The Reason / Remembrance

I remember you. The only words I can find since you left this world. Many details about you I will never know but, what I do know is the kindness you showed to me. You spoke about God often. The days we’d spend talking about Heaven being a grand tavern hosting an eternal festival. You gave the sunshine a purpose as a blessing light. I feel blessed by the light even now.

Can you feel your kindness carry on inside of me? I’ll give it to others like you did for me. If the world uses kindness then everyone might one day be blessed by the sunshine you showed me. Others don’t understand why I live the way I do. I know you wouldn’t question or disrespect my life choices.

They can think whatever they want as long as I keep going with a smile. When the going gets tough I get tougher but not until then. Preparing for the inevitable will never be my way to live because I understand life. Thank you for giving me the light I needed on the inside.

Let me be the radiance of God’s love. Maybe not the god you knew but the combined existence of everything. I’ll radiate the kindness you, a shard of God, taught me.
sa;bdry

Scarlet and Cyan Lines

Scarlet lines decorating the marble floor
When the eyes come out, the blind kin.
What they’ll tell you is naught but sin
Disguised. Just show them the door.

If you listen you’ll die before God comes
To rip every sinful fiber from your damned body.

What remains? Are you nothing but darkness?
Shadows casting where the throne sits;
Your heart of thorns must burn and to ash!
I called you a friend but you never could be.
You could never be me. The truth will slash
Through every lie ever made. Take hits
Until you feel fear inside absolute hopelessness.

But truthfully there is just us. God and the Devil
Get you second after me. Every lie you speak
Condemns you. Others will let you be. Not I.
Who told you it was alright to hurt others?
Not any god, not any man with a good heart;
By listening to the teachings of bad, evil men.
How could you have known what evil was
When evil is the norm? Greed is the true sin.

Please take what you need and stop, moderation.
We will find ourselves cleaner at the destination.

An army doesn’t scare me. Fill me with lead
If you must but more will rise to rebel. Eternal
Radiance will break through these long shadows.

Cyan lines trail down the cheeks of the loving kind
Who still believe in Humanity. We never fall behind,
We help those in need, we sacrifice our lives
For others, and we care. So put down the knives.

I’ll step in when you can no longer back down. . .
51464-national-honor-society-quotes

At The Mercy of Fate

Across the shatter sky I saw
A burst of light. I knew it was you.
The warmth inside found a chill
That only you could conjure up.

Today I know you’re safe and
Tomorrow I’ll await a sign.
How will you tell me? I wonder.
Hope drives me on as it dwindles.
Eternally I fall for your soft words,
Ephemeral kisses I wish to taste.

Monumental display of compassion
Materializing from my own sacrifice.
Eyes tell about the true love we seek
Endlessly. We are torn. Tell me are you
Ready? To wrought a path from thorns.
Requiem of the Heart: Your cute smile
Creates a lightness I was always without.
Centuries of choices led to us standing here
Yelling our hearts into the open air.
Years will go by and we will grow together.

Obsolete hands interwoven. Know that I will
Fight to hold on to this love, our city on a hill.

Fires still rage deep inside
After the first time we kissed.
Take me from where I hide,
Enter the world I have missed.
heart-on-fire

The Selfish Bastard I Am

Walk back down the road, tell me that
And I’ll do it. Here I stand with myself
Believing I will always prevail. A shelf
Isn’t the place for a life, but why this hate?

Did I not always have my lofty, unrealistic aims?
I tried living without them and felt dead. I’m sorry.

If everything came to a choice;
Could you accept what I decide?
I’d set off seeking more in this life
Unaware of what’s in front of me.
I’m blind to the simple things,
Left stumbling into the unknown.

Where did I go wrong? Rejoice,
I’ll walk without thoughts of suicide
Chaffing my ankles. Take a knife
And snap the binds. Are we the same?
The pain returns and stings
Like a fresh wound unknown.

I should’ve said the truth; my world is full of suffering
And I’m trying my best to carry on. I find me stuttering
When talking you. I want to shelter you from my differing
Point of view because the night is eternal with no returning.

And here you remain like a stain I can’t wash out.
Will you be the rain and clean the heart I cannot.


“Maybe I’m being selfish. We are going through our own suffering that shakes our foundations. I’m trying to drown out of my pain and see you clearly. These visions of scarlet and cyan lead me away from the truth. Tripping over myself when I run to you. Selfish are my ways but you make me want to be better. I’ll learn from these shortcomings and become the man you always deserved. In the end this love may come undone and I accept that the best I can, yet; I continue forward with the teaching life gives.”

A Small Black Bow

The Autumn night chilling me to my bone
But I turn to see her sleeping in the back.

“This world ain’t ordinary. When an angel
Rests in a car, I smoke away this chilly night,
And the airwaves are full of meaningless chatter.”

I put out the cigarette then roll up the window.
From the mirror hangs a small black bow.

