A Small Black Bow

The Autumn night chilling me to my bone
But I turn to see her sleeping in the back.

“This world ain’t ordinary. When an angel
Rests in a car, I smoke away this chilly night,
And the airwaves are full of meaningless chatter.”

I put out the cigarette then roll up the window.
From the mirror hangs a small black bow.

I take it down and smile slightly. Last Christmas,
She gave me just this. What she told me remains
Carved into my being. “The words you write, the rains
Of Spring; both make nothing into something gorgeous.”

A reoccurring dream where I seek understanding
And wish we could leave our suffering behind.
Wishing that I could find a way to be your king,
My queen. The little dream serves to remind:

This beating heart of mine seeks the warmness
I find with you near. Searching for your tenderness.
heart-on-fire

Learning to Relax

A grand circus, the dark home of the Liar King,
Thriving like a parasite on the last lights of Eden.
The jesters dancing around primordial flames
But in their eyes is death. And he who tames
Lions has no control over their hunger. Laden
Truth with frightful joys and let humanity sing.

Lights shining on the horizon of the night sky
Tempting pure hearts that have been wading in sludge.
With rain the blood and lust overflow from cisterns
Into the wound of existence, infection of innocence.

Would you run to safety if only you could?

Fleeing into the brier coffin of tears never shed
By men too dark to be saved. The flood erased
Much of what couldn’t grow in the Sun. Were you led
Towards the light or a lie deep inside your head?

If we’d question the truth we’ll find cracks.
Observation and salvation, a petri dish
Growing a colony of lies. Still we wish
To be worthy. How rusted are these tracks?

Continually dragging corpses across the border
Between right and wrong as we try to find order.

I can’t say I really care about that balance.
It’s hard to dream when we can’t ever agree
On what it means to be alive. Does a tree
Forsake itself for growing? Cast a glance:

The Earth is slowly revolving
And on it life remains evolving.
sa;bdry

The Lotuses of Hades

Where are you? When the world burns
Your tender flesh. Still the world turns
And we move along chasing these Suns.

Caught in a facade, spiraling illusion,
Where memories fade. The waters of Lethe
Can’t compare to what we drink. Heavy
Is the burden as we give into erosion.

Yeah, cruelty and sorrow exist
But I’m begging you to resist.

I’ve spent my time in the rivers of Hades,
Steams of consciousness, to ponder life.
The truth I found haunts me like a ghost
In the dark. Nothing safe, nothing right;
Cerberus’s teeth ripping flesh from bone.

Five rivers – I will descend into darkness once again
If you ever lose your way home, the love we retain.
heart-on-fire

Timelines, Pathways of the Heart

Across the strings of time memories are knots
That come undone. Prove to me you’ll remain
When the start and the end are pulled. A stain
Of red wine on white silk where the string rots.

Electrical waves, your heart beat echoing
In my eardrums a reverberation. Oh, sing.

Eternalize my gaze with a knife of romance;
Touch the point to my iris and tell me the truth.
Come or go, we come undone in unusual ways
Leaving a fissure. Hey, don’t worry my friend,
This is room to grow. Break these ancient chains
To a beast within beyond the Gardens of Babylon.

Shatter the cross-hair and push me back
Along the timeline that brought me here.
I hold to the love inside though I lack
Much strength. I’ll wipe away every tear.

Right or wrong? That isn’t what brought us together.
A string of choices led us near each other. When I saw
You suffering alone I chose to hold you as you tremble.
3d-graphics_lines_of_light_027829_

Finding the Words to Say

Where did the Summer blue
Drift off to, when the birds flew?

I can’t say I know anymore.
That’s the reason for my tears
Falling onto my cheeks. I’m sore
From all the rust on my gears.

Something changed deep inside my heart.
It feels like a darkness, the shadow
Of yesterday casting onto a blank wall,
And the memories go cold. Fear,
A demon tasting the wealth of blood
Pooling in these forgotten chambers.

Did I forget to say goodbye again?
In truth we both wait for the rain.

What have you lost? I should ask
Yet the distance feels great.
Would tomorrow be too late?
Helplessly watching day turn to dusk.

As the first star shines through the veil
Of night I’ll be thinking about this little tale.

dusk_forest_by_sclarke1991-d63rnsa
By Sclarke1991

Of These Passing Stars; Part VII

Ariex, have you known all along? The demons of this world don’t have horns. They walk beside us unto the sound of creation, destruction, and resurrection. I was an idiot to think that the sides are so easily divided. The two marks have taught me that we are wrong. But my duty remains the same. And you will need to follow your own duty.

