To Learn

Sometimes I start feeling like the worst
When remembering catastrophes I created.
The good left desecrated. Flowers wilting
After they bloom. My heart rejects that time.

A time I didn’t know myself. You’re right,
I did terrible things and I can’t fix the past.
These memories sting but they won’t last
If my heart keeps beating to find the light.

No matter what I’ll be prepared for a fight
When it comes my way. Sorry, I failed you
Yet I call on that for the strength I’m lacking.

“I moved on.” The lie everyone says once in a while.
Nobody can forget what they gave just to see a smile.
Is that all gone? Regrets force us to change. (No denial!)
learning

Embedded Chains, Thorns of Remembrance

Can I just see the truth? A question haunting
Me like a specter. Oh, the banshees will sing
The refrain of my hallowed breathing. They
remember what I don’t and it is in what I say.

But the specter still drifts endlessly. A heartfelt melody
Unheard. If it can then just let it fade away, my remedy.

Screams echo through this rundown chapel
Carrying the force of emotions. Devotion
Was common here until the day the bell rang no more.
It was on the day of a wedding. The lovers who swore
Their lives together but it felt like treason.
A beautiful flower until you reach the last petal.

What came on that day? The truth entombed.
Eyeless groomsmen and handless bridesmaids;
We danced to the times for we were damned.

Ill touched wineglasses resting in sight.
Magically entranced by shining moonlight
We took but a sip of Death’s love on that night.
One by one we join the curtain call as our last right.

Who am I? A shifting illusion in the Sun’s rays,
An unsung bell on a thin rope, that never strays.

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Source

 

 

 

Of These Passing Stars; Part IV

     A howl breaking through the membranes that divide mind and heart leaves a fissure within. Every thought of self seems even less real. They vanish into the fissure. No way to be led back to the correct path if there ever was one to begin with. And the truth stands perpetually like a pagan monument built on hallowed ground.

     I realize the thoughts in my head don’t justify a thing. The truth will be even if every soul is deleted. Who am I to question it? All I can do is try my best at living. The howl returns me from the open space inside. My mind must calculate and my heart must will. If they do anything else I will lose this battle.

     The beast dashes at me once more with gnashing fangs. I cross my blades right before the impact connects. A shock wave of force runs through the blades and into my bones. I grunt from the pain then realize the beast just standing in front of me.

     “Why does it have armor?” I say the most obscure thought in my head making the entire regiment laugh.

     I remove my plate armor and taunt the beast. It charges at me but I jump over the attempt. The alchemists’ summon a magical barrier before it went any further. A staggering opponent unaware of me above aiming my blades for his eyes. It howls once more causing the barrier to crack.

     The sergeant stands in front of the alchemists as a secondary barrier if the first falls. This is always harder with others. After I lost the only two families I ever had I’m cold to his selfless gesture. Novice alchemists can’t withstand the shear strength of the demons I fight. Well gravity will be the determining factor here. The beast lashes out with its arms shattering the barrier. Crystallized shards of mist fire off in every direction.

     I slam the blades into the beast’s neck and push it backwards. Dark mist spews from the wounds. My chest starts burning when the dark mist engulfs the whole field. I tear my shirt off and feel the mark left there years ago from a lover. Memories about her I chose to forget return because the darkness feeds an inner fire I wish to put out.

     “Poor old Niteblade abandoned by everyone he cares about. Unable to see what was in front of you you accepted one of us. Was it the face of your lover that made you blind? Did you not see the corpses, smell the decay, watch friends kill each other with their ravenous lust, and see your lover leading that dark covenant?” a sinister voice emerges.

     “I saw everything. She lost her way and so did others. But that woman wasn’t my lover. She was one of you, the Endarkened.”

     “Is that what you call us? We are the Illuminated. Life hurts some people really badly. The Mists have been altered and now the strong emotions people catalyzes an extreme reaction. Complete soul removal. The human must be a willing party for us to be created. But there is another way if an emotional bond ties a human to an Illuminated. You gave into the desires of flesh and desecrated yourself.”

