Of These Passing Stars; Part VI

“The experiments conclude that there is no easy way to balance the two energies within you. We really should find an alchemist with the knowledge about the Marks of the Forsaken Brothers. More specifically we are after disciples of Pan and Karthentrex. The intelligence branch sent me details on a lead north of Dragacia. Do you have anything left to do in the capital?” the doctor taps his foot and anxiously glances at the door.

“One thing. This needs to be off the records though. My sources spotted Ariex, my brother, and arranged a meeting. He worked with alchemists of the sect we need. If you want I can go by myself.”

“No. My duty is to watch you . Even if we raided a garrison I’d have to be your accomplice because the High General hates loose ends. Screw him but I have my orders.”

“Damn. I’ll be ready in a second Raejak just get the one device I’ve seen you used to sneak out.”

“I know not what you speak about Synji. I’m a good medical doctor of the Royal Protectorate who respects the Mist Ban.”
“And we totally aren’t the only regiment who uses Mist Alchemists. The taboo is stupid and everyone knows that. Society uses the alchemists unjustly to hide the true issues we face. My brother left the Royal Protectorate for that reason. I envy his strength for walking away from what’s wrong.”

Raejak tosses his arms up then walks into the other room. A few books fall to the ground. He curses the realm of physics for scheming against him since the day he learned about the Mists. He tosses a little metal orb with engravings all over its surface. I glance at the surface and realize there is a map of the capital on it.

“Synji where do we need to head? Also grab my shirt because I don’t think you’ll want to walk there.”

“District Nine.”

He turns the orb until he finds the place. A ray of light emerges from a hole and touches Raejak’s eye. The light thickens up until his eye can’t be seen. Suddenly light rays shoot off from the first one then crisscrosses around Raejak and me. I get all dizzy but hold tightly to Raejak’s sleeve like an anchor.

We appear in a filling bathtub with two naked men in it. Me and Raejak stare at each other for a few seconds. One of the men gets all angry while the other hides his junk with his hand. We start laughing uncontrollably. The angry man punches Raejak in the face making him fall out of the tub.

I get out and grab Raejak by the leg then pull him to the door. The two men keep watching us. We both put our index fingers over our mouths and shush them. When we get out of their house we begin laughing again. Strangers give us mean glances. Raejak finally stands up and I pat his back.

“The town never changes. We get looked at like some disreputable vagabonds. Decades of isolationism but society is the same. It is a wondrous quandary!” exclaims Raejak.

“Raejak, shut up. These people have been controlled by things they barely question. We have competitive sports, competitive politics, competitive jobs, competitive beliefs, and competitive everything. They wouldn’t realize equality and respect if they slapped them in the face.” I grab a cigarette and light it.

“What’s your proof?”

“Look over there. A crime scene where someone got shot. There is an angry crowd standing over there blaming injustice. It isn’t that and they should know that. History says there was a time when people didn’t even have to mass together to express how they felt. We have lived in the same world for centuries. They have much to be happy about but no they all want to extrapolate the situation for their egos. Kind of tragic if you ask me.” I puff out a cloud of smoke.

“You have a point. I just wonder how others see it. Do they truly believe they’re right or were they never taught to think? Education is the first step towards leading a better life. The education system keeps getting worse. Less free thinking and more memorization. All the schools do is perpetuate the problems. Some good teachers still try but the majority just do what they’re told. When in war for us soldiers we must follow our general’s orders no matter what. If we don’t we are labeled deserters. And if we follow the orders and it creates a travesty we’re labeled tyrants. Both things are wrong but society gets to dictate what’s right or wrong.”

“People need to just walk away. Follow your heart and if you’re wrong accept it then move on. And if it gets too hard take a nap. Everything will be better when you awake.”

“I’m not sure laziness is what we need.”

“Would you rather be a lazy bum or someone who only does what he is told?”

“Valid point King of Sloth. Well go find your brother I’m going to drink this bottle of wine and take a nap. Use the code phrase to wake me up.”

“What code!?!”

“The High General’s wife is a slut.”

“Really? That’s the code? Fine! Just don’t go into the brothel because I’m not pulling you out of that diseased cesspool.”

“Probably was caused by the High General’s wife.”

“You don’t like him do you?”

“Fuck you. Go talk to Ariex and remember the code. It’ll save your life.”

sa;bdry

The Serenade of Falling Leaves

Cool air in my lungs again.
A numbness over the stain
On a heart soaking in the rain,
Lacking any way to explain.
 
