. Some of the horrors are quite excruciating and pitiless. My mind must find a way to understand how the characters react. Life doesn’t give a simple choice. Some of us will seek revenge, some will face sorrow, some will break apart, and some will rise from the ashes like a phoenix. I learned most of these paths from living my own life.

A lot of things in life can hurt. Some things penetrate further into the heart than others. I opened up my heart to every point of view I can. The sorrow is too much but I can’t neglect other people. Everyone cries out for understanding. I will do all that I can to make sure that I help whoever I can. The fire in my heart can relight other hearts that have been smothered. It’s my one mission:

Never let the cries of others go unheard.

The Mythic Sommerfall (Back to the Primordial Waters)

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Twisting vines chase the droplets of water
Falling from the eaves far above a chasm.
The song of an engine’s roar and sputter echoes in the distance
Unbenounced to the mystical workings underground.

Radical differences, immutable choices, lost faith
Set the way towards indifference. A land of desolation
And apathetic people. The creation of another wraith.
Mechanical aspirations sloughed off by natural sedation,
An elimination of artificial beings. Sleep away.
The flood gate of my mind bursts. Sleep away.

Strangling dreams do possess me as I’m awake
In this often changing scenery. I slightly choke
On a fear consuming me. Am I simply fake?

Emotions pouring forth remind me that I do feel.
I’m reeling from a realization, an awakening,
That I don’t truly agree with. I slowly begin to kneel
And cross my hands against my chest. Running
Hasn’t saved me from this world. Can’t get away
From this atmosphere choking me. So I’ll stay.

The vines constantly chase a magical beginning
Or perhaps an ending, a place to rest for eternity.
Away from sight, out of mind; the price of dreaming.
Afraid of the mechanical beast ripping apart the Trinity.

People. They learn to rely on the progress of design.
It doesn’t make sense why but they are willing to sign.
A deus ex machina. A reason to live free under an ensign.

Nature. What does it take to create? A sacrifice.
Take the beauty and synthesize it. Roll the dice.
What can go wrong? Throw a sword blindly and it’ll slice.

Compassion. Everybody is looking for someone
Who sees the light deep inside. Most of them are gone
But back into the game. All the same ’til what remains is bone.

I await the magical epiphany of this life to which I pay homage.
The world remains scarred, torn apart. Let’s heal the damage.
sa;bdry

A Motionless Dream — Part I, Chapter I

by Desnei, posted in Short Story

What makes the world start and go? Is it the people or the movement of atoms? The clock clicks forward as the soldiers march over a battlefield littered with corpses. A machine made of flesh and bone grinds against the harden earth. Every breath breaks away at the wall that separates today and tomorrow. Caught in the hands of a forsaken man who drives into me the cords of my own defeat like a symphony of strings heard only as a city burns. So why does this keep going?
Circumstance. We live only in an attempt to say we’re not dead. The beauty to be seen is merely an illusion fading away into the endless darkness of the night. A little iris flower sprouting from the flesh of a dead man as if he is only soil. Perhaps that is the reason I seek. All I need is a little reminder that everything is everything. You might ask why. I have no answer to that except a gut feeling. My past is unknown. I am here but without memories so am I truly me?
I awoke in this motionless dream. . . .