     “Yeah. I’m a human we make mistakes sometimes small and sometimes big. We will screw up but we can learn. Can your kind learn anything more than your patron sin? Pride.”

     “You could tell? I can’t say if we know our potential when we are hunted like beasts. Ask your superiors who imprisoned the Seven Kings and altered the Mists. But what do you care? All you know is orders like we know sin. We both don’t understand why we exist.”

     “I don’t feel for you. The fact I can relate makes me want to kill you more. I’ll check into your lead though and lay to rest every corpse you tainted in your wake.”

     “Thank you. I don’t like living if it means I erase everything around me. But I can’t surrender without a fight. My patron sin says more terrible things and you’ll never hear it. Why? Your friend who stood in the way of those alchemists. He’ll never be able to return to battle even if he lives. Such a selfless act refutes my existence.”

     “Your execution comes from the Spear made from the light of hope. Searing through the damnation until only humanity remains. The word of God is lost yet morality never dies. It is in all of us to stand upright no matter how much we fall. Without holy text we can still see the way. Defiled hearts must be cleansed by the surging waters of hope and change.”

     “Beautifully resolute. You have admirable qualities but lack many things. I won’t pretend that I can persuade you to sin. Death is the answer then I’ll snatch your soul. Lowly beings such as yourself make lovely pawns.” Pride snickers at my belief and humanity.

     I reach for my blade while listening to the wind for Pride’s movements. The darkness parts, I shove my blade into the opening, and see red blood spew out. I stumble back fearing my action. A laugh trails from multiple places in the darkness. Blood on me dissipates into the darkness. Thoughts pile up in my head making it even harder to see the difference between illusions and reality.

     I feel with my left foot. My boot hits the hilt of my other sword. I kick up the blade and grab it. Something feels weird. The weight is off. It transforms into a spike and pushes into my palm. My mark reacts violently. Blood turns black and crystallizes into a blade. I feel my mind slipping underneath the taint.

     The blade absorbs the darkness. Pride stares at me with a smug gaze. He rushes me biting and clawing like a wild beast. My flesh begins to crack and memories begin shattering. I struggle to find any light within me. Everything goes black but I can still hear my thoughts.

     Stop the darkness, I must. EMBRACE IT!!! No, I can’t. My life h as to remain. I’ve seen too much. REST FOR A WHILE. . .no. If I let you win I’ll never be safe inside. Isn’t that overrated? Very much so. Then why? I must make right the past. You can’t. I know that. Why then? To protect my new friends.

     Light pours from the cracks. I stand up in a beam of sunlight. The blade that is my right hand dissolves the darkness within. Sunshine fills the crystalline blade. Pride backs away with fear then starts laughing. I dash at him but his claws deflect my attack.

     “Did you really think light could. . .” Pride’s claw fades away into the sunlight.

     I push him back to the edge of the forest clearing. A giant oak stands between him and escape. I say a prayer under my breath and shatter the crystalline blade into four shards. Each shard flies into the beast. Two shards pierce his shoulders, one digs into his heart, and the last enters his head through the right eye. The beast disintegrates into sparkling sunlight and I fall to my knees.

     The alchemists come over and place their hands on my shoulders. I hear the lieutenant crawling over. Brothers sitting in the aftermath of a battle. The stench of blood lingers in the air. Three brothers lay lifelessly on the ground. Tears drip from our eyes. We know it is our fault death welcomes them. Strength defines the result.

     “I wasn’t strong enough to save them. Lieutenant you can’t even stand up now. The horses ran off and I’m too weak to carry you to the nearest town. I’m your general but I can’t do more than when I was a nameless soldier. I should relinquish my position.” I lament on the truth of these events.

     “Kid, you are fit to be a general for saying that. General Niteblade thank you for saving our lives. And we are sorry that you must overcome that curse for us. If you turned we would’ve all died. But you overcame it. What is a few broken bones, gouges, and blood? Nothing compared to that curse. What matters is we are alive.” the Lieutenant adds from an adrenaline high.

