Tag: Life

For Peace

by Desnei, posted in Poetry, Song

Just like a drug that only masks the pain
Your words are but a momentary haven.

“Save yourself and repeat your dressed up lie
Until it becomes truth.” I tried to believe but,
My heart can’t be persuaded since that night.

When I saw the stars peeking through trees
I could feel something greater pulling my insides.
Does it feel that way for you? What is it that resides
In that heart of yours? Listen to me, he who frees
Himself will find out how lonely it can be in a crowd.
We’re waking from a dream to a nightmare. Proud?
I’ve been wandering until the day I fall to my knees.

Just like a drug that only masks the pain
Your words are but a momentary haven.

I’m trying to keep composure. Am I fighting or surrendering?
The life where I act as a knight despite my kingdom in ruins
Because I promised the King. I am sick and tired of this war!
We have the potential to love but all I ever seem to find is hate.

If I lose everything what will I do? End this war with my hands.
I’m avoiding violence and teaching love. I pray these many lands
Find peace before the monster within me awakens. Take my hands.

Just like a drug that only masks the pain
Your words are but a momentary haven.

I need your actions to solidify what I’m standing for. . .

treestars
Source of this beautiful picture.

 

 

A Ravenous Mind

by Desnei, posted in Poetry, Song

The darkness and light, coiling serpents of fate
Will return. They’re looking for something to eat.

My heart, enriched by my passion, tempts their hunger.
I have watched my hopes get dashed and kept standing
In the wake of that aftermath. This garden reprimanding
Every belief I had leaving me so broken, to it I’m a danger.

A spark in the verdant growth of deceit and illusions
Leaving not but ash. The serpents tell me their ways,
Destruction or Reconstruction. I’m unsure what I feel.

I sling a bag over my shoulder, walk away from this Hell,
Choose to believe in myself. My heart escaped its shell
Due to the pressure building up. Yet the serpents follow
Closely, awaiting the day I’m no more than a swallow.

It’s kinda funny how the questions we ask don’t really end.
They just force us into moving on so these scars can mend.
fall

Reaching Into The Dark

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

By the clandestine blade of light falling at dawn
I will cleave apart the darkness within your heart.

Remember when these eyes were full of wonder,
A time lost in ruins. Every day had potential
And we stayed afloat through conventional
Means. Was it time or pain that left us asunder?

I kept getting back up for you
But, I never checked on you.
The pain I have given to you.

Did my ignorance shatter the glass containing the darkness
Within your heart? I’ve messed up and must find a way
To fix this friendship. Let the fight go and give to weakness,
We shouldn’t hurt each other anymore. A price we can’t pay.

I’ll carry this sorrow with you. You will never be alone.
I don’t truly understand but I don’t want you to be gone.
light

A Promise & Hope

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Carrying the heavy tombstone of my people on my back
I make this pilgrimage towards the ruins of a holy city.
My tired body heaves their weight towards the final rest
And from that point on I’ll be free. “Free from what?”

The teachings resonate inside, I’ve retained.
I can’t hold even a candle to the light shone
Upon the darkness known as uncertainty. Alone
I stand testament because my heart’s stained.

Every step I take is mine. The dead are gone
Yet, I remain here carrying their sins to atone.

Would it be so wrong to etch my own tale?
The lows and highs of a life I can call mine.
Was I just that easy to mislead with wine,
The sweet disguise of the lies they sail.

“But I don’t mind. I carry the weight like a candle
Guiding me through the darkness.” I silently cry.
The love in my heart can’t ever be snuffed out.
I’ve accepted that sometimes turning back is hard,
If not impossible; this is why I make the pilgrimage.

“Ring a bell if I ever should return home.
The world has left me alone just to roam
Until I find my place on the Earth’s loam.”

For love keep a promise, for change keep hope.
337bc8e90bd93d8d524c14ef030b3a4e

In the Face of Adversity

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Notes and memories litter the void of my mind.
I followed the words I’ve been told just to rewind
Back to this one moment where I await the wind.

Why am I caught here? The sails have unfurled
But the air remains still. I start wondering more,
My heart begins sinking beneath all this fear inside.
This reoccurring thought with such a bittersweet taste:

“Do I even belong?”

I once fought that sentence with the entirety of my life.
Every fortification I made was lost with the tide
Because they were sandcastles. I can no longer hide
From the stillness of my life and must relinquish strife.

I have no plan to ever surrender life just accepting this fate
So I can finally overcome it, removing the chains of hate.
hect

Searching For Alexandria

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

All the minutes turn into hours, incarceration;
These years have been taken by my own hand.
Lost in an endless desert. Sinking in the sand
Until bones are bleached white. Devastation.

I began a search for a new library of Alexandria
Knowing that what I find might just be solitude.
Clarity comes at a lesser cost than finding peace
Because a crystal clear river can still be polluted.

Any simple choice can change the outcome.
I wonder, is that what led to the fall of Rome?

If I sacrifice my time to obtain potential knowledge
I’m letting my life burn away in the air like a candle wick.
But I don’t do that. I dream of an Alexandria, a free haven
For every man, and fight to experience a life worth keeping.

