A blank page, a cloudless sky; we diverge
In an attempt to fill in the emptiness. Emerge
From a state of petrification inside a deluge.
Creating stories with life’s little time
And finding pride in accomplishments,
Everyone finds a road to traverse upon.
Be it grand or small and humble follow it.
Do these countless days slip away like a daydream?
The further we wade and the more we sink. Scream!
You’ll drown if you don’t enjoy the time you spend.
Either way the pages end up soaked, ink smeared,
And it’s beautiful destruction ~ a temporal odyssey.
Silently the starlight disappears within the daylight.
I remember the dreams we outlined. It wasn’t right,
That’s what you say but I couldn’t shine in your light.
Don’t turn back to say sorry just shine like always
Because that’s how I know that you’re still okay.
Faraway among the distant sky and outer space you radiate
Creating the elements, redefining the primeval architecture.
Will anything remain the same? Like a storm you fracture
The walls surrounding. Will we rebuild or just decimate?
The desolate distance in between filled with the frequencies
Of two wild beasts. Every heartbeat drags us closer
As we run apart but your gravity’s greater. I fall backwards
But get back up to deny this fate; The constellations, my chains.
Don’t turn back to say sorry just shine like always
Because that’s how I know that you’re still okay.
Out of sight yet the force of gravity holds onto me. If I ever wait
I’ll sink into the depths of you my twin star. Is it already too late?
The colors of a gradient shift as they bleed from my heart.
Emotions silenced by the demons of who I couldn’t be.
They’ve returned stronger than ever before. To start
Anew I must dissolve all these colors that were never me.
By some chance the man you see won a game of survival,
No it was a race to ever be. We all got here by a little luck.
Watch the stars shine and follow your heart; don’t get stuck
Believing what others say. You’ll find a way, your reprisal.
I listened and fell down as the world kicked me in the stomach.
“I’m perfectly okay. It’s alright.” That’s the cry of a lost man!
Pushed myself further because I wanted to rise.
Bleeding my heart’s fill trying just to remember
That I’m stronger than this. On a cold December
Night I decided that giving up would be unwise.
Caught by the undertow of something larger than my existence
All I can do is swim back up. Every breath reminds us that hands
Are meant to be held not to hold grudges. We will never forget!
Never forget the human kindness that heals every wound made.
Fallen but not lost for I see the way. I can’t let myself just fade. . .
All these sundry lives lead the way back
To a land forgotten from current sight,
A home for each and every tear and smile lost
Along the way towards both growth and undoing.
The path remains shrouded in fog
As everyone finds a way to continue.
Nobody knows what awaits just ahead
But here we enter, here we shall tread.
Restless in our wake trying to redo
What we’ve messed up in life’s log.
Petrified by regrets eating away at the mind.
I rise up from that state of stasis to rewind.
But time never gives to force. The lost feelings
Make me feel so hollow inside. Fill me up,
A warmness I can’t replicate alone. Booze
Only masks the truth, I couldn’t lie to myself,
And now I wonder; where are you? Yes, I failed
Yet watch me get up and try. . .try to change.
Petrified by regrets eating away at the mind.
I rise up from that state of stasis to move on.
This sundry life of mine has never been okay
And that’s no excuse for running away in fear.
I knew that just I ran because I knew you’d stay
By my side. Love that will end in tragedy, dear.
Call me whatever, I accepted my curse and ran
Until your words could no longer haunt my sleep.
I need love but my fate will cause pain to anyone near.
I’m sorry I couldn’t say that then. I suffered every tear
Knowing it was better to be alone. We both weep
The end of a true love. If only I was a better man.
Time changes a lot. Eight years since that goodbye
And I can’t run from my heart anymore. I’ll die
Someday but today ain’t that day. Love wasn’t a lie.
I now see that life won’t always be clear or easy. We sometimes try helping
Others to end up hurting them due to a lack of compassion and understanding.
We must seek understanding not excuses, incitements, or selfishness.
What is this life? I’m moving forward
But every light on this road shines red.
I feel so broken inside and still I smile
As if I’m taunting a battle with myself.
Countless days haunted by my failure
At being useful to anyone or anything.
I swear that I’ll survive this storm.
There’s always a chance to redeem
Yourself no matter what you’ve done.