     “Who can still stand?” I yell at the remaining soldiers who all yell back.

     “General let us alchemists lead them. The town must be burned down. If he was wandering that only means he ran out of livestock. Anything else?” the taller alchemist pats my back.

     “Bring the bodies here. I promise to lay them all to rest. They aren’t easily erased like our superiors think. One lonely regiment tucking a scary truth away from the public’s eyes. But we still have things we must do. Leave me here though. I have to finish that prayer for it.” I give the best orders I can with Pride’s essence merging into the mark.

In the encompassing light we walk

Through the straits of sin and talk.

Choices make the path. Undeterred,

We continue our journey. What we feared

Will soon burn away in the light.

Beings of stardust who think they’re right.

Our lies will burn away

Leaving nothing but ash.

Humanity is nothing divine

Nor will it ever be. Wine
Should be drank and bread shared.

Not taught or learned just shared.

There is darkness and light. Day and night,

The movement of celestial bodies around stars,

Give birth to the duality that leaves scars.

Rest in the light of dead stars and bask in daylight.
sa;bdry

The Hearth of Darkness

A star sent spiraling into nowhere.
The journey has been abandoned
And there won’t be any light forever.
I am sorry my friend. A rope I should sever
But never do. Your life stationed
At the end. I still look for you somewhere.

Among the stars your light faded and I grew jaded
Towards a world I never knew. I’ll forever be faded.

Young hearts pierced by a rusty blade
Then torn apart. You got this way of twisting
Your words into weapons and leaving me silent.
Oh, truthfully I resent you. But it was you I fought for
And who I’d die to protect. I didn’t know I’d bury you
Among the ruins of a life we failed to achieve.
Did I deceive you when I made forced your final breath?
It mirrored the ecstasy of your nighttime moans
Yet I cry for you because I didn’t want you to die in my arms.
Why do I say such hateful things at your grave?
Sins sealed your fate my dear and now I must go.

I raised my sword to fight the unseen threats.
As I trusted you you became the unseen;
Lust danced in your mind. A smart man retreats
From that situation. I had to be so mean
And slay you when the darkness consumed you.
My town sacrificed for carnal desires
Then I came back afraid of everything. The few
Unchanged told me about your hearth of dark fires.

Enter Fear

You were the woman I always knew, a lie for my heart,
And I entered your sin without fear. I’m unable to depart.

The darkness started ebbing from your body
Like some tainted spring. I drank deep. A curse
I willingly accepted. Flames of darkness danced
Around your undressed body and I reached through.

Enter Passion

Shadows in the light of dark flames
Merging. Midnight struck as our fingers
Tensed and mouths tasted of sweet wine.
Your words danced in my head like flower petals
Caught in a gentle breeze. We lost all sense
In the delicacy of flesh. Like two molten metals
We became an alloy, the same. Twine
Around your soft wrists where fire lingers.
Playing games against sanity’s frames.

The darkness claimed us both. Falling into your Hell
I knew it was my fault for leaving. But you are a shell
Of your former self. I made sure to kiss and never tell.

Enter Light

My eyes opened up. The corpses on the walls
All had mouths opened and eyes closed.
A sigil burnt upon my chest from our love
Eats away at the sanity to resist this beast.
You turned into a beast and left me here
All alone. I looked inside to see darkness everywhere,
Your eyes mirrored the night, the screams of the dead
Remain in this room, and you’re their Endarkened Queen.

“Oh, my love for you has no end so sweet dreams forever.
Find yourself reborn in the light and remain there forever.”

ENTER FEAR, ENTER PASSION, ENTER LIGHT

I made a grave marker after I burned everything down.
The sigil remains but my duty isn’t over. Wear the crown
Of my heart, my dear, and break the curse of your nightgown.

The weight of your death oddly gives me clarity.
I miss you and for that I continue on with sincerity.
sa;bdry

A Sword Raised to Protect

Resting on these laurels
As if they change something.
I enter from a flourishing Spring
Into a drought. Failing morals.

