Distant Skyline

I was told to listen to my heart whenever I find myself unsure.
Well I haven’t seen any certainty. This sickness with no cure.

The skies once held much better dreams and aspirations
Among wispy clouds. Silver linings, yeah, they fade away
When there’s no way to ever go back. Altitude unreachable,
At least for now I’m much too far from that calming skyline.
Evil exists even when people are blind. I couldn’t walk away.
A curse placed upon me will run its course. All I can ever do
Is fight against the fate I’ve been given. Is this my punishment?

Armies of the undead rise to meet me. Our endless war
Nothing more than a cry in the dark but we continue onward.
Dragged into these catacombs, forgotten; I still move forward
Chasing a distant skyline. Tell me this, how far is too far?

Something blocks the way back leaving me with one choice.
I must delve the dark if I want to never see memories erase.sa;bdry

The Defiled Heart

The darkness inside lashes at my memories
In an attempt to steal who I am. It’s the mark
Burned into my flesh awaking my inner demons.

My wrath, lust, and pride slithering under my skin;
A burn that never goes away. Will they ever win?
I swallow my unsettled doubts, like pills with gin.

We don’t choose the fights we’re tossed into. Survive,
That’s what our hearts scream. Is that why I still strive?

Dark and cold black flames judge my heart to a feather.
I failed. Know that I’m not giving in. There’s a day that
I gotta see with these eyes and feel with these hands.
My wretched fate repeats day by day yet, I smile.

They call me Ariex Nightblade. I watched wars,
Witnessed genocide, killed a friend; I left
The Royal Protectorate to heal these scars.
This curse I took on instead of being ever so bereft.

My brother Synji bears the other mark.
The endarkened; the illuminated.
We serve two roles in a grand tragedy.

I need to survive. . .reject fate ordained.

sa;bdry

The Grand Judge v. Desnei

A man who lost his life and turned into something called the Grand Judge had a very rough existence. He never knew his parents due to a terrorism attack at the hospital he was born. The government discarded him into an orphanage with no funding until a wealthy couple adopted him. They treated him more like a slave than a kid by never giving him an education.

Ultimately an elderly butler taught the kid to read. They spent hours talking about the glorious world out there. One day the adoptive father fired the man for what he did. The man asked to adopt the kid because this wasn’t right for them to do. After consideration he accepted the offer at a considerable monetary cost.

They walked across town to a house on the outskirts. He taught the kid a lot but his health kept declining. A sickness crept in and robbed the kind man of his life. Eventually the government took custody again sending him into the military as a child soldier. This one journey in life taught so much pain and hate to an already hurt human.

He hung himself. . .

Desnei met a lot of tragedy as well. He never took his own life but life tortured him in so many ways. Many of the events that lead Desnei into the darkest side of his world create the series Rise of the First Blight. He lives in a world created by the Grand Judge (after he lost his humanity by playing god for millions of years).

Desnei is the last hope for the Grand Judge to finally change his heart. . .


“Treacherous burner of the tapestry of fate,
I spent eons creating a perfect civilization
Where pain doesn’t exist. Only destruction
Followed their births. All the suffering I hate.

Why would you forsake my final grand plan?
With a single thought I could start over again.”

“What do you have to hate? The tears and blood
We spill have nothing to do with you. If your flood
Clears the slate we won’t vanish from where we stood.

Each civilization you destroyed remains within.
What are you running from? It cannot be us all.”

“I’m no god. I was just a man that gave up.
When I was given a choice I just ran far away
And the choice caught me. Given my wish
Because I must learn of something new.”

“Maybe that life isn’t something you can choose.
Life has been and will be. Are you afraid to lose?”

“I already lost. A cruel world where I didn’t belong
Lost me with a little rope. The world was so wrong.”

“I pity you. Did no one ever show you a little heart from the start?”

sa;bdry

Righteous & Blind (The Human Condition)

I cross a foggy valley full of forgotten terrors without fear.
Vines lace the cliffs; mindless beasts wander; the fog
Obscures my sight. Every breath lulls me toward madness
But I keep my feet moving. I selfishly cling to my own life.