The sweet smell of dew covered flowers overwhelms me. My blurry eyes open up, I blink a few times, and look around me. A grassy field stretches far beyond the horizon in every direction. I try standing up but my legs feel so numb. I sit up to get a better idea of my surroundings. Flowers dot the landscape, small plots of wheat sway back and forth against a light gale, and a tree sits a few feet away casting shade over me. I dig my hands into the soil beside me. It’s wet and rich by the way it feels between my fingers like a moist cake.
I expect a bug to crawl up my thigh but never does. I glance around to see if there are birds flying in the sky. None. An eerie silence parades through this place like a chill down my spine. My heart races faster and the scenery starts to spin. A fear, so tangible, grips me by my throat. I struggle to awake from this nightmare. The blue sky darkens to a purple with black clouds drifting slowly on by. My eyes close.
Bustling noise of people brings me back. I look around to see nothing from before except for the tree. Concrete fills the fields, people replace the flowers, and long gorgeous hair flows in the wind. I’m leaning against a wooden pillar holding up the awning to a little wagon showing its wares. A guy perhaps only a year older than me watches me with a charmed expression. I blush at him ever so lightly.
“I see you’re awake! We haven’t had many customers yet. The day is just so beautiful I guess. They all walk on by with smiles. It’s just a part of the trade. How was your sleep? Any dreams?” he eagerly fills me in on what’s going on.
“I uh,” hesitating from the fact I don’t know him, “I did. It was this place but without the town. A beautiful meadow where I couldn’t get up or speak. It was so weird.”
“Dreams do that. Maybe you’ll find some hidden truth in it. Most people move on from their dreams so quickly to live this life but the dreams had something to say. Do you remember our talk three nights ago?”
“I can’t say I do.”
“We’ve grown up a lot in the last two years. We know just who we want to be. I want to follow my father’s footsteps and sell this prdouce to these people. I don’t grow enough for a small militia but enough to sell and eat. When I asked you what you want to be you said you wanted to think on it. Do you know now?”
“Hm I can’t say for sure. I really want only one thing right now.”
“Me.”
“What?”
“What?”
“I was going to say I want to know what’s going on.”
“What we do every week?”
“I don’t remember any of this. Do you really know me?”
“Uh yeah? Is something wrong?”
“Oh. Nothing. I guess I’m just really tired or something. Everything feels a little off.”
“Haha, alright. I was scared for a moment. You looked like you were lost.”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe what?”
“Sorry. I’m thinking out loud don’t mind me.”
“Rae go for a stroll. I can hold the fort down. You just seem like you need some time and space. I’ll be waiting here so try to get back before dusk. I’d hate to not get home before the storm.”
“Alright. What time is it though?”
“A little pass three. If the Sun starts setting just come back. Some people in this town are very weird and I don’t want you to get hurt. Go to the gardens or something. Let go of whatever is bothering you.”
“Thanks.”
I quickly walk away. My memories don’t exist. I try to recall them but only nothingness is there. I only remember my name of Ilyianna. People wave at me like they know me. I wave back only half heartedly. The sound of my feet tapping on the cobblestone road sounds so unreal. Every step tears me from this reality a little more. Thoughts about the dream circle around in my head adding to the disassociation.
My feet stop for a second as I look at the ground. A little piece of paper sits there with a rock weighing it down. I look around to see if anyone left it but no one did. Most of the people mind their own business and keep to themselves. Nervous hesitation shakes through my arm as I reach down and pick up the paper. Words written in blood seep through reading:
If you can see this you have awoke. Good. My name doesn’t matter. I know of Ilyianna’s secret and I bet you want to know. I can’t write it down. You’ll understand soon. Remember this — The clock strikes the umbral heart at exactly light of dawn before the breath of day.
What is going on? What does that mean? Damn it! I have no clue what to think. I need answers not more questions. Ugh, please something start to make sense. I start running. People look oddly at me making me run faster. My heart beats so fast that it could jump right out of my chest. Someone sneaks up on me and puts a hand around my stomach. I scream but nobody hears me. The person gets right next to my ear.
“Be quiet. Did anyone tell you not to walk to this side of town? Some really unsavory types set up shop here. A pretty girl like you could catch a nice penny. Hell, they don’t mind if you’re used too.”
“Get away from me!” I yell.
“Oh how cute. Men like a woman with a little sass especially in bed. It makes it more worthwhile.”
“You’re a monster.”
“I like to see myself as an entrepreneur. The real monster is all of us. These bodies crave lust. I can’t help but give the masses what they want. Supply and demand.”
An arrow flies pass both of us hitting the ground nearby. The man at the wagon from earlier stands there with a bow. He smiles and walks closer. My captor lets me go to back away from this scene. Another arrow hits him in the shin. He screams loudly then whimpers. I run to my savior and cower by his side.
“Are you hurt Rae?”
“I’m just shaken up. I’ll be okay.”
“So what were you trying to do? I know this is a shady part of town but still. I want an answer.” firmly states the young man.
“I thought she needed help. Some of these unsavory types would violate her. Not I. I would never hurt a woman.”
“What do you do for a living?”
“Nothing.”
“Really? A man has been accused of helping the slave trade by preying on helpless women and children. A scruffy man who finds the only thing beautiful in the world is money. He couldn’t respect a woman if he saw one.”
“Watch your tongue! This is my district. Stay to your own. Don’t act so high and mighty when you never starve. Do you even know what it takes to stay safe in this world? By being the first one to act.”
“No. If I starved I wouldn’t hurt another just to eat. Fight your own struggle don’t involve others. It’s a test of will. A test you failed. Pick up your stuff, leave those good people be, and get the hell out of my town. Now!”
“And if I don’t?”
“The law doesn’t protect criminals and thieves.”
“It actually does. Until a self-entitled saint swings his morals around like a gavel. I don’t have to listen to you. I’ll be staying here until the end.”
“Rae, please turn away.” as he says that I turn.
A single arrow flies through the air. The tang of the string echoes through the cobblestone streets. People look up at the unfolding scene. I lean my back against the man wondering what he feels deep inside. How do you kill someone so easily? Why would he not back down? I don’t even know you. Why? He places a hand on my shoulder and kisses my cheek.
“We shouldn’t stay here. Come on. Don’t look back whatever you do.”
He drags me up off the ground. I catch my footing and start running to keep up. The gasps of the townsfolk perpetuate the smell of iron in the air. They don’t understand why. I don’t understand either. I just run to keep ahead of my doubts that will surely tear apart this reality. A hundred questions left without answer. I’m the criminal running from a forgotten past.
My heart beat stabilizes with every step away from the blood spill. I can’t fight an urge to look back. I slightly turn my head right before he places a hand over my eyes. He laughs at me and I glare at him angrily. I decide to not look back despite my urge.
“If you look back at the darkness you’ll never escape. Look forward. Do you see the light?” he stretches a hand out towards the setting Sun.
“Yes.”
“Stay focus on that. It will be the only way to awake from the darkness. I don’t know if I can take you there. I just hope you hold onto this. Don’t stay too long where you are lost or else you’ll become the reason why you’re lost. Learn to walk towards the light even by yourself. For now, just come with me.”
sa;bdry