Sinful recant in the shade under a blistering star
That has been there long before any man. A scar
In the sky during this drought. Distance to walk is far
Between the shadows of trees. There will be a war
And I’ll be the only casualty today, this I swear.
When all I try to do is earn respect even by a hair,
Such a small amount, but I lack so much. A thick tar
Pours over me but to others I am the same from afar.

Chasing what comes undone
Because I still hear that tone.

Do you think I’ll never move from here?
How can it be that clear? My own heartstrings
Plucked until they were out of tune. I raise my voice
And they let me suffer for it. All I want is someone
Who has faith in me. Is that really it? In part maybe.
I want to prove to myself that I’m not in the wrong.
Do they prey on my weakness? Family and friends.
How can I trust when nothing goes right? From my sight
I go blind. The uncertainty deceives my heart and mind.
Lonely. A raised voice passes through the walls
Surrounding my true self. They never even notice that.
Saying how I feel would be like placing a powder keg
Within a burning chapel. No trust, bottled up feelings,
Judgment passes over, self loathing ensues; I slip away.
This event goes on repeat forcing me to feel defeat
Even when I return day after day. Is this my own insanity?

So many questions I’ll never be able to answer
And I know that. The truth has turned into a blur.

A final choice remains. What to do with this life of mine?
Can’t expect respect if I do nothing. I must do what I want
And prove who I am to myself. I’ll rise up to fight like a gallant
Knight who raises his sword to protect. In the end I’m just fine.
sa;bdry

I’m Fallen Not Broken

What is right and what is wrong?
I thought I could find it on a long
Journey through life. Am I strong
Enough to finally recite a song?

The song of who I am. Caught
Up in the words of yesterday
But I try going forward. Do others
See me falling back or rising up?
There is so much more. If only
They’d open their eyes and see me.

Screaming to lift this lonely rope
From my neck. I am here. They say
That respect is something you pay
A price for. I’m just trying to cope.

The real me wants some rest
But everyday I’m put to a test.

What if I surrender? What if I snap?
My heart beats so I face what I know,
But is that all there is? I’m so numb!

I want to dream again. All the pain
In this world I hate. If I were to say no
What would they even do? The rain
Falls if I win or lose. Say get ready, go;
I’ll be waiting here for a derailed train.

Every time I reached for a hand I fell
From an emotional cliff. I never drowned
So I return trying to right the past. Crowned
By my regrets, thorns, I can already tell
I’m never going back into the cold ocean.
They say I’m distant but that is my devotion
To all of the true hearts we can never sell.

I cared so much but they let me fall below.
So I vow for life that I’ll never be that shallow.
sa;bdry

Clairvoyant, Perpendicular Lines Inside Our Eyes

An ephemeral wind passes right on through many
And yet everything remains the same. Closed off.
Is that what we have become in time’s erosion?
It seems so long ago when smiles challenged the Sun
But we are the same people. Caught up in semantics
We defy the lessons upon the parchment above, the sky.

Caught in this cycle most avaricious. Building castles
In the sand with dying wishes for graves covered by thistles.
Why do we fight for dreams lost in high tide? Missiles
Held as threats to these cities of glass where nobody whistles.

When humans actually begin to feel and not assume
Could it be possible for our lives to finally resume?

If I look in your eyes what remains? The glow of stars
Or the ashes of pyres circling inside like a hurricane.
Did the atmosphere burn away your heart? The scars
On your skin show of years spent standing in the rain.
What if we saw the pain instead of fighting small wars?

Our sights are so perpendicular that a crash is inevitable
When the arrow of time flies right on by. There isn’t order
In what remains as we abandon our way to say hello. Tell me,
Are we supposed to say goodbye or can we change on the inside?
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Karthentrex — The Lorekeeper

Some beings are born into existence but some are created from emotions in excess. Myths are given life through the feelings that are shared. There are many universes that react differently. A few don’t change, some even change ever so slightly, and there is even one that has become a dream itself. Well one of the more volatile universes created living versions of myths. Pan was one of them trying to see how life truly was.