Find the warmth radiating from the Sun
It’ll lead the way. We all have steam
To blow but in time life will form.
Finding meaning in life can take a while.
Don’t dare to overthink your worth. Smile.
When does an existence take shape,
In procession or as the shadows fall?
This precarious reality lived in a hall
That stretches outward until the tape.
A quarantined zone awaits at the finish line.
Seeking answers to find more questions, the fine.
Cosmic epiphany like a comet coming back
As the harbinger of the unknown. A tail of ice,
Sparkling with starlight, awakens the dreamers
From their catered transcendental slumbering.
The probability makes all things beautiful.
Every variable plays a part in creating existence
And we are the scions of that accidental state.
Yeah, all I am is a blot of ink on a page.
Existence is an interaction not a state of being.
When these cards are played what are we seeing?
A game of consequence with no point in fleeing.
This is the shallow of eternity. We must wade further down river
If we want to understand more. One day we all will sink under
The water and fade away from our limited understanding.
To transition from the known to unknown is quite reprimanding;
Everything must be unlearned, abandoned. Your perspective a sliver
Caught in flesh that must be removed, forgotten, for the greater.
Just like a drug that only masks the pain
Your words are but a momentary haven.
“Save yourself and repeat your dressed up lie Until it becomes truth.” I tried to believe but,
My heart can’t be persuaded since that night.
When I saw the stars peeking through trees
I could feel something greater pulling my insides.
Does it feel that way for you? What is it that resides
In that heart of yours? Listen to me, he who frees
Himself will find out how lonely it can be in a crowd.
We’re waking from a dream to a nightmare. Proud?
I’ve been wandering until the day I fall to my knees.
Just like a drug that only masks the pain
Your words are but a momentary haven.
I’m trying to keep composure. Am I fighting or surrendering?
The life where I act as a knight despite my kingdom in ruins
Because I promised the King. I am sick and tired of this war!
We have the potential to love but all I ever seem to find is hate.
If I lose everything what will I do? End this war with my hands.
I’m avoiding violence and teaching love. I pray these many lands
Find peace before the monster within me awakens. Take my hands.
Just like a drug that only masks the pain
Your words are but a momentary haven.
I need your actions to solidify what I’m standing for. . .
The darkness and light, coiling serpents of fate
Will return. They’re looking for something to eat.
My heart, enriched by my passion, tempts their hunger.
I have watched my hopes get dashed and kept standing
In the wake of that aftermath. This garden reprimanding
Every belief I had leaving me so broken, to it I’m a danger.
A spark in the verdant growth of deceit and illusions
Leaving not but ash. The serpents tell me their ways,
Destruction or Reconstruction. I’m unsure what I feel.
I sling a bag over my shoulder, walk away from this Hell,
Choose to believe in myself. My heart escaped its shell
Due to the pressure building up. Yet the serpents follow
Closely, awaiting the day I’m no more than a swallow.
It’s kinda funny how the questions we ask don’t really end.
They just force us into moving on so these scars can mend.
Waiting on the day I can breathe once again.
Choked on the fumes of existence and dreams,
I can”t breathe the same air as long as I remain
Living. Every time I try all I can hear are screams.
Is that the imprint left from mankind,
An inability to accept falling behind?
The idea that a wall exists dictating productive
From obsolete. Life should never be quantified
Yet, I still find my own heart to be quite ineffective
When the truth is seen: We’re divided not unified.
Trying my best they dissect and analyze.
We’re no longer trying to relate anymore.
This predatory game played only hurts us.
Don’t betray another for the lies you’ve been fed
For this world has seen much despair in our stead.
These days I’ve seen doves become ravens
Yet the grace remains in their flight. Hunger,
The difference between the good and the evil.
I watch from afar as death and injustice
Rest atop the apex of this epoch as deities.
My hands appear bloody in my dreams.
Their deaths stain both the lost and silent.
My heart tries but will never be resilient.
I call it a curse because I’m fearful of the truth I see.
Anchor myself in truth though I speak in allusions
For it hurts my soul to know. The world has illusions
That I never make friends with. Castoff in the sea.
If I end up drowning in all the blood spilled by the avaricious
Know I have no regrets for I could never close my own eyes.
Vasha'Lakar 
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