When the path is unknown what else can be done?
Step by step, risk by risk; I’m striving to atone
For the promises I couldn’t keep. I’m not set in stone.

Terrible things lunge at me and I stay calm as I fight through.
Fear would leave me for dead like everyone who came before.
I won’t be another tombstone laid in the ground. If I wash ashore
From this Hell who would say that the sky will remain blue?

Everyone is familiar with gray clouds and stormy weather.
The sky remains blue behind all the curtains in the theater!

What does it matter where I’ve been? It’s about where I’m heading.
Every deep valley finds me blind as I reach for the memories,
A blue sky with clouds slowly drifting by. Nothing will ever stop me.

I’m one of the terrors that reside here. Selfishly reaching for the light
No matter the cost, chasing a dream that’s been so long out of sight.

Rayne’s Lamentation

I stand in the devastation wrought by conflict. The victors will someday say how they fought for some grand ideal and paved a way towards a better future. They will only speak a fable far away from truth. People died because of stubborn policies protected by stubborn men. What will I say to the youth about us survivors?
Whoever strikes first usually lives. Any hesitation will shatter your bones and collapse your innards. The ideals I stood behind vanished as blood and gore drained onto the ground. Nothing could save me from the nightmare. I changed into the person I loathed, a killer. We all did.
Everyone says I should lie to forget what happened. I can’t hide from what haunts me when it’s me. A darker side surfaced. He aimed sword strikes at chinks in armor and burned foes in magical flames. I watched in terror knowing that this was me. Why did I enjoy watching other humans bleed and their skin melt? I’m sick inside.
When backed into a corner humans fight. The stubborn foreign policies forced my men towards action. Our enemy followed a man who promised a return to their homeland while he chased another agenda for someone else’s policy. Neither side cared to fill in these discrepancies before raising their arms. We soaked the Earth in iron cold blood.
Most humans know they’ll escape war but I’m unlike them. I tried protecting a city by aligning it with my enemy no matter what the cost was. My friend, my soul, and my ideals have all been washed away by a dark tide. Beneath the depths I realize that I’ll never return to the light I once so cherished. In suspension the coming war cradles me within the darkness my soul once rejected. Will a light ever reach me here before the tendrils drag me further below?

darkness

Carrying A Small Candle In Somber

My moniker Desnei serves as an antithesis to disparity. I decided that I’d never accept myself standing apart from others and will cross the line when possible. I’m no traitor but a visionary who seeks the unity of all men. We all have a responsibility to our fellow men to stand together through tumultuous times. Such a movement crosses every boundary imagined, it’s something known as compassion.

Often I’ve forgotten what I keep struggling for. Where others see conflict I see an unfortunate consequence of despair. People have never been pawns in a game because they have real feelings. To teach others a different way has been a calling reverberating throughout my body. I know humanity will always hold a candle of hope as long as generous people try. The light will never die if I touch another heart with my simple compassion.

And this is why I write; to let the compassion spread like a wildfire across the Earth, stop the potential hatred that could fuel the sorrow conjuring a million tears, and to help those in need. It’s true I do write fantasy that can sometimes be dark but compassion remains fundamental. The dark stuff exists because compassion was lost leading a few astray. In reality some people face times where life can seem very dark and unforgiving but they can be saved from it. Just reach a hand out for every one who feels lost.

I imagined up a universe where the virtues of humanity are amplified. Emotions are the main foundation creating reality for my characters and they must face them. Slowly the characters realize their universe started from the sorrow a man faced and never could overcome. They must stand against his fallible nature to teach him what he never learned about life. Life might not be perfect but it’s beautiful.