I take it down and smile slightly. Last Christmas,
She gave me just this. What she told me remains
Carved into my being. “The words you write, the rains
Of Spring; both make nothing into something gorgeous.”

A reoccurring dream where I seek understanding
And wish we could leave our suffering behind.
Wishing that I could find a way to be your king,
My queen. The little dream serves to remind:

This beating heart of mine seeks the warmness
I find with you near. Searching for your tenderness.
heart-on-fire

The Lotuses of Hades

Where are you? When the world burns
Your tender flesh. Still the world turns
And we move along chasing these Suns.

Caught in a facade, spiraling illusion,
Where memories fade. The waters of Lethe
Can’t compare to what we drink. Heavy
Is the burden as we give into erosion.

Yeah, cruelty and sorrow exist
But I’m begging you to resist.

I’ve spent my time in the rivers of Hades,
Steams of consciousness, to ponder life.
The truth I found haunts me like a ghost
In the dark. Nothing safe, nothing right;
Cerberus’s teeth ripping flesh from bone.

Five rivers – I will descend into darkness once again
If you ever lose your way home, the love we retain.
heart-on-fire

Timelines, Pathways of the Heart

Across the strings of time memories are knots
That come undone. Prove to me you’ll remain
When the start and the end are pulled. A stain
Of red wine on white silk where the string rots.

Electrical waves, your heart beat echoing
In my eardrums a reverberation. Oh, sing.

Eternalize my gaze with a knife of romance;
Touch the point to my iris and tell me the truth.
Come or go, we come undone in unusual ways
Leaving a fissure. Hey, don’t worry my friend,
This is room to grow. Break these ancient chains
To a beast within beyond the Gardens of Babylon.

Shatter the cross-hair and push me back
Along the timeline that brought me here.
I hold to the love inside though I lack
Much strength. I’ll wipe away every tear.

Right or wrong? That isn’t what brought us together.
A string of choices led us near each other. When I saw
You suffering alone I chose to hold you as you tremble.
3d-graphics_lines_of_light_027829_

Finding the Words to Say

Where did the Summer blue
Drift off to, when the birds flew?

I can’t say I know anymore.
That’s the reason for my tears
Falling onto my cheeks. I’m sore
From all the rust on my gears.

Something changed deep inside my heart.
It feels like a darkness, the shadow
Of yesterday casting onto a blank wall,
And the memories go cold. Fear,
A demon tasting the wealth of blood
Pooling in these forgotten chambers.

Did I forget to say goodbye again?
In truth we both wait for the rain.

What have you lost? I should ask
Yet the distance feels great.
Would tomorrow be too late?
Helplessly watching day turn to dusk.

As the first star shines through the veil
Of night I’ll be thinking about this little tale.

dusk_forest_by_sclarke1991-d63rnsa
By Sclarke1991

The Fleeting Dream

The steady frequency at which a heart beats
Stands out. What truth remains without
It? Dead silence. I set and aim the sight.
A quaint calmness that eventually retreats.

Pull the trigger and set the path,
We undoubtedly enter the water
Where sound and breath vanish.
Lay to rest the yearning inside.
In a hollow cavity tuck away
From the harsh weather outside
A single reminder aches endlessly.
Life is but a fleeting dream.

Will you please reach your hand up to the stars,
Don’t be afraid. Our bodies are ridden with scars.

The words shatter through the barrier between you and I.
When the day is split by the colors in the sky
Do you feel ashamed? No, so lets find a place for us to lay.
sa;bdry

Of These Passing Stars; Part VII

Ariex, have you known all along? The demons of this world don’t have horns. They walk beside us unto the sound of creation, destruction, and resurrection. I was an idiot to think that the sides are so easily divided. The two marks have taught me that we are wrong. But my duty remains the same. And you will need to follow your own duty.

My body can’t handle both the darkness and the light. You’ll know what we should do but I can’t give you my burden. We’d be playing right into their hands and our suffering won’t end with death. Who are they? Who made these monsters both human and not? Two brothers recreated among creation endlessly to guide everything. A differing point of view created a war that has no victor in sight. Futility is in our nature yet we succeed.

We started as kids running on meadows of grass. Those days we believed in adventure and fun. Tragedy haunted on the outskirts of our Eden like a serpent. He watched us grow from children into men. We walked separate paths and met him along the way. My heart poisoned when everything came crashing down. The tragedy of laying your love to rest. And the darkness I found myself in blinded me from Ariex’s darkness.

He abandoned the Royal Protectorate. An order made him question his humanity. The High General decided to execute unaligned Mist Alchemists in Southern Dragacia. He saw a kid lose his father because no one would help. Orders are orders. Ariex repeated that a lot to justify the past. On different paths we sat there and stared at nothing for months. We lost sight of the endless blue skies of our Eden.

I grab a corner of a stone wall. The memories stimulate the marks making my blood feel like it’s boiling. I try clearing my mind to no avail. I begin inching my way towards where Ariex will be waiting. The guards and the people laugh at me like some drunk. Tears roll down my cheeks but I keep moving.

