Tag: Existence

The Selfish Bastard I Am

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Walk back down the road, tell me that
And I’ll do it. Here I stand with myself
Believing I will always prevail. A shelf
Isn’t the place for a life, but why this hate?

Did I not always have my lofty, unrealistic aims?
I tried living without them and felt dead. I’m sorry.

If everything came to a choice;
Could you accept what I decide?
I’d set off seeking more in this life
Unaware of what’s in front of me.
I’m blind to the simple things,
Left stumbling into the unknown.

Where did I go wrong? Rejoice,
I’ll walk without thoughts of suicide
Chaffing my ankles. Take a knife
And snap the binds. Are we the same?
The pain returns and stings
Like a fresh wound unknown.

I should’ve said the truth; my world is full of suffering
And I’m trying my best to carry on. I find me stuttering
When talking you. I want to shelter you from my differing
Point of view because the night is eternal with no returning.

And here you remain like a stain I can’t wash out.
Will you be the rain and clean the heart I cannot.

“Maybe I’m being selfish. We are going through our own suffering that shakes our foundations. I’m trying to drown out of my pain and see you clearly. These visions of scarlet and cyan lead me away from the truth. Tripping over myself when I run to you. Selfish are my ways but you make me want to be better. I’ll learn from these shortcomings and become the man you always deserved. In the end this love may come undone and I accept that the best I can, yet; I continue forward with the teaching life gives.”

The Primal Truth

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

The forest holds something I try
To forget. I know others will pry
And discover what makes me cry.

Watching civilization blossom on Earth;
Different ideology, same methodology.
I seek peace and that’s why I took a walk
Into the forest. Early in the cool morning
When the light starts bending through
I set off with no true destination just to go.

An animal that is afraid to be free and in chains
Must tread through these many existential rains.

Would I find solace in a palace?
Would I find happiness in silence?
Would I find myself in my decadence?

“Erase what I’ve seen it burns deeply inside.
I see the kindness and the numbness reside
In many hearts. But I feel like I need to make
A choice between change and what’s at stake.”

The forest holds onto the truth
That wants to be remembered:
Life remains when society falls.
falcon

Lost in the Sea of Self

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Slumbering memories sinking under
The waves of existence. When I awake
Will anything remain of what I knew?

A canvas bleeding light and darkness
Until every inch is changed. Calmness
Washes over as I remember tenderness
I could never find but it rests in nothingness.

From the Sea of Self new life will awaken.
I’m but a single thread caught between.

Walking through the lonesome shallows
Where shadows haunt. I feel my heart race
As they remember something that we erase
Along the way. They ready the gallows.

Screaming, lashing; I’m dragged before the noose.
A rope made of the falsities my memories release
Dangles from the smog in the air. Of all the things
Given and taken by me the sentence seems right
For a thief. On the platform a lonely crow sings
Like a tragic form of catharsis. The rope is loose
And I look around to see no one. I hear a noise.

A great storm roars from not far. Nowhere to run
I fall on my knees and tears crash straight down.

“When everything comes undone will you stand or run?”
sa;bdry

Learning to Relax

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

A grand circus, the dark home of the Liar King,
Thriving like a parasite on the last lights of Eden.
The jesters dancing around primordial flames
But in their eyes is death. And he who tames
Lions has no control over their hunger. Laden
Truth with frightful joys and let humanity sing.

Lights shining on the horizon of the night sky
Tempting pure hearts that have been wading in sludge.
With rain the blood and lust overflow from cisterns
Into the wound of existence, infection of innocence.

Would you run to safety if only you could?

Fleeing into the brier coffin of tears never shed
By men too dark to be saved. The flood erased
Much of what couldn’t grow in the Sun. Were you led
Towards the light or a lie deep inside your head?

If we’d question the truth we’ll find cracks.
Observation and salvation, a petri dish
Growing a colony of lies. Still we wish
To be worthy. How rusted are these tracks?

Continually dragging corpses across the border
Between right and wrong as we try to find order.

I can’t say I really care about that balance.
It’s hard to dream when we can’t ever agree
On what it means to be alive. Does a tree
Forsake itself for growing? Cast a glance:

The Earth is slowly revolving
And on it life remains evolving.
sa;bdry

The Lotuses of Hades

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Where are you? When the world burns
Your tender flesh. Still the world turns
And we move along chasing these Suns.

Caught in a facade, spiraling illusion,
Where memories fade. The waters of Lethe
Can’t compare to what we drink. Heavy
Is the burden as we give into erosion.

Yeah, cruelty and sorrow exist
But I’m begging you to resist.