My body can’t handle both the darkness and the light. You’ll know what we should do but I can’t give you my burden. We’d be playing right into their hands and our suffering won’t end with death. Who are they? Who made these monsters both human and not? Two brothers recreated among creation endlessly to guide everything. A differing point of view created a war that has no victor in sight. Futility is in our nature yet we succeed.

We started as kids running on meadows of grass. Those days we believed in adventure and fun. Tragedy haunted on the outskirts of our Eden like a serpent. He watched us grow from children into men. We walked separate paths and met him along the way. My heart poisoned when everything came crashing down. The tragedy of laying your love to rest. And the darkness I found myself in blinded me from Ariex’s darkness.

He abandoned the Royal Protectorate. An order made him question his humanity. The High General decided to execute unaligned Mist Alchemists in Southern Dragacia. He saw a kid lose his father because no one would help. Orders are orders. Ariex repeated that a lot to justify the past. On different paths we sat there and stared at nothing for months. We lost sight of the endless blue skies of our Eden.

I grab a corner of a stone wall. The memories stimulate the marks making my blood feel like it’s boiling. I try clearing my mind to no avail. I begin inching my way towards where Ariex will be waiting. The guards and the people laugh at me like some drunk. Tears roll down my cheeks but I keep moving.

Suddenly I lose my balance then fall on my back. I gasp out air and gaze at the cloudy sky concealing the Sun. A desire to give up washes over me. I shakily reach my hand out towards the sky. Someone gently grabs my hand. The warmth of this person keeps the doubts at bay long enough for me to get on my feet. The person laughs at me but never turns to face me.

“Synji, you idiot, did you really let yourself get cursed again? What would our parents say? We only have one choice if you don’t want to die.” Ariex’s deep voice carries a sense of rationality.

“Well Raejak and you agree I’m an idiot. Thanks! Asshole. And do you mean we should do an absolution? You know that only makes things worse. An Endarkened and an Envoy of the Mists? Are you flipping insane? The tale of Karthentrex and Pan should tell you how terrible of an option this is.”

“And you think dying will be better? The curses will dissolve whatever remains of you. If you live that is more time to change fate. Choose against life and you never existed at all. You can’t leave me all alone. I know this choice will condemn many to pain but they’ll survive because that’s what we know to do. Survival is a part of human nature.”

“This is from the person who also says that laziness is a part of human nature.”

“I’m not going to waste energy on barely surviving. We have minds so use them. When survival is easy and we can relax then we can learn. I learned that an absolution blends the existences of the two participants. We’ll know everything about each other even the things we don’t want to. The only thing is that the hearts must be aligned. Do we truly do this just to save you?”

“No. My life isn’t worth that much to me. We do this with the intention of reversing fate. Too many people accept what they’re given. Screw everything and we will rise.”

“That’s my brother! By the light granted through Karthentrex’s knowledge and the darkness created with Pan’s death the tree of chaos arose. The choice to mend the Universe tree was made when nothing should be allowed to live. If they had walked away everything would have faded. A Universe sentenced to deletion that refused its fate. We are the children of a forbidden plane.” Ariex grabs my hand creating a powerful light in our palms.

A warmth washes over the coldness of my heart. The clouds above start swirling and create an opening for the Sun. Light focuses on my chest where the Mark of the First Blight rests. Painfully the light burns away every trace of the curse. No one else sees the absolution because the residents of this city are blind to the Mists. But the High General watches from the castle and knows who is responsible. The light from the Sun turns dark with the curse.

Something keeps the light from finishing the absolution. My memories of the Endarkened emerge in the city. Three portals appear above the city. An eye, a staff, and a gavel come forth. They judge our worth. A arrow flies from where the High General is and pierces the eye. Raejak comes from nowhere and closes the portals with some complex Mist Alchemy.

“You have no power here Grand Judge. The eye is blind. Go back to the Stones of Fate because someday even you will fall. I’m sorry. You will not erase another Universe because it wasn’t perfect. Let these two be free from your judgment. We might be damned but there is still hope. I, Raejak, will atone if we fail. These are my conditions.”