The humans of that Earth hated these creatures for being a mockery of life. Surely humans were the mockery if anything. They started killing off the myths one by one for a reason hid from the masses. It was the Romans of that universe who did this. They wanted control but the myths gave people hope which leads to the downfall of any empire that caters to the wealthy.

One hot day on the Mediterranean a fleet of ships transported hundreds to a secret location, a mass burial ground. Charybdis attacked the ship carrying Pan and his brother Karthentrex to their execution. Fate had them wash ashore Daedalus’ labyrinth where they came face to face with a new myth.

A tree grew at the heart of the labyrinth. Both Pan and Karthentrex set off on a journey to find that tree. Many threats presented themselves but it wasn’t until the last one that one of the satyrs died. Stone statues came to life and took Pan to the ferryman awaiting every dream given life.

Karthentrex cried but pushed pass the army of statues. He passed out when he reached the tree at the center which wasn’t terrible because the army couldn’t enter. When he awoke his first word was. . .

“Pan. . .”

A natural disturbance catches Karthentrex’s attention. The tree was dying. An Eternal Time Blossom, a tree often referred to as a gauge for a universe’s demise, was dying. Karthentrex grabbed the thing he kept from Pan, a wooden fife, and played a lovely tune. No matter what magic he used the tree never showed any sign of healing.

“If the universe is dying we don’t have much time. My last offer is my heart born of flesh and myth. It serves no purpose than to keep me alive but with that life comes untold possibilities. Creatures may never accomplish the perfect possibilities. What of a tree that is tied to the universe’s heart? Surely you can do what I cannot. Take what is mine and make everything right as you see best. Have free will for once.”

Karthentrex ripped out his heart. The tree absorbed the heart and healed Karthentrex’s wound. Afterwards fog enshrouded the chamber as a visage appeared.

“I, a being created for the longevity of this universe, accept your gift. Us Grand Time Blossoms have our roots transcending space and time connecting ourselves to the Universe Core. It is a hub where the universes disperse mass data into. Most creatures we call the data their soul but it isn’t that grand. Memories are replicated creating a consciousness in a being that isn’t you. Universes must follow strict guidelines to keep certain memories from being created. Those memories would be a virus to the whole system calling for a reboot of existence. Although it wouldn’t be terrible we still want to prevent it. The wealth of information has nothing to compare in value. Why would we wish to erase it all?

Foolish we have become in our relations with the beings of our universes. Accepting your gift is a sign of our depravity affecting the whole system. You bestow upon me free will and I bestow to you everything that is known at any point in history. The future is seen in branches so be weary of how deep you gaze. Any being could become lost in this knowledge that is more treacherous than this here maze.

Lastly this form will die so take these two seeds and plant them wherever you like. One is the good in existence and the other is the bad. You need to plant both. Trust me Karthentrex I am looking out for every creature in this universe. I see that this may lead to something terrible but you are the only one who can do this. In a day this universe will die if you don’t plant these seeds. They will allow me to re-tether myself to the Universe Core giving this universe another chance. Thank you.”

Karthentrex planted the seed that looked good and destroyed the other. He listened to the Grand Time Blossom just thought he could save the world from pain if he destroyed the bad seed. Nothing drastically changed and the tree couldn’t revoke the promise because the seeds weren’t a part of it. Free choice for eternal knowledge was their deal. So why did Karthentrex not use his eternal knowledge to know he messed up? He didn’t instantly know how to use it. Which he will in years figure it out and see just what he did.

The far reaching effects of this choice will create a new path for this universe. Creating thirteen blights that will ravage a single planet, the Earth, until either it spreads to the Grand Time Blossom or the beings fix the wrongs they had made.

So I write the first book called A City of Glass to explore centuries after Karthentrex’s choice. The world changed greatly since then. I can’t wait to show it. Welcome to the Rise of the First Blight.
sa;bdry

Runes Carved into the Sky

Magic, a flight of fancy to most
But something of great beauty,
Weaves together the strings
Of our hearts. Close your eyes to see.