I’ve spent my time in the rivers of Hades,
Steams of consciousness, to ponder life.
The truth I found haunts me like a ghost
In the dark. Nothing safe, nothing right;
Cerberus’s teeth ripping flesh from bone.

Five rivers – I will descend into darkness once again
If you ever lose your way home, the love we retain.
heart-on-fire

Timelines, Pathways of the Heart

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Across the strings of time memories are knots
That come undone. Prove to me you’ll remain
When the start and the end are pulled. A stain
Of red wine on white silk where the string rots.

Electrical waves, your heart beat echoing
In my eardrums a reverberation. Oh, sing.

Eternalize my gaze with a knife of romance;
Touch the point to my iris and tell me the truth.
Come or go, we come undone in unusual ways
Leaving a fissure. Hey, don’t worry my friend,
This is room to grow. Break these ancient chains
To a beast within beyond the Gardens of Babylon.

Shatter the cross-hair and push me back
Along the timeline that brought me here.
I hold to the love inside though I lack
Much strength. I’ll wipe away every tear.

Right or wrong? That isn’t what brought us together.
A string of choices led us near each other. When I saw
You suffering alone I chose to hold you as you tremble.
3d-graphics_lines_of_light_027829_

Hydraxus Esi Derum / Hydrogen Delirium

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Explosive vindication in the dark;
Sent to thrive on limited energy,
A death sentence. Write an elegy
Little birds flying in reality stark.
What you’ll never know refugee
About the world is lost in a reverie.
Find your way and disembark.

Standing in starlight you’ll be coy
But from that illumination comes joy.

The movement of photons from immense explosions
Bringing life to fertile ground. Toxic concentration,
Everything is set to pass away but the dawn is here.
How long will this cosmic play last? All the players
Abandoned the script in a justifiable madness.
Who was here to watch? Not a soul in the audience
Hearing the asides within this cave of illusions.

Hydraxus esi derum. Prophets seeing visions
In the scrying pool of elements. Hark to the truth
Aringing around thy self, gaze through the keyhole
Because the key’s lost. If you found your soul
Made of hydrogen would you burn? Of couth
And understanding we might make revisions.

Offered eternity or an eternal sacrifice,
It’s up in the air and so are the dice.
54aa7a83afd0515f6dab3a3bc97121b8

Relativity of the Endless Sea

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Swirling miasma settles down. The heaviness
Of polluted air clinging to biological receptors
And poisoning cells. Natural and artificial vectors
Forming strings of data open for human analysis.

Lines open for division; the way forward
Mapped out in detonating constellations
To guide everything towards the end.
Searching for angels Heaven sent
But only finding people here.
Inertia runs out and expansion ends,
The story comes to its ending.
A Universe given set
Time must
End.

We mend the threads of an imperfect reality
Because life never lasts for an eternity.

Or maybe that is just what we want to tell
Ourselves. The endless ocean of space
Full of the unknown, beasts that have fell
From our understanding for now. A race
To finally drink from the primordial well.

The gift to explore a biological library.
What could life be if lead by a visionary
Who sees the potential not the diversionary?
universeend2_web_1024

To Light Up the Dark

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Sunder the daylight breaking through a window.
A distraction of light kisses this naked skin
Giving rise to a vivid, desperate hallucination.
Captured by the intangible hands of tomorrow.

Scream to let out the carbon dioxide that gathers inside,
The reality has shifted among the parallel lines of time.

Untold legends, unseen history, unforgettable life;
Sold your heart between what’s disreputable
And accepted. The light bends to be received.
Everything comes undone on the molecular level
As the choice to walk or stop comes on by.

What truth remains on the path paved in perspective?
A tricky deceit like a blank receipt leaves life unseen.
The darkness, lack of evolution, will always paralyze
Those who never adapt. Light it up with what’s between
These two hemispheres. This all might be subjective.

I’m drifting among the dust of dead stars seeking gravity,
A fiery birth of light to pierce the dark and grant amnesty.
space-purple-nebula-1

The Fleeting Dream

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

The steady frequency at which a heart beats
Stands out. What truth remains without
It? Dead silence. I set and aim the sight.
A quaint calmness that eventually retreats.

Pull the trigger and set the path,
We undoubtedly enter the water
Where sound and breath vanish.
Lay to rest the yearning inside.
In a hollow cavity tuck away
From the harsh weather outside
A single reminder aches endlessly.
Life is but a fleeting dream.

Will you please reach your hand up to the stars,
Don’t be afraid. Our bodies are ridden with scars.

The words shatter through the barrier between you and I.
When the day is split by the colors in the sky
Do you feel ashamed? No, so lets find a place for us to lay.
sa;bdry