The Dimetri Uterna (The Dimension of All)

Have you had regrets on a choice already made?
Most likely. You’ll feel that way once in a while
But people push pass that. Just as the Nile
Will never see Cleopatra again things will fade.

For now that’s what we can understand
But doesn’t make it true. Grains of sand
Aren’t aware of the desert but it does exist.
What are we unaware of? Don’t try to resist.

The unknown will always be a thick miasma
Filling our every breath with true brilliance.

Every choice has been exhausted. We burn like a wick
Inside a lantern to brighten the path cloaked in night.
Every shard of time frozen, eternally awaiting ascension
Of consciousness, bathes the dark path in an afterglow.
All the timelines converge to grant us clairvoyance.

Falling into the Dimetri Uterna once more.
Before existence it was full of darkness
But no longer. The light heals every sore
Life created. We’ll reach our own potential.

The unknown will always be a thick miasma
Filling our every breath with true brilliance.

There is no telling what awaits beyond here and now
Even with all the blind faith in the world. As the crow
Flies we push onward to survive even if we do fly low.

Don’t let that be all you do. A glorious universe
Blesses everything with radiation from gamma rays
Released in the death of giant stars. Nothing stays
For long but the moments echo their own verse.

Can you hear them? The undead memories
Of a dying Universe refusing to disappear.
A Universe that never wanted to be alone
Created us all. Can you hear the happiness?

As we stare at the stars in the sky we’ll remember
How little we actually are then enter our slumber.
falcon

The Unseen Chains / Comfortless

Thinking about the reasons for existence. I have always known that the point of existence is to exist but, what if there’s more to it? All the choices end up painting an image of existence. The truth in that should be enough for comfort. I can’t find the comfort because something feels off. A monumental tower of questions stands in my path.

I enter the gates of the tower and hear them close behind me. This pilgrimage of mine leaves me hollow and ragged. The voices of gods and men matter not when I delve further into the uncertainty. Every second that passes ultimately leaves me further behind everyone else. I still remember the first question.

“Do you see life as a race or a journey?”
54aa7a83afd0515f6dab3a3bc97121b8t.

Never Let This Fade Away

Grand schemes direct the mannequins
Like an orchestra. Sent to chase the light,
Can they see their folly in denying a gift?
I’m not unlike them with all these sins.

We have all let others down in the past
And maybe today as well. I won’t say
Any excuses because this is the way it is
If we never push away from what we know.
The faith given to me melted away as snow
When this Winter ends. Seasons in this
Mind of mine follow no set rules. Decay
Eternalized. I search for a Spring to last.

A place where life never ends. My fantasy
Translates into a dream eternal. I shiver
From the icy betrayal of life, a dagger
In my back. How do I say forever this easy?

I knew nothingness before life. How can there be more?
Let these memories remain if anything. To God I swore.

The things I forget are many. Will her face fade away?
Tears fall from my eyes for I’m afraid to lose this.
Sinful is my heart aching in hunger of the truth
As it rips asunder the world I know. Am I even alive?

I knew nothingness before life. How can there be more?
Let these memories remain if anything. To God I swore.

Neuroses plague me as a flock of demons circling like vultures.
I’m far beyond Heaven and Hell now. Light is the carefree mind,
Darkness is the cloudy mind; the primal forces are my chains.

I’ll love with this heart and fear with this mind.
A chaotic existence I live to see events rewind
Because I want to see that smile. A strong wind
Inside carries me forward. . .I can’t fall behind.
eternity

Fireburst, A Melody of My Heart

Trying hard to impress; beautiful
In success, ugly in failure. A story
To write onto bones day by day.
Lines drawn leave an emptiness.

I tell myself I’m good but digress inside.
Afraid and taunted I feel fire like a tide.

Build the pyre higher. Reaching to the dark skies
Where stars no longer shine. Light pollution,
I can no longer find my way with these unfit eyes.
The sparkling city feels like artificial isolation.

Celestial tears fade away within. Dreams seize up,
Body goes stiff. I can’t bear this curse any longer.
Getting back up, blood pushing through; reborn.

A fiery passion arises. I come face to face with my fate
But rejected it. If this flame remains I’ll soon detonate
Like a time bomb. Before I came to help way too late
And saw the battle lost. This war remains. Now I’m irate.

