A shaking fear, a trembling heart; the tides
Grow more fierce and head further inland.
I sit here awaiting it. Sifting grains of sand.
Looking for just another way that life guides.
Forward. An unsure destination
Marked by footsteps now fading. . .
Backward. A race to the beginning
Until the day forward is backward.
Do we walk and lose the path?
Do we walk until the path is lost?
I awake to the echo of clockwork. After rubbing my eyes I look around. Above me hangs a giant clock. It floats in a place where nothing else other than darkness exists. The time reaches midnight.
The darkness splits in half with light. White light like a spear pierces through this lonely chamber. I step toward the divide. An infant’s cry, a solemn gasp, and the ticking of a clock sound as I approach.
“Child, you have returned. The place you are is the first and last place your existence came to be. From the heights of freedom to the depths of sorrow you fell. Here, you can forget for you’ve become faded.” echoes an omnidirectional and gentle voice.
Cracks of light spread until everything clears up. I fall to my knees and gasp at the sight. Charred ground that black vines grow from goes from horizon to horizon. A mob of people with a dark gray eyes walks around aimlessly. I feel a coldness in their gaze.
One woman grabs my arm. Despair, loneliness, and captivity surge from her weak touch. I pull away suddenly. The mob turns toward me. My mind screams to run but, my body freezes in fear. Stupidly I think about the state of the human condition as they overpower me and tear at my flesh with overgrown nails.
“Damaged. . .” I spit out that single word with a little blood, “Anger and hate vents from broken and lost hearts. Are you looking for a new beginning? I know I am.”
They mindlessly attack me. I feel myself sinking beneath the tide of their bodies. All the emotions gnaw at my heels to keep me stuck here. I cry and scream for help while knowing it’s just in vain. Eventually my body grows numb to the pain.
I dig my nails into the charred ground and pull myself through the mob. My arms collapse from exhaustion. The shadows of their tangled bodies swallow me up whole. I try to remember better times before now because I can no longer feel anything. One memory finds its way among these dark times.
A day where my heart aches but my eyes could no longer cry. My best friend, another kid apprentice in a small town known for its superb smiths, argues with military officers about prices. They call him a greedy kid but they are wrong. He works hard trying to get medicine for kids in an orphanage.
He looks at the villagers who turn away from him. And I, his friend, walk away to work on my craft. After a few hours I run to his family home knocking on the door. No one answers. I decide to sit on their stairs until they return. Before I notice the suns begins setting bringing with itself a cold April shower. Cold and shivering I wait.
I open the door around midnight. He sits there on his knees in a pool of tears. The candles cast a shadow over him but I reach out to touch his shoulder. My thoughts race and no words come out. He pushes me away.
“Where did you go! They, no. . .no one believed me. Those kids are dying! And the military offers nothing while expecting cheaper prices for their duty. They called me a petty thief. No one spoke of my innocence as they called me guilty. Look at what silence does!” he raises bandaged hands missing a few fingers.
“I’m sorry but what could us kids change? They could’ve killed you.” I speak without hesitation and bite my tongue after.
“Get out.” he pushes me back.
That day’s mistake still eats away at my conscience. Thoughts like what-ifs gnash and tear. A wound forms from looking back while knowing I can never change the past. It keeps me awake at night. And my senses return with the old heartache.
“I fucked up back then. I know that. Yet from failure I still dare wish to succeed.” I shout with my whole heart.
“To feel pain is the cost to feel anything at all but don’t become obsessed with it. Learn to grow with every step. And with any luck this darkness, a horde of tainted hearts, will never be. Cure the blight.” everything blurs out of focus.
A blank page, a cloudless sky; we diverge
In an attempt to fill in the emptiness. Emerge
From a state of petrification inside a deluge.
Creating stories with life’s little time
And finding pride in accomplishments,
Everyone finds a road to traverse upon.
Be it grand or small and humble follow it.
Do these countless days slip away like a daydream?
The further we wade and the more we sink. Scream!
You’ll drown if you don’t enjoy the time you spend.
Either way the pages end up soaked, ink smeared,
And it’s beautiful destruction ~ a temporal odyssey.
Ever wonder about the nature
Of ethics? Changing with a feature
Called society and without departure.
Well, a isle in an ocean made of memories
Dared to see a new dawn of all the reveries
From which life gains purpose for stories.
A Dionysian Kingdom chasing freedom and highs.
At first the denizens talked, expressed, and loved
Without barriers but, jealousy and greed seeped in.
It does everywhere. We often fail to see this truth.
Bliss. Do we hide from the obscene or face it headlong?
Truthfully, I hope you never see all these haunting horrors
And can be free from these curses. To know human errors
Is to know your own / Maybe the pain makes us strong.
They say disregard those that are weird and to accept those that are different. When their charade is exposed the journey begins. We’re sailing into a jungle where a bright Sun burns anyone outside. Most will steer away from this land of tribulation and seek refuge in the shade, but I can’t anymore. The Sun burns away the veil. . .
“Vigilantes? We’re much worse. Just a demon
Clawing at the world’s innards. We’re anarchy.”
“That’s a band of thieves. Circulate the ill blood,
Feed your greed, toss out scraps from where you stood.”
“To survive takes will, to thrive takes a salary.
We’re all meat but some can become sovereign.”
The day comes when we reflect back. Did we do right?
Far after the fight, way beyond sight; a waning light.
There are possibilities, some harder to envision
Than the rest, that everyone can reach. Few race
Through life but a faster way often ends sooner.
I climb above the streets by wet, cold, slick bricks.
Rain drips from my saturated strands of hair,
Musty air fills my chest, I exhale my breath.
Others carry on through each drop. To stare
At their beautiful bittersweet world, Macbeth.
Catch the wind with unfurled sails.
I’ve been sailing the Stygian Seas
In search of forgetmenots and time.
Yeah, this distance can never be calculated.
To stay true, material, you’ll be underestimated
As you fall through the cracks in the pavement.
What more can someone say? A statement
Given, guilt construed; the number rears
Up. Take the last walk beneath hallow stars.
I don’t get it. The hunger turns to madness.
Is it in my blood or is it in my head? Dark
Waters wash away the old as a maelstrom
Follows me. It threatens to erase who I am.
Don’t bless these bullets with holy water,
They’re hollowed out by immutable hearts.
Hung my own heart out to dry. Blood starts
To go stale and bad just like rainwater.
I can no longer weigh my heart on scales.
Made and eat cake until it left cavities
Within my mind. That was the day I awoke.
I tasted something much sweeter than sugar.
From that great, legendary tree I eat the fruit
Growing from its branches. Watching, astute
In heart and mind; today life, tomorrow soot.
Everyone wants a place to belong
And a chance at happiness. Imagine,
What will people do without either?
They wage physical and psychological war.
I cross through the sea of their rage
In an exodus from their golden age.
Oh is my heart right? I keep breathing,
It’s all I can do. Yeah, no escaping.
The fact is I’d fight for the right
Of that opinion you hold so tight.
We have to stand up and fight.
Our enemies use our own morals against us.
To divide us. Why do we hate what makes us us?
See there’s a point where others manipulate us
For their own benefit. They don’t care about us.
Try to remember:
We have both a heart and a mind, to love and to understand.