At the end I’ll place a book on the shelf in Alexandria.
Great or bad the book is mine. To avoid this hysteria
Thriving within I’ll write on even during a silent feria.
library-future

The Imprint of a Life

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Echoing footsteps reside within the membrane of time,
Far away from this moment. The shadows dance before us
Creating eternity. We are replicated before we are decimated;
I came to see the human you were decay until every truss
Comes undone. Will we fall in the end? Erase this crime.

When I saw a rose I pondered the meaning not the reasoning
And conjured a chasm inescapable. What did you see then?
A stranger? I never felt number. Told to explore then lost
Everyone who couldn’t come this far. My lonely throne. . .

We walk forward upon the long road our hearts pave,
Rain or shine. Fate we’re forced into. My lonely grave. . .

Shifting shadows echo everything we’ve ever done.
Virtues and vices eternal; we are lost
Within the dark as our corpses frost,
We are found every second that we thaw in the Sun.

Running from the tide on our heels we change so much.
The future will drown us all eventually but we run.
We run because it is all we know and we’re out of touch.

Haunted by the skeletons of time I’ll fight my way
Through my own sepulcher until the very last day.
Magic_Sword_Wings_Tattoo_by_Nalavara

Tear Down the Wall Dividing Us

by Desnei, posted in Poetry, Song

Waiting on the day I can breathe once again.
Choked on the fumes of existence and dreams,
I can”t breathe the same air as long as I remain
Living. Every time I try all I can hear are screams.

Is that the imprint left from mankind,
An inability to accept falling behind?

The idea that a wall exists dictating productive
From obsolete. Life should never be quantified
Yet, I still find my own heart to be quite ineffective
When the truth is seen: We’re divided not unified.

Trying my best they dissect and analyze.
We’re no longer trying to relate anymore.
This predatory game played only hurts us.

Don’t betray another for the lies you’ve been fed
For this world has seen much despair in our stead.

The Tempest

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Retelling the tales of glory we once knew.
There was a time we loved but it flew. . .

Away.

A goodness inside faltered. Just stay,
Words that couldn’t bridge this chasm.
We used to fight against life’s illusions
Like heroes unafraid of anything. So, why?
What changed inside your gentle heart?
I will never know what wasn’t said.

These lines felt by each of us the same.
Dreams got shattered and we ran away.
Friends dragged out to these sea spray
Waters and depths; the day the tides came.

Fearless men now soaked and shivering cold
Never saw the storm. We did what we were told
But, the truth had vanished from our own hold.

I started a journey to unlearn the path
That led to this tempest. Seeking truth.

the-tempest-1886-1.jpg
The Tempest ~ Ivan Aivazovsky, 1886

 

Misdirection

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Stepping to the line that divides what I knew
From what I learned. The reality I have now
Might be a travesty in the eyes of the few.
At a point in the past I would wonder how.

Did I really care that much I’d judge myself?
Their words caught and placed me on a shelf.

My hands that can’t build or destroy a palace
Don’t play any role on this lonely island
Planet. What more can you want from me?
I gave my everything and still fell down.
We have grown but these scars remain
Making me believe I’m useless.
The strength I use to live is stolen
Because I don’t have any left.

One more bad dice roll from being forgotten.
I bet everyone would like that, to forget my sin
Then move on like I was never even here.
I see that daily. The truth has been clear
So I’ll try my best to live a lie with some reason.
What has hurt me will someday be forgotten.

Will I ever be able to live in your world?
I’ll always be there but I’m not that cold.

We won’t see eye to eye when you hate
Me for being what you can’t be.
The pain I fought through resonates
And trust me you’d never want a taste.
Fear consuming all that I am.

I’m so far gone since that fateful day
When you marked me. Shaken
My faith in this life I’ve taken.
The self hate that I will no longer say.

I have often questioned what I don’t like and why. My mind tries to understand every point of view for justification purposes. (Often that means forgiving horrendous acts because the person did what they thought was truly right even when they were misled.) Most people wouldn’t want to cross that line because they may never be able to find their way back. I’m positive I lost myself.

I can justify the worst actions but not mine. By judging myself too harshly I fail to find much meaning in the life I lead. Wish I could. The only tethers I have to this life are my friends even though they probably just pity me. “What do they really think of me?” haunts my mind when talking to them. If I started crying would they even know that THIS is why. There is an emptiness inside I will always hide.

The days slip by with me trying to do anything constructive. My hands slip before I ever become anything substantial. Others judge my failed efforts making me feel entirely useless. I can’t be them. I still try to be though! This is what can’t be justified. If I ever want to truly fight my own battle I need to tune out everyone else. I’m learning how to be the best man I can be.

Talk to me and you’ll never see the pain I harbor. Never believed anyone would help me so I never asked. Years went by I still remained quiet. People said I was either stupid or mean which I loathed with my whole being. No one expected anything from me. Where are my friends now? They’re moving on when my feet refuse to do the same. Will any of them reach out to see if I’m alright? Maybe they just gave up on me.

I made new friends who remind me  that this whole thing is wrong. I’m doing the best I can in a tough situation. The words of others affect me more because I am self conscious after everything that has happened to me. My mind never stops analyzing giving myself a different perspective that others have a tough time relating. I found people who take the time. Everything is starting to look up.
sa;bdry