Among the Sun and the Shade: Intro

They say disregard those that are weird and to accept those that are different. When their charade is exposed the journey begins. We’re sailing into a jungle where a bright Sun burns anyone outside. Most will steer away from this land of tribulation and seek refuge in the shade, but I can’t anymore. The Sun burns away the veil. . .

 

The Change Between

There’s a hope found in the inferno blaze
Licking at these feet again. Pillage and raze
The city on a hill, our midsummer daze.

They said “Every flower will someday wilt,”
But nothing of their guilt. Indifference?
No. Ignorance, an unwillingness to accept
That things will always change with time.

A first cry turns into a broken tombstone;
Be you rich, poor, good, evil, lost or found.
Life is the change in between. We might be gone
With our first breath but we still make a sound.

How could that ever be right or wrong?
For even a dew-kissed rose has thorns.

sa;bdry

The MAJI

These misguided efforts to overcome or change
An outcome is no more than a balancing act.
But who else would? The riddle of existence.

When others stand in your way clear the path,
Be them stronger, richer, or holier. Hell hath
No fury stronger than what hearts run on.
Not coal or oil. Blood and hope, life’s contagion.

I don’t bow and never will,
If power matters so much you’re unfit
To rule and you too must fade.

If the meek will ever rise we’re artifacts of an age
Long dead in terms of practicality. The war we wage
Never ends because we chase glory, our damage.

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The MAJI: Soldiers without a creed

Defiant Hearts (A Spear of Light)

From ashes of a tree obsidian walls rise around.
A ghost conjuring tragedy. Don’t make a sound.

The Obsidian Lord feasts on the hysteria and fear.
Like exuberant birds scattered by a gunshot
We’re the prey in this great hunt. For every tear
They still offer us no mercy. Rage so hot
Burning the rope that we hold onto ever so dear
In hopes that we can find water. Caught
Between hurt and hope yet, tomorrow is so near.

From a well we can still replenish what’s been lost
In search of who we are. They don’t understand
What we have on the inside that keeps us going.

No matter the darkness standing right before us we walk
Without fear. Never give them an inch or they’ll talk and talk.

falcon
We can’t let them be victorious. Be defiant until your very last day.

Of These White Flames

I spoke the lost truth born from the Loom
Of Woven Lies to avoid impending doom.

The reality we’re all too afraid to take witness,
But it’s there within the heaviness of our hearts.
Inside there is a war we wage that’ll never end
Because we never learn. I stand guilty as well.
My heart left calloused from attempts to see
While still blind. Words others said resonate
Like birds singing yet they’re nowhere now.

Why did they lie? I’m left here hung by their words,
My noose; the condemned convict left for the crows.
All I did was ask for the truth then they took swords
Against my existence. “All the stones a giant throws.”

I’ll burn in white flames until we can see eye to eye.
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The Veritian Sepulcher

A pair of dice, a canteen half full of water,
My tattered clothes, and an aged claymore;
The items I take with myself into this minor hell.

Legends say a monastery once used this place
For burials until a necromancer cult infiltrated.
The clergy couldn’t stop them. They penetrated
Every facet of the faith until they could replace.

Eventually they created a laboratory deep underground
To reanimate the deceased, inspired by fabled liches.
Fabled. The truth is they aren’t. Two factions of the dead
Fighting for revenge centuries overdue. I’m just unlucky.

I slept sound in my home yesterday. In the late of the night they came
And dragged me to this death trap. A victim, a candidate; the same.
fear_by_akirakirai-d37teev

For Peace

Just like a drug that only masks the pain
Your words are but a momentary haven.

“Save yourself and repeat your dressed up lie
Until it becomes truth.” I tried to believe but,
My heart can’t be persuaded since that night.

When I saw the stars peeking through trees
I could feel something greater pulling my insides.
Does it feel that way for you? What is it that resides
In that heart of yours? Listen to me, he who frees
Himself will find out how lonely it can be in a crowd.
We’re waking from a dream to a nightmare. Proud?
I’ve been wandering until the day I fall to my knees.

Just like a drug that only masks the pain
Your words are but a momentary haven.

I’m trying to keep composure. Am I fighting or surrendering?
The life where I act as a knight despite my kingdom in ruins
Because I promised the King. I am sick and tired of this war!
We have the potential to love but all I ever seem to find is hate.

If I lose everything what will I do? End this war with my hands.
I’m avoiding violence and teaching love. I pray these many lands
Find peace before the monster within me awakens. Take my hands.

Just like a drug that only masks the pain
Your words are but a momentary haven.

I need your actions to solidify what I’m standing for. . .

treestars
Source of this beautiful picture.