Look beneath the dying leaves and check
My breathing. Will I leave or stay here?
The tragedies of this world create fear
But they don’t define the end. “Wait a sec.”
 
Wet decaying plant matter stinks the same
Like when I was younger. We got caught
By an invisible hand dousing the weak flame.
Turn the page with what we were taught.
 
Burn brightest in the darkest of circumstances.
Stand. There will be many questions and stances.

walk-in-the-fog
The light within will illuminate the way. . .

A Desertside Tragedy

The desiccation of our race
Comes at our hands. Scripture
Written in blood. Left in terror
Everyone drowns in silence.

We were dancing along to the currency
Love affair unaware of this life. The day
Came for the curtains to draw at last.
When it did a grand tragedy played out.

Walking hand in hand? The reality known
Had nothing but lies woven into a crown.

I seek a resolution to this dissolution,
The technicality in turning back time.
Nothing can reverse a bullet in flight
But you knew that. What’s the crime
For holding on? It’s your one true right.
Hold onto the beautiful things in your day
That will always and forever light your way.
Listen not to the words others might say.
If they walk away find some shade to lay.

A true tragedy takes willing participants
Who let emotion win. I know we have wants
And our hearts burn but open your eyes.
The world is changing under blue skies.

If you sink you’ll drown. Take my hand,
We need to get away! They chase
Us down even if across foreign land.
In time these tragedies might erase.

Our choices they differ but we’re family.
Humanity is a family so hurting is silly.

sa;bdry
MAJI ~ People who care just because it’s the right thing to do.

The Wound of Time

One, two, three; the Universe moves forward
Across what is perceived as eternity. Where
Does one find their place in this race? I swear
I’m nowhere at all and sinking into what I feared.

“Look up.” Two words keeping me afloat
In this ocean of space and time. It may be cold
Within me but I’ll always offer this old coat.

Those words somehow warm me up still.
Perhaps every heart has cracks to fill.

A wound there since forever. Someday it heals
Leaving you somewhere new. Somewhere
Where happiness is. A beach covered in shells
And a gentle tide washing the bright shore.

Where do I belong? Tell me the choice is mine
But understand this. . .I don’t want to be alone.

Sit with me in the wound of time. Get lost
Until you never question why. With a sigh
Let go of the game of chance and don’t lie
To your heart. From now on forget the cost.
heart-on-fire

The Hearth of Darkness

A star sent spiraling into nowhere.
The journey has been abandoned
And there won’t be any light forever.
I am sorry my friend. A rope I should sever
But never do. Your life stationed
At the end. I still look for you somewhere.

Among the stars your light faded and I grew jaded
Towards a world I never knew. I’ll forever be faded.

Young hearts pierced by a rusty blade
Then torn apart. You got this way of twisting
Your words into weapons and leaving me silent.
Oh, truthfully I resent you. But it was you I fought for
And who I’d die to protect. I didn’t know I’d bury you
Among the ruins of a life we failed to achieve.
Did I deceive you when I made forced your final breath?
It mirrored the ecstasy of your nighttime moans
Yet I cry for you because I didn’t want you to die in my arms.
Why do I say such hateful things at your grave?
Sins sealed your fate my dear and now I must go.

I raised my sword to fight the unseen threats.
As I trusted you you became the unseen;
Lust danced in your mind. A smart man retreats
From that situation. I had to be so mean
And slay you when the darkness consumed you.
My town sacrificed for carnal desires
Then I came back afraid of everything. The few
Unchanged told me about your hearth of dark fires.

Enter Fear

You were the woman I always knew, a lie for my heart,
And I entered your sin without fear. I’m unable to depart.

The darkness started ebbing from your body
Like some tainted spring. I drank deep. A curse
I willingly accepted. Flames of darkness danced
Around your undressed body and I reached through.

Enter Passion

Shadows in the light of dark flames
Merging. Midnight struck as our fingers
Tensed and mouths tasted of sweet wine.
Your words danced in my head like flower petals
Caught in a gentle breeze. We lost all sense
In the delicacy of flesh. Like two molten metals
We became an alloy, the same. Twine
Around your soft wrists where fire lingers.
Playing games against sanity’s frames.

The darkness claimed us both. Falling into your Hell
I knew it was my fault for leaving. But you are a shell
Of your former self. I made sure to kiss and never tell.