Watch the flower blossom, a fireburst taking over.
When pushed to the line I return stronger than ever.

I wish in the end that we’ll be cleansed of this war’s taint!
When the dead rise we have gone too far. My undead heart
Fuels a battle cry you’ll soon feel rushing through. A blade
Pierces fragile flesh as we shake and scream for this life.

In this love we can’t ever give up. That’s what you told
Me way back when. I’ll be the fireburst that will hold
You in fiery warmth if your heart and soul ever go cold.
heart-on-fire

The Reason / Remembrance

I remember you. The only words I can find since you left this world. Many details about you I will never know but, what I do know is the kindness you showed to me. You spoke about God often. The days we’d spend talking about Heaven being a grand tavern hosting an eternal festival. You gave the sunshine a purpose as a blessing light. I feel blessed by the light even now.

Can you feel your kindness carry on inside of me? I’ll give it to others like you did for me. If the world uses kindness then everyone might one day be blessed by the sunshine you showed me. Others don’t understand why I live the way I do. I know you wouldn’t question or disrespect my life choices.

They can think whatever they want as long as I keep going with a smile. When the going gets tough I get tougher but not until then. Preparing for the inevitable will never be my way to live because I understand life. Thank you for giving me the light I needed on the inside.

Let me be the radiance of God’s love. Maybe not the god you knew but the combined existence of everything. I’ll radiate the kindness you, a shard of God, taught me.
sa;bdry

The Human Epic: Part I ~ Of Elysium and Inferno

The sands, they shift as a legend now rises
To enshadow these dunes with wild wishes.

These black marble walls reflect the heat and light
Creating a certain hell called the Tower of Night.

People walk in the shade the tower casts.
They saw the shade as a heaven that lasts.

I never did. I watched them from afar with curious eyes
Wondering why. Why is it that everything someday dies?

Their honest worship of celestial and manmade deities
Left a bitter taste in my mouth with such strong enmities.

I knew better. Some people take to beliefs with violence
While others use kindness. Neither side will use silence.

They aren’t viceful or virtuous just a little belligerent.
Science and faith, trying to make sense of the divergent.
fire_ice_clouds

The Desert of Time

The page burns away when met by a flame.
Days where I couldn’t find an easy way to tame
My mind’s eternal hunger left me with scars.
Writing the best I could yet finding only tears
In myself transcending to the page. A story
I wanted to tell though I never knew I’d be sorry
For the words never felt right. I forced my hand
To write when my mind doubted creating sand.

Each and every grain of sand is a piece of the desert
I find myself stranded in, my own existence left inert.

A darkness sleeps under the lost pages
Listening to my heartbeat. I keep walking
In search of an oasis where the dark is not.
Fanatical creatures meet me in my travels
And in a passing glance we will drift apart.
The beauty in this plane of imagination
Gives birth to an appreciation of what I make.

Caught at the eternal crossroads of clairvoyance
I sink further into the sands to find my resonance.
sa;bdry

The Selfish Bastard I Am

Walk back down the road, tell me that
And I’ll do it. Here I stand with myself
Believing I will always prevail. A shelf
Isn’t the place for a life, but why this hate?

Did I not always have my lofty, unrealistic aims?
I tried living without them and felt dead. I’m sorry.

If everything came to a choice;
Could you accept what I decide?
I’d set off seeking more in this life
Unaware of what’s in front of me.
I’m blind to the simple things,
Left stumbling into the unknown.

Where did I go wrong? Rejoice,
I’ll walk without thoughts of suicide
Chaffing my ankles. Take a knife
And snap the binds. Are we the same?
The pain returns and stings
Like a fresh wound unknown.

I should’ve said the truth; my world is full of suffering
And I’m trying my best to carry on. I find me stuttering
When talking you. I want to shelter you from my differing
Point of view because the night is eternal with no returning.

And here you remain like a stain I can’t wash out.
Will you be the rain and clean the heart I cannot.


“Maybe I’m being selfish. We are going through our own suffering that shakes our foundations. I’m trying to drown out of my pain and see you clearly. These visions of scarlet and cyan lead me away from the truth. Tripping over myself when I run to you. Selfish are my ways but you make me want to be better. I’ll learn from these shortcomings and become the man you always deserved. In the end this love may come undone and I accept that the best I