One character finds himself working for assassins after a wealthy mayor steals the his family’s livelihood. He faces many tribulations on the road of his life after giving into his bitter feelings. The mayor knows he wronged many people but finds himself unable to stop because the wealth makes him feel important. When they meet again only one will be alive afterwards. This isn’t directly a story of compassion. This event of indifference marks when possessions possess a man. Why does that happen? The mayor never deeply understood human compassion when he was a child creating a void in his behavioral growth. He inevitably chased his greed to his own grave. Now a young man must face his inner turmoil while moving from a terrible past to an uncertain future.

Without looking too deep into the specifics their stories are easy to relate with. A good family facing rough times can often lead some members into making bad choices. Lack of love will lead some toward any unsavory sense of belonging through such as greed, lust, wrath, and so on. Sins can very accurately describe a person’s disposition when they have lost all sense of control. I believe the best way to counter that chaotic impulse is to show that there’s more than what has been seen. If only everyone could feel like they belong but in a world of nearly eight billion people some can feel isolated. Don’t let them if you can.

I understand this is a very lofty aim but I can believe in it. If the compassionate side of humanity shines brighter loneliness will be eradicated. Through kindness a dark fantasy universe can be saved. So why not this single planet? I truly think humans can do just that.

sa;bdry

A Wretched Tale: The Darkest Night

I grabbed the dual berettas and walked towards the beasts. They clawed at my face as I kicked them back. I crushed one of their necks with my foot. The dark blood oozed out from its mouth. More of those beasts raced towards me.

They pushed me down and gnashed at my flesh. The darkness in their making seeped into my veins. Memories from the souls obliterated by them clouded my thoughts. I screamed because I once knew those faces as friends.

My blood sloshed onto marble floor. The beasts carved to the bones in my limbs. They ignored the meat and reveled in my suffering. Oddly my thoughts weren’t on saving my life but the absurdities in this life.

Fear chained me from ever taking action. I never trusted anyone because they could hurt me. They weren’t these demons but they scared me to the core. What if I failed them? They’d abandon me without a second thought. All those frightened souls looking for a reason to stay.

We walked away from each other. When the demons arrived we ran from our friends in need. The concept of survival destroyed everything we created together with a single strike. I stubbornly accepted that as the only way but they needed me. What good is living if you’re alone?

I never meant for the love we shared to someday die. This tragedy stoked the dying fire left in our memories. I grabbed one of the demons and tossed it against a wall. My arms trembled from the pain but I used the berettas tearing a way through the pack.

They watched me and slowly advanced. Their warfare tactics pushed me into a corner where I propped me body up. I unloaded on their front line, propelled myself through the formation, chomped on one of their necks and drank the demon’s blood, and suddenly my vision went black. . .

My body banished my mind from control. I joked around with my thoughts during the whole entire time. I shunned myself for drinking tainted blood but knew I would’ve died if I didn’t. The selfish nature I succumbed to will bring its tolls until I’m dead from the weight I carry.

I forced my eyes open to see the horror. Dark blood healed my wounds, my hands grew claws, and I spoke in their tongue. The demons laid decapitated around me and their blood formed a design, a circle split into fourths. Unable to move myself I loosened my grip on my humanity.

Who are you? I am you. The blood holds the memories of others and the demon. When you drank it you accepted us. We are you now. What are you doing? You need to regain control and assume your human form. You’ll die if the demon blood takes over. And how does this fix that? Blood purifying. The afflicted blood makes the symbol, to the left humanity stands, demons haunt the right, and the accumulation of dreams leads the way. Essentially we’ll sacrifice a human, a demon, and a Mistkin for you to live. I DON’T WANT THAT!!! You don’t have a choice, live on for us who reside within. The demon’s chains shattered and our memories don’t want us to die again. Please.

Three near dying beings stood in the circle with me. My demon blood started flowing out of my eyes. The demon and human evaporated into spheres of light cleansing the dark blood. I dropped to my knees because of immense pain. I watched the Mistkin be drained of his blood to save me from blood loss. He absorbed the cleansed blood until the ritual finished. He changed into a being of pure light that spoke.