Suddenly I lose my balance then fall on my back. I gasp out air and gaze at the cloudy sky concealing the Sun. A desire to give up washes over me. I shakily reach my hand out towards the sky. Someone gently grabs my hand. The warmth of this person keeps the doubts at bay long enough for me to get on my feet. The person laughs at me but never turns to face me.

“Synji, you idiot, did you really let yourself get cursed again? What would our parents say? We only have one choice if you don’t want to die.” Ariex’s deep voice carries a sense of rationality.

“Well Raejak and you agree I’m an idiot. Thanks! Asshole. And do you mean we should do an absolution? You know that only makes things worse. An Endarkened and an Envoy of the Mists? Are you flipping insane? The tale of Karthentrex and Pan should tell you how terrible of an option this is.”

“And you think dying will be better? The curses will dissolve whatever remains of you. If you live that is more time to change fate. Choose against life and you never existed at all. You can’t leave me all alone. I know this choice will condemn many to pain but they’ll survive because that’s what we know to do. Survival is a part of human nature.”

“This is from the person who also says that laziness is a part of human nature.”

“I’m not going to waste energy on barely surviving. We have minds so use them. When survival is easy and we can relax then we can learn. I learned that an absolution blends the existences of the two participants. We’ll know everything about each other even the things we don’t want to. The only thing is that the hearts must be aligned. Do we truly do this just to save you?”

“No. My life isn’t worth that much to me. We do this with the intention of reversing fate. Too many people accept what they’re given. Screw everything and we will rise.”

“That’s my brother! By the light granted through Karthentrex’s knowledge and the darkness created with Pan’s death the tree of chaos arose. The choice to mend the Universe tree was made when nothing should be allowed to live. If they had walked away everything would have faded. A Universe sentenced to deletion that refused its fate. We are the children of a forbidden plane.” Ariex grabs my hand creating a powerful light in our palms.

A warmth washes over the coldness of my heart. The clouds above start swirling and create an opening for the Sun. Light focuses on my chest where the Mark of the First Blight rests. Painfully the light burns away every trace of the curse. No one else sees the absolution because the residents of this city are blind to the Mists. But the High General watches from the castle and knows who is responsible. The light from the Sun turns dark with the curse.

Something keeps the light from finishing the absolution. My memories of the Endarkened emerge in the city. Three portals appear above the city. An eye, a staff, and a gavel come forth. They judge our worth. A arrow flies from where the High General is and pierces the eye. Raejak comes from nowhere and closes the portals with some complex Mist Alchemy.

“You have no power here Grand Judge. The eye is blind. Go back to the Stones of Fate because someday even you will fall. I’m sorry. You will not erase another Universe because it wasn’t perfect. Let these two be free from your judgment. We might be damned but there is still hope. I, Raejak, will atone if we fail. These are my conditions.”

“This is Raejak? You’ll be a great pawn in the End. Your belief in hope will diminish in the future. The Stones of Fate only says that I’m more sorry than you. I’ve forgotten so much but I feel like I must erase your Universe. You all remind me about something I hate. Rintaen made a similar bet with me. I accepted his because I wanted this to be entertaining. I’ll accept yours because this is my only way to win. You can’t deny fate.”

Everything returns to normal. The Mark of the First Blight rests on its new bearer. Ariex and myself stare at each other. He touches the mark and winces from pain. I pat his back. We look up at the still cloudy sky. Randomly another arrow with a letter zips by into the stone wall. I open the letter and find detail orders for Ariex and myself.

Ariex grabs the letter from my hands. He starts laughing then hands it to Raejak. Strangers give us very frightened glances. I sit down and rest my head in my hands. Raejak tears up the letter, they both sit next to me, and we stare at the castle.

“We aren’t allowed to ever return. Our last mission for the Royal Protectorate has begun. Can someone tell me what the fuck just happened?” Ariex asks with some unease.

“First, we made a deal with something from the Mists. The Grand Judge was unexpected. I was briefed by the High General on the chance of failure. If we didn’t make a deal the First Blight would start and we’d be unable to stop it.

Second, the orders are the true objective of the Royal Protectorate. Have fun fishing for the next two years Ariex. Be sure when you meet the kid you don’t kill him. He is a good kid just the hate he has for the Royal Protectorate makes you the best candidate. You only need to bring him to the Devil Straits in Aldrassil. After that the dominoes will fall.

Third, Synji and myself need to destroy the home of the Endarkened. The Gorundin Mountains have a huge secret that we’ll unravel. If we are successful the world will have more hope. We all may end up being despised by history though. We are knowingly creating a disastrous future that will undo everything the Grand Judge hopes to accomplish.”

We look back up to the sky. The clouds are clearing up. Perhaps a city divided but at this moment it’s beautiful. The people living their lives unaware of the scary truth. Us three must protect all of this because although they may be wrong they’re happy. Whatever may come I’ll do my best to live and protect this city divided.

sa;bdry