The Weight of a Heart

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Forgotten days in a slumber,
No matter what I do I can’t remember
And it’s killing me on the inside.
Lately I kill myself to cope, my self homicide
Cuz’ I keep on breathing and screaming.
I walk a path of no return with bells a ringing.

Looking for some way back home
Where I don’t feel my heart’s wound.

A lazy afternoon tossing rocks across water
But every single one sinks without a skip.
My heart suffers the weight. Trying harder
In denial of the fear as I fall on a spear’s tip.

The Sun dips below the horizon with it’s own grace
Never concerned with reason. In this Season
Before Winter the days shorten. No long day race
To dissuade me from mending. Winter is evident of my treason.

The Summer burns away my false skin showing
A stitched up heart beating oh so slow ‘n steady.

I feel everything. This anxiety builds up inside of me
And at any moment I might just tear out my heart.
Soon the first frost will cover every bare nerve.
My chilled blood residing in my heart will circulate and start.

Old scars reopen. I remember everything but I must change from inside.
This time is my reset. A day I can find somewhere for my heart to reside.

All things change like the heat of a flame. Sometimes you just need a little fuel.
All things change like the heat of a flame. Sometimes you just need a little fuel.

A Deep Blight / A Friend Lost

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Light, thin leaves fall from olden trees.
Months before Autumn,
A corruption takes hold as our eyes close.
Floating in an open dream,
Unsure of what’s reality
And what’s fiction, desires at hand,
Eternity’s gates open,
Time races by, life withers away.

How does one sip sweet ambrosia
To slip under the veil of lies, Lethe?
Shattered memories, forgotten days;
Forsaking everything for sole salvation.
What of trepidation? Immune. Oblivious.
A lifetime under the Sun and Moon
Scorned, forgotten, and lost. Why?
Darkness swept away the daylight
And twilight haunted the path.

If I could place myself right next to you
Would it be the same? A broken life to renew
But you ran away. Where did you go?
I was a friend, a comrade; am I now a foe?

Your lips touch the metal of the chalice,
My heart beats faster and faster,
A sweet liquid pours down, I roll the dice,
Praying to not lose my friend. Water;
Quenching your thirst but the taste ain’t nice
When all you drink gets sweeter and sweeter.

Tell me why this world falls apart!
You enter paradise and walk over the fire,
No idea of what’s going on. Does it fix anything?
Does denial hold you in the dark of night?
Swallowing deathly toxins, rolling in the dirt,
And walking away from the panorama of despair.
Does this make it easier? Does this satisfy you?
Nothing to grieve, no respect to give, no life to live.

I gave you a home, solace, and time.
What did you give? Or did you just take?

A City of Glass: Part I, Chapter II

by Desnei, posted in Short Story

I open my eyes to see her head fall down onto my shoulder. She struggles to breathe but forces her head to turn towards my left ear. Her heartbeat speeds up, fear makes us both tremble, and I finally notice the blood. A bullet lodged itself in her rib cage after piercing one of her lungs.