“Ah, you are the one. The true sinner who stays alive to defend the holy radiance. Born of humanity and bathed in evil. You’ve seen the light from the darkness. A knowledge forbidden because few man are worthy of the sacrifice. To always see the radiance but never reach it. And what is your name Lightbringer?”

“Shadow, a moniker because the real name has been lost.”

The Faded Guardian

In the world of the Rise of the First Blight feelings can manifest reality. The concept would be like an object casting a shadow and the shadow’s distortion changing the space around the object. One manifestation can be called the Fade. It’s a place for those who give up on believing things will ever change.

They can escape the place if they overcome their hopelessness. The emotion manifests itself as giant guards who protect a device used for going back. If the people didn’t want a reason for not  returning the guards wouldn’t exist. . .all except one.

This man is a symbol of despair. He lived to help others and learned about life but nothing prepared him for the truth. His respect for others took a hard hit when his hero displayed true colors. The fallen hero told him:

“We all put on a show to protect our prosperity. This success wouldn’t exist without others suffering. So don’t act all stoic, you’re a fake like me.”

The young man refused that. He learned there was truth in his fallen hero’s words but decided there must be another answer. Eventually the man is no longer young and he’s dying. Tears raced down his wrinkled cheeks as he tells his grandson something he spent his life searching for. The truth:

Standing amid light and cheer but darkness grabs
Hold of me. I haven’t seen much just enough
For my heart to never recover. The truth stabs
Me in the gut again and again. It’s rough.

I set off in search of knowledge. Got what I wanted,
It wasn’t what I needed. Fall from hunter to hunted.

What did I find? A well of hope feeding on blood,
The antithesis of everything I’ve been taught –
How naive can I be? What we have wrought
Has become an abomination. Pull down my hood.

To die or to walk. The truth is a scary demon
Clawing at my throat. I look away. I have to.
If I fight what’s in front I’ll never see daylight
Until my last shallow breath releases CO2 in the air.

So I pull down my hood. I’ve seen true despair
And know I’m a shadow to others. A great blight,
Something you face but wish you never had to.

Silence and a stern gaze, “I’m still aware of the good humanity can mend.
For there’s even a light within thee old Garden of Sin that I should defend.”

The Heart of the Drageci

Solomon watches the time slip away
From his hands. The tears they flood
And he dreams of drowning in them.

One day a strange, cloaked woman
Finds herself chased by angry men.
Rattled by his thoughts he watches
In horror as they drag her into an alley.

He knows he has to help but his body won’t listen.
Blood oozes from the alley with a strange glisten.

The woman returns and stares at Solomon
Who backs up. She reveals to him her face.
“The Heart of Drageci shines like the Sun
In you. They made you the king of our race.”

“King? I have nothing near nobility in my blood.
Go find yourself another murderous psychopath
To play this game with.” “You killed an entire race.”
“By loving someone far too much.” “Love exists.
You just didn’t know what that ring was and paid
In a way steeper than the Mistwalkers. I’m sorry.”

“So what is that Heart of Drageci? I’m curious.”
“A seven chamber heart. Four for your blood
And three for the Mists. We are of their brood,
The Mistwalkers bred with humans.” “Delirious.”

“Maybe but I’ll be by your side always, my king.”
“Great. . .I attract crazy.” And thus the bells ring
For the day fate comes by yet no angels will sing.
sa;bdry

Eye to Eye with the Darkness

These days I’ve seen doves become ravens
Yet the grace remains in their flight. Hunger,
The difference between the good and the evil.

I watch from afar as death and injustice
Rest atop the apex of this epoch as deities.
My hands appear bloody in my dreams.

Their deaths stain both the lost and silent.
My heart tries but will never be resilient.

I call it a curse because I’m fearful of the truth I see.
Anchor myself in truth though I speak in allusions
For it hurts my soul to know. The world has illusions
That I never make friends with. Castoff in the sea.

If I end up drowning in all the blood spilled by the avaricious
Know I have no regrets for I could never close my own eyes.
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