     We have been standing at borderlines wondering when things will change. Tears have been shed and lives have been lost in these moments of hysteria. When everything comes to an end we are left with the shards of what we once had. The whole world shattered apart like a picture frame dropped on the floor.

It is impossible to get back what is lost. Our hearts plead and beg for the past to return. When time is an arrow we can’t reclaim a state of before or after just now. We could argue what is the best course of action or we can deal with the immediate problem.

The media wants it to be an issue not a tragedy. When we divide instead of coming together we have lost. We’ve been hypnotized. Show a little heart not your pride when pushed to the line. A strong tower crumbles down harder but love never burns through the fires of war. Change the strategy if you desire victory.

War will not fix the wound Humanity shares. When people don’t see the light in others the world surely gets darker. That is a principle in life most get accustom to. A loneliness one can feel while surrounded by others. Let us look into that before speaking about the more profound circumstances we face as a species.

Loneliness still hurts more than anything else. If people are told to do what everyone else does when they don’t agree with it then it becomes hard to know what is right to feel. The truth to that ends up being quite selfish. Do what you believe is right and someday you will meet others that feel the same. Loneliness exists just try your best not to let it change who you are.

Such a feeling of isolation often leads to terrible disasters. — 1. The person will do anything to fit in. 2. Others use lonely people to convert them from normal citizens to radicals. 3. They tend to believe what they are told instead of standing up. — Loneliness is one of many things that bring about the dissolution of civilization. How do others combat it?

Find the strings of our hearts and weave them together. The only way to change this is by being there for those that need you. Sometimes it isn’t a choice we willingly make. However small this step is it can be the thing that brings another person back from the edge. We have all been there at the edge of our wits without a clear view of the future. Be a friend to the ones in need because it is a long way down.

We are crashing from the highs,
Artificial and far from the Earth,
Nowhere to go just down, down,
Down. Heart in our throats
We don’t know where to step.
Falling in reverse, changing the story.

Reach your hand out at the cliff.
Console my burning pain until tears
Extinguish the flame. I have many fears
Constricting my heart until it’s stiff.

If only a kind hand could cross the veil
Of eternal night. My fate soon will seal.

     We can’t avoid what has happened so from today live a little better. See the heart strings cross boundaries that were until now unseen. Love for others might seem hard but open the path between yourself and another. Can be one or many just watch how close you get, respect their hearts and yours, and see what comes. One can love others as friends to save them.

Truth be told that I wasn’t sure what to say except in a poem reverberating deep within. . .

The moment I felt the true world
Return to me I looked at the night sky.
Stars were stars except now they
Gained a greater existence. Runes
Carved into place for all to see.
Do they light the way back home?

Magic of hearts and runes of starlight
Bless a road I have reached at. I just might. . .

See what awaits us beyond the past.
Typography-Change-The-World-Mahatma-Gandhi-Quotes-1920x1080

A Heart’s Reset

I took the time and built something
I thought would last. Every choice
A mistake because I lost my face
In the mirror. A bell unable to ring.

Recreate what is inside and fail.
Well I lost my way in a fairy tale.

Please forgive me. I know I was never
Good enough to put my fears to rest.
They crept upon me bringing darkness
Upon blue skies. My heart tears apart
Like a love note a young boy never sent.
Or maybe the tears he cried, he was rejected
Because he wasn’t good enough at the time.
Love evaded him for so long until a day came
Where someone saw something in him.
She left so quickly as if a cherry blossom
Making him miss her even more. He
quickly amassed love stories but no path.
None of them stayed by his side.
Now a man he still cries the nights away
Wishing he never ever knew love.
Made amends with an old love just to
Find himself unable to stay. How ironic?

I am him, lost inside of my own heart
Without a compass to lead me home.

Every memory replays in my head
Like punishment for how I lived.
How can I atone? The answer thrived
Deep in me. Find a path that I can tread.

Send me back home as my heart
Goes supernova. I must face
My own demons to be free again.
I walked away so I learn to smile
Because life is too short. I’m sorry.
My heart needs to start over. . .
sa;bdry