“I forgot to tell. . .you why I came here. The royal army. . .sent their new. . .regiment to kill. . .the Mystical Veil. People who believe in religion. . .practice magic. . .aren’t deem human. . .will die. I wanted. . .you to. . .be hap. . .happy.” Her breathing stops but she kisses my cheek.

“I am happy! Don’t go before you know that. I was extremely happy that you came here to save me! You never let go of your promise to be there whenever I fall apart. I don’t want to leave your body here. What’s the purpose of all this? Please I need to hear you once again! Don’t die!”

“Ru..uh..n. . .” She rolls off of me with her failing strength.

My heart drops to the bottom of my chest while tears flood my eyes. I struggle getting my feet underneath me. The world spins around me and my stomach feels uneasy. I can’t hold it back. I never found myself shy to blood but this is far too much, too personal, and too real.

I get myself steady after the queasiness passes. Her last word repeats in my head. Run. Run. Run. Run. Shouts of men can be heard in the forest before the cliff. I can’t get pass them and I know that. I look to the sky beyond the cliff to see the Sun setting. My heart beats faster and faster until I begin running headlong towards the edge.

“I’m not worth your bullets! I’ll end this for you! Don’t go looking for me because the ocean will be my grave unless fate has something else in store for me! Let’s place a bet! If I come back I won’t be alone and we’ll take back this land for the memory of all who died to your destructive beliefs!!!” Gunfire sprays from the forest but not a shot hits me as I leap off the cliff.

I feel like I’m flying until gravity pulls me towards the rocks. Regrets cry out from within but I can’t say a word  as I fall like a spear into the sea. I’m sorry I couldn’t get away. They weren’t going to talk and I wanted to die next to you. Why did you tell me to run? Run to where? Save me somebody! My silent screams dig themselves into my spine forcing me to feel this unrelenting, crawling chill.

     Today is the worst day ever. I let my emotions get in the way and I almost killed myself. I killed the one person who made this life bearable. Her blood is on my hands. What God would. . .no this is the act of indecent men. If there is a God I need you now. Do whatever it takes just let me live through this day. I want to live on to be a thorn in the hide of evil so I can show light even in the dark. And if that is too much to ask then let her take my place in Heaven. I know she never believed in you but she never judged me for believing. She encouraged me to love you and if it wasn’t for her I’d be lost in my own sorrow. A life for a life is fair trade. I can’t ask for anything more.

    I close my eyes in anticipation of the end. The whole world shrinks to this place in the way a tragedy highlights the death of the protagonist. A single man isn’t wholly good or wholly evil but today one takes the stage. I am saying my last rights in my head as a wind touches my back as I am flung forward into salty water. My eyes open in my confusion to see a light above my head.

“A little wisp? They hide from people. What is it doing here? Did you. . .” I reach my hand towards the ball of light. “Who are you?” A familiar warmth startles me.  “Is this even possible?”

“Run.” The small wisp moves ahead and waits for me. I float in the water in a breathless daze while I look at my hand. “Run.”

I swim towards the light. The wisp keeps moving into the open ocean. Night descends upon us, the wisp leads on, I follow, and my heart feels her presence all around me. Whispers can be heard somewhere off in the distance but I can’t stop. My life is still in the hands of fate. The freezing water is slowing me down. My sense of touch fades away.

Suddenly the wisp rushes off into the night without me. Cold stiffens my joints and stings my throat. I can’t move. Did I follow a random wisp for no reason risking my life in the process? The warmth was so real like Olivia’s. I miss her. I grasped at the first thing to remind me of her. An old love  found in the warmth of another. I’m truly pathetic if I seek her so badly. Love is a great thing until the day it falls from the hands of whoever holds it. I still feel her love although she’s gone.

My eyes begin closing. A lot of little lights come into view in front of me. My body starts shutting down. Darkness covers everything once again. I could float endlessly in the tides like a rocking chair lulling me to sleep. Pinholes of warmth spread across my body letting me open my eyes once more. The wisps fade into my skin, they sing a song as they come to me, and magically my life recovers.

The world we once loved,
It has been made different and changed.
Some point we fell from our life
And found ourselves under a scythe.

Together we sing of light
To break us out of this endless night.
Our tears can flood
But no more do we have blood.