 

 

Tear Down the Wall Dividing Us

Waiting on the day I can breathe once again.
Choked on the fumes of existence and dreams,
I can”t breathe the same air as long as I remain
Living. Every time I try all I can hear are screams.

Is that the imprint left from mankind,
An inability to accept falling behind?

The idea that a wall exists dictating productive
From obsolete. Life should never be quantified
Yet, I still find my own heart to be quite ineffective
When the truth is seen: We’re divided not unified.

Trying my best they dissect and analyze.
We’re no longer trying to relate anymore.
This predatory game played only hurts us.

Don’t betray another for the lies you’ve been fed
For this world has seen much despair in our stead.

Misdirection

Stepping to the line that divides what I knew
From what I learned. The reality I have now
Might be a travesty in the eyes of the few.
At a point in the past I would wonder how.

Did I really care that much I’d judge myself?
Their words caught and placed me on a shelf.

My hands that can’t build or destroy a palace
Don’t play any role on this lonely island
Planet. What more can you want from me?
I gave my everything and still fell down.
We have grown but these scars remain
Making me believe I’m useless.
The strength I use to live is stolen
Because I don’t have any left.

One more bad dice roll from being forgotten.
I bet everyone would like that, to forget my sin
Then move on like I was never even here.
I see that daily. The truth has been clear
So I’ll try my best to live a lie with some reason.
What has hurt me will someday be forgotten.

Will I ever be able to live in your world?
I’ll always be there but I’m not that cold.

We won’t see eye to eye when you hate
Me for being what you can’t be.
The pain I fought through resonates
And trust me you’d never want a taste.
Fear consuming all that I am.

I’m so far gone since that fateful day
When you marked me. Shaken
My faith in this life I’ve taken.
The self hate that I will no longer say.


I have often questioned what I don’t like and why. My mind tries to understand every point of view for justification purposes. (Often that means forgiving horrendous acts because the person did what they thought was truly right even when they were misled.) Most people wouldn’t want to cross that line because they may never be able to find their way back. I’m positive I lost myself.

I can justify the worst actions but not mine. By judging myself too harshly I fail to find much meaning in the life I lead. Wish I could. The only tethers I have to this life are my friends even though they probably just pity me. “What do they really think of me?” haunts my mind when talking to them. If I started crying would they even know that THIS is why. There is an emptiness inside I will always hide.

The days slip by with me trying to do anything constructive. My hands slip before I ever become anything substantial. Others judge my failed efforts making me feel entirely useless. I can’t be them. I still try to be though! This is what can’t be justified. If I ever want to truly fight my own battle I need to tune out everyone else. I’m learning how to be the best man I can be.

Talk to me and you’ll never see the pain I harbor. Never believed anyone would help me so I never asked. Years went by I still remained quiet. People said I was either stupid or mean which I loathed with my whole being. No one expected anything from me. Where are my friends now? They’re moving on when my feet refuse to do the same. Will any of them reach out to see if I’m alright? Maybe they just gave up on me.

I made new friends who remind me  that this whole thing is wrong. I’m doing the best I can in a tough situation. The words of others affect me more because I am self conscious after everything that has happened to me. My mind never stops analyzing giving myself a different perspective that others have a tough time relating. I found people who take the time. Everything is starting to look up.
sa;bdry

Shifting Paradigms

A world I love for good and bad
Like the Sun and moon we watch
Every day. Every cell will attach
Creating all living things. I’m sad.
The endless beauty lost to a match
Destined to burn the canvas. A patch.
Temporary verdant, is all I ever had.

Will you ever see me just once?
I stay here watching you dance.

My true name remains unknown
But you know it. Say it to me again.
Human, a beast without a crown.

What I’m meant to be isn’t grand
Although, a majesty exists to be seen:
The gift of chance known as the Earth.
This is what I’m aiming to always see.
Existence. I find resistance from others
Bringing me to my knees. I’ll never beg!

Why force me into a lonely spiral?
Gripping to the ledge I remember
Everything I believe and love. November,
Harbinger of our frigid Winter crystal.

I thought we’d enter the blizzard’s fray
Without ill will but I saw you walk away.
There was a time I’d ask you to stay.

I’m caught in a shift from romanticism
And dark romanticism towards realism.


A romantic drowning in a world of realists. “Am I alone?” These three words echo in an empty space. Well there isn’t a point in self loathing when I know I’m different from the rest. I don’t fit the paradigm created by mankind. I have no desire to destroy or change it just observe. I’ll do what is necessary for a self-respectable life but nothing more. Lazy? Perhaps. Happy? Yeah. The difference is my life is based on the profound instead of the mundane.

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