“This is Raejak? You’ll be a great pawn in the End. Your belief in hope will diminish in the future. The Stones of Fate only says that I’m more sorry than you. I’ve forgotten so much but I feel like I must erase your Universe. You all remind me about something I hate. Rintaen made a similar bet with me. I accepted his because I wanted this to be entertaining. I’ll accept yours because this is my only way to win. You can’t deny fate.”

Everything returns to normal. The Mark of the First Blight rests on its new bearer. Ariex and myself stare at each other. He touches the mark and winces from pain. I pat his back. We look up at the still cloudy sky. Randomly another arrow with a letter zips by into the stone wall. I open the letter and find detail orders for Ariex and myself.

Ariex grabs the letter from my hands. He starts laughing then hands it to Raejak. Strangers give us very frightened glances. I sit down and rest my head in my hands. Raejak tears up the letter, they both sit next to me, and we stare at the castle.

“We aren’t allowed to ever return. Our last mission for the Royal Protectorate has begun. Can someone tell me what the fuck just happened?” Ariex asks with some unease.

“First, we made a deal with something from the Mists. The Grand Judge was unexpected. I was briefed by the High General on the chance of failure. If we didn’t make a deal the First Blight would start and we’d be unable to stop it.

Second, the orders are the true objective of the Royal Protectorate. Have fun fishing for the next two years Ariex. Be sure when you meet the kid you don’t kill him. He is a good kid just the hate he has for the Royal Protectorate makes you the best candidate. You only need to bring him to the Devil Straits in Aldrassil. After that the dominoes will fall.

Third, Synji and myself need to destroy the home of the Endarkened. The Gorundin Mountains have a huge secret that we’ll unravel. If we are successful the world will have more hope. We all may end up being despised by history though. We are knowingly creating a disastrous future that will undo everything the Grand Judge hopes to accomplish.”

We look back up to the sky. The clouds are clearing up. Perhaps a city divided but at this moment it’s beautiful. The people living their lives unaware of the scary truth. Us three must protect all of this because although they may be wrong they’re happy. Whatever may come I’ll do my best to live and protect this city divided.

sa;bdry

The World, Nothing But Falling Snow

Sitting here again with these thoughts swirling
And me trying to just stay above.
The future awaits with your love
Tempting me. I can’t deny this gentle feeling.

My eyes see much darkness but you’re the contrast.
Why save me now? I have always been an outcast.
Your touch grounding me, say that this love will last.

What happened to me? Chains lay broken
On the floor. I’m no longer a prisoner
Sentenced to walk this world without aim.
I have always been compassionate but forgot
When the coldness of life reached my heart.
Damn, Cupid finally hit me with his dart.

Love mends my state of mind as I question what we know,
Hold me close and warm up my resolve in the falling snow.
heart-on-fire

The Rose of Eternal Night

The dependency of insanity turns the flower
Once red like the cheeks of a lover to black.
Every sense detonates internally. Hack
N’ slash the lines that have turned ever so sour.

Resting above the world in a smoke trail
Choking on the same old sentiments. I fail
To recognize what has changed. There is a nail
Missing from the coffin of a living man. Sail
Far away from a dystopia built from tears and blood.
The dams have shattered. We await the sickly flood
Of our lies to erase everything. When there is food
Thrown away from starving men is there any good?

The black rose grows where my heart should be.
Today I realize the decay and set off upon the sea.

Will I find a way to reverse this disease?
Across the unknown there is a chance
That a new beginning awaits like open arms.
And so I gamble what remains of me to see.

Turn the darkness back. It stays around me like the night
But I still believe that the Sun will rise. Until then I’ll fight.
blackrose

Of These Passing Stars; Part VI

“The experiments conclude that there is no easy way to balance the two energies within you. We really should find an alchemist with the knowledge about the Marks of the Forsaken Brothers. More specifically we are after disciples of Pan and Karthentrex. The intelligence branch sent me details on a lead north of Dragacia. Do you have anything left to do in the capital?” the doctor taps his foot and anxiously glances at the door.

“One thing. This needs to be off the records though. My sources spotted Ariex, my brother, and arranged a meeting. He worked with alchemists of the sect we need. If you want I can go by myself.”

“No. My duty is to watch you . Even if we raided a garrison I’d have to be your accomplice because the High General hates loose ends. Screw him but I have my orders.”

“Damn. I’ll be ready in a second Raejak just get the one device I’ve seen you used to sneak out.”