Something holds us to the Earthen soil
Although we left this mortal coil.

     Every light fuses with my body except for one. It floats in my reach as if waiting for something. Olivia’s light hasn’t touched me yet. Can this be her? What should I do? I reach my hand out towards the light only to see Olivia materialize before me. The whole world feels right once again.

     “I can’t stay long Rayne. I came to give you a final goodbye in this form. I’ll follow you endlessly as a wisp though. I heard you blaming yourself. Dumb ass! I did what I wanted to do because I love you. If I didn’t I would’ve let you get impaled by those rocks earlier.”

     “Do you have to criticize me even when you’re dead? I thought maybe this could be romantic but. . .” she kisses me quickly.

     “I do love you and that’s why I criticize. A ship will be here soon. I’ll be a wisp by the time they reach us. These people hunt a rare fish that breeds under the light of wisps. Go with them to wherever. You’ll have a good life. Forget about the past, keep me near, and move forward. Rayne, babe, I need you to promise me that you won’t ever come back to Dragacia. A horrible genocide will begin. I can’t handle the thought of losing you to those soldiers. Please promise me.” her body begins to shimmer and fragment.

     “I promise. We can be together forever this way. I’ll never let go of that as long as you’re around.” I kiss her back just before she turns back into a wisp.

A City of Glass: Part I, Chapter I

by Desnei, posted in Short Story

     My feet stand at the ledge of a cliff. Jagged rocks at the bottom claw towards the sky above. The gentle wind begs me to take another step, my heart clings to the Earth with memories, and the whole world spins on. I stare across the blue sea while licking my dry lips.

     “These ghosts follow so closely to reality. Inside these machines it’s electricity giving meaning to their movements. Is every dream the remnant of a creature or the decay of metal? If pain has no reason and dreams are meant to shatter then I can’t stay here anymore. Let me take this step, my gentle heart, because we weren’t strong enough to face the horrors of this world.” I try to take a step but my body won’t listen. “Why can’t I just run away from this place? Days after days I find myself here again. I’m unable to will myself.”

     Rushed footsteps echo from behind as two arms wrap around my chest. I fall backwards against a soft body. A hand plays with my hair and light giggles fill the world with joy. I reach up to touch a familiar cheek as warm as sunlight. Both of us smile for what feels like an eternity.

     “You look happy. Why. . .” she slaps me across the face, “Why in the world would you think about jumping!? You’re such a dumb ass sometimes. Did you know that? I won’t let you up until you answer me. Why?”

“Other people live so blindly. I can’t even tell if we’re the same creature. I don’t know if I want to know the truth. They told me that my God is an illusion. I told them they’re wrong but no I’m the criminal for believing in something more. What’s so wrong to look beyond this place of broken dreams? I want to get away from them before my heart breaks apart. You stopped me from taking the step into the other world. Do you do it out of love or do  you want me to fall and shatter? The cynics in this world push me too far. I can’t even see the good sometimes. Maybe they’re right that there’s no God.”

     “They’re wrong. God lives inside of you. Nobody can take away what makes you you. Let them say we are wrong and diseased and let them know we won’t ever change. If you don’t defend who you are they will rip you apart,put their beliefs inside of you and sow you back together with your own heart strings.” She slowly bends over to kiss my cheek.

We sit there in silence. The only noise is the song of birds echoing endlessly throughout the coast. If I listen closer I can hear her heartbeat. Ba dum, ba dum, ba dum, ba dum. I wrap an arm around her making her smile at me. A shiver runs down my spine. Words fill my mind but a knot in my throat stifles every attempt to utter a single breath.

     She leans against me, I let her get as close as she wants, we both turn our faces toward each other, eyes meet, a fire inside burns ever brighter, we lean in for the kiss, our lips touch, her tongue touches mine, time stands still, and a glorious light fills my eyes. Sensations flood my mind. I can’t tell what is going on but part of me doesn’t care. The haze in my mind clears up to show her above me staring into my eyes with a lost, enchanted demeanor.

     “Where does this begin and end? Caught in a swirling whirlwind. I want so much to give you all of my heart. The lovely way you enter my life, break the shell on my heart like a castle  wall, and maybe this a coup d’etat but I know my sins so I’m willing to place my life in your hands. Bring justice or bring salvation.”

     “Lay silent me Lord. Talk is cheap on the edge of love and lust. We could give in, let go, and be free. I love you.” A gun sounds off in the distance creating a chilling moment where time felt surreal in a bad way.