Enter Light

My eyes opened up. The corpses on the walls
All had mouths opened and eyes closed.
A sigil burnt upon my chest from our love
Eats away at the sanity to resist this beast.
You turned into a beast and left me here
All alone. I looked inside to see darkness everywhere,
Your eyes mirrored the night, the screams of the dead
Remain in this room, and you’re their Endarkened Queen.

“Oh, my love for you has no end so sweet dreams forever.
Find yourself reborn in the light and remain there forever.”

ENTER FEAR, ENTER PASSION, ENTER LIGHT

I made a grave marker after I burned everything down.
The sigil remains but my duty isn’t over. Wear the crown
Of my heart, my dear, and break the curse of your nightgown.

The weight of your death oddly gives me clarity.
I miss you and for that I continue on with sincerity.
sa;bdry

Of These Passing Stars; Part III

The words I write come to life in my mind. I witness the light of everything yet the dark remains. Without darkens we would never know what light is. But the magnificent stories I see within tell of overcoming the darkness in human hearts. Through wandering eyes is how a story of another world begins upon our own.


     Dew falls from the leaves of trees like teardrops as I race with my men towards another battlefield. Mud kicks up with every step our horses take covering the tree trunks and scaring away small animals. The sky clouds over to block the Sun. Our eyes keep focus on the billowing smoke in the distance.

My hands shake with fear and I readjust them for what feels like the hundredth time. The other men hold their heads downcast knowing death awaits some of us. A lieutenant studies the map of the land noticing that the land is different. Fear is a part of what we do for the Royal Protectorate.

The Royal Protectorate has many branches. Some branches are nobler than others but they make a single tree. Documents say the organization exists in opposition of tyranny. Us soldiers don’t think in as grand of notions as our superiors because we have one thing worth fighting for, our homes.

A few months ago a special unit was made to subdue alchemists in the nation of Dragacia. Alchemists are people born with a connection to something known as the Mists. The truth behind their origins is well hidden. I could care less about the alchemists because people are people and there are both good and bad people. Our superiors decided they are too dangerous and unpredictable.

Give humans more power and their true nature emerges. Their sinful nature will destroy everything we have made. We must control them, study them, and decide the best action. A speech given by the commander of the Royal Protectorate. Words and allegations condemned people from living their lives. My unit feels uncertain about the way this is being dealt with.

We can’t bear to talk about it. Our missions are more important than dividing the public. I have seen an alchemist go berserk only because of persecution and for that one event they’re judged. What of our cruel words that push them towards the ledge? But the Royal Protectorate swears the monsters are them. Only my unit knows where the real monsters exist.

Centuries ago when the human empire collapsed something was created. A weapon created to shatter the connection alchemists have to the Mists. The connection is in every human but that was a theory until the weapon detonated on their city. Technology that could magnify the energy in the connection, compress it, and release it. They created a bomb.

A third of the Earth was swallowed by the explosion. Mist radiation followed the air currents. The radiation wasn’t lethal but it changed the ecosystem rapidly. No records written from that event until three centuries ago meaning we lost a millennium.

People have tales explaining why. I don’t buy into any of them. My men and I fight abominations made from mist radiation. I think for a millennium humanity fought these things. Their numbers dwindle but they wander near towns like starving wolves. We took upon the task of eradicating them but we have no clue how many there are or if they can breed.

I close my eyes trying to think. Something huge knocks me off my horse. My eyes open and I stare at the clouds above wondering why I can never rest. I unsheathe my blade to stab the ground for balance. A beast made of shadows stands before me and in the shadows I could see faces drowning. One of men lays under a foot of the beast and the cracking of his bones echoes inside my head.

“Men we came here to wipe this creature from existence. If we don’t it’ll kill more than just us. See the souls captured in its shadows? Death is only the start of the pain it’ll inflict. The three alchemists need to stand behind me. I’ll give you time to cleanse the wound but if I survive tell me what these truly are.” I rally my soldiers the best I can.

“That’s a big if General Niteblade! But this won’t be easy like the last few. It is thriving off of dark emotions of the victims to create a shield. And we have no idea how to destroy that.” shouts one of the alchemists.

“Well fuck what am I supposed to do?” the lumbering beast darts at us but I raise my swords just in time to deflect the blow.