“I know not what you speak about Synji. I’m a good medical doctor of the Royal Protectorate who respects the Mist Ban.”
“And we totally aren’t the only regiment who uses Mist Alchemists. The taboo is stupid and everyone knows that. Society uses the alchemists unjustly to hide the true issues we face. My brother left the Royal Protectorate for that reason. I envy his strength for walking away from what’s wrong.”

Raejak tosses his arms up then walks into the other room. A few books fall to the ground. He curses the realm of physics for scheming against him since the day he learned about the Mists. He tosses a little metal orb with engravings all over its surface. I glance at the surface and realize there is a map of the capital on it.

“Synji where do we need to head? Also grab my shirt because I don’t think you’ll want to walk there.”

“District Nine.”

He turns the orb until he finds the place. A ray of light emerges from a hole and touches Raejak’s eye. The light thickens up until his eye can’t be seen. Suddenly light rays shoot off from the first one then crisscrosses around Raejak and me. I get all dizzy but hold tightly to Raejak’s sleeve like an anchor.

We appear in a filling bathtub with two naked men in it. Me and Raejak stare at each other for a few seconds. One of the men gets all angry while the other hides his junk with his hand. We start laughing uncontrollably. The angry man punches Raejak in the face making him fall out of the tub.

I get out and grab Raejak by the leg then pull him to the door. The two men keep watching us. We both put our index fingers over our mouths and shush them. When we get out of their house we begin laughing again. Strangers give us mean glances. Raejak finally stands up and I pat his back.

“The town never changes. We get looked at like some disreputable vagabonds. Decades of isolationism but society is the same. It is a wondrous quandary!” exclaims Raejak.

“Raejak, shut up. These people have been controlled by things they barely question. We have competitive sports, competitive politics, competitive jobs, competitive beliefs, and competitive everything. They wouldn’t realize equality and respect if they slapped them in the face.” I grab a cigarette and light it.

“What’s your proof?”

“Look over there. A crime scene where someone got shot. There is an angry crowd standing over there blaming injustice. It isn’t that and they should know that. History says there was a time when people didn’t even have to mass together to express how they felt. We have lived in the same world for centuries. They have much to be happy about but no they all want to extrapolate the situation for their egos. Kind of tragic if you ask me.” I puff out a cloud of smoke.

“You have a point. I just wonder how others see it. Do they truly believe they’re right or were they never taught to think? Education is the first step towards leading a better life. The education system keeps getting worse. Less free thinking and more memorization. All the schools do is perpetuate the problems. Some good teachers still try but the majority just do what they’re told. When in war for us soldiers we must follow our general’s orders no matter what. If we don’t we are labeled deserters. And if we follow the orders and it creates a travesty we’re labeled tyrants. Both things are wrong but society gets to dictate what’s right or wrong.”

“People need to just walk away. Follow your heart and if you’re wrong accept it then move on. And if it gets too hard take a nap. Everything will be better when you awake.”

“I’m not sure laziness is what we need.”

“Would you rather be a lazy bum or someone who only does what he is told?”

“Valid point King of Sloth. Well go find your brother I’m going to drink this bottle of wine and take a nap. Use the code phrase to wake me up.”

“What code!?!”

“The High General’s wife is a slut.”

“Really? That’s the code? Fine! Just don’t go into the brothel because I’m not pulling you out of that diseased cesspool.”

“Probably was caused by the High General’s wife.”

“You don’t like him do you?”

“Fuck you. Go talk to Ariex and remember the code. It’ll save your life.”

sa;bdry

Don’t Stop, Keep Moving

The push and pull of forces, big and small,
Keep leading my feet through all these days.
Tomorrow remains unclear when I’m in a daze.
I’ll remember your words. “Go where your feet fall.”

Many fears wait behind life’s curtain.
A play unfolding. We are calling for rain
To wash away all of what we entertain.

Walk forward. Someday the lights will fade to dark
Leaving us to wander. I’ll remain here with your mark.

Your words stir within when the defenses
Come tumbling down. Selfishly I cling
Because I was not prepared for life.

I’m walking here amid an unending darkness with much pain.
But I wouldn’t be walking if it wasn’t for your words like rain.

They fall so gently. A beautiful serenity
Resounding from your heart, Soon we depart
Yet the words keep us bound. Where do I start
With admitting that you ARE my eternity?

These words filling my head, light sweet liquor filling your glass;
We dance along to the music of life. Don’t let the chance pass.
heart-on-fire