“Improvise!” screams everyone even the lieutenant.sa;bdry

Of These Passing Stars; Part II

I walked away towards a little tree. The shade reflected the color of my heart. A bottle of vodka rested against the tree and the shows danced upon the glass. I squinted at the gleam and realized I was finally alone. My hands opened the bottle as I stared out across the city and above to see the lonely skyline.

The alcohol washed down my throat with a familiar burn. I placed the bottle down and searched for my notebook. Every feeling I had felt like energy coursing through me. Calmness washed over me then I smiled from my heart after what has been so long. The heart divided from my body started to reconnect. Few friends witnessed the real me who emerges when I find peace in me.

What happened to the days when I never cared? The lessons I learned from life haven’t all been fair. A gentle and loving heart restricted by a roll of the dice. Was that what changed everything though? A heart without scars built walls against others one day. What created this kingdom within?

I was told to do what I was told. They watched me play along to their own tune but never witnessed my heart. Deep inside of me their words never reached. I discovered what meant a lot to me and that was enough for me, love and beauty. The skin-deep beauty wasn’t my desire because true beauty awaits within. Such as the words I wrote from then to now have contained the most beauty I’m capable of.

When I needed help I was too arrogant to ask. A heavy depression lingered within my head. Happiness was hard to find from anywhere. I screwed a lot of things up by self-medicating. My choices welcomed disaster. But I shattered through that depression by being one arrogant fool. I understood others faced worse but to me I needed to look deep inside because drugs couldn’t fix me.

Even now I still struggle with finding happiness in the things others enjoy. It makes me feel like an outcast. But today I have reasons to fight on through how I feel. Friends who I want to make laugh even by being completely ridiculous. A family I need to let know that I can live my own life and they don’t need to worry. My lover who I want to discover a better us with and never let her down even when I find myself afraid.

They’re the reason I write. Every beautiful thing in life they might never see I’ll open their eyes. I’m not the type to place coins on the eyes of the dead because I want to go on living. Rest silently brothers and sisters underground or forgotten because I’ll live in appreciation of everything.

So open up your eyes and witness the Universe all around you.
sa;bdry

Of These Passing Stars; Part I

 

     I sat on the grass and watched cars race on by. One by one they abandoned me without a single glance. The forgotten world surrounded me. It wasn’t a jungle where I’d be lost but a lawn in the middle of a city.

     “In a jungle I could fade away like I was never there. Here is a prison made out of good intentions, Hell. Nothing monotheistic or polytheistic just what it is. No words or actions could ever break the bars made from what we thought was best. But I am the one who is wrong for sitting here doing nothing. A devil that never tortures himself or others because he believes in more.” I amused the thought under my breath ever so cynically.

     The world reached towards a light. Gravity dragging it towards the fiery ball of gas that gave life. The Groves of Heaven revolving around the Gate of Hell. Aren’t they similar in ways undefined? Lines plotted on a graph are still lines and they’ll intersect eventually. If only they were parallel instead.

     Every other human listened to what they were told and so they are destined to drive away. My heart dropped through my chest because I long to forget what I’ve grown to know and join them. We were cut from different cloth. Why do I know if we were angels I’d be one of the fallen? They went to perform holy duties while I remained here like a stone. Forgotten.

     I decided to dedicate my life towards my writing. The beauty others passed by I must see. Life’s choices dictated the routes we would take leading us through days, weeks, months, years. Judgment passed between the lips of angels eternally damning each other. Why do these good intentions mark us as traitors?

     Choices, the true difference that divided us from fables. Raised in an advancing technological era all we have are choices. These choices turned into an endless ocean. The choice handed to us is an oar to help us navigate the journey. We created an odyssey that would leave Homer speechless.

     The journey I departed has left me with many enemies. Gods, monsters, men, nymphs, and myself deceived me. Humans I extrapolated into something extravagant. A story required characters I have seen and known. I captured their souls in my mind as if they were demons and my mind was Pandora’s Box.

     Created poems and stories from what lays before me. The inspiration dripped from existence like water from an icicle. Alternate states of matter displayed before watching eyes. I devoted my life to the miracle of life instead of wealth and society. Most people scrutinized my life without understanding that I am different.

     My life never hinged on them but every day I watched them live their lives. Sometimes we walked into a ring where we fight but I understood why all along. The choices we made defined the lines and now we finally intersected.

Life will never wait for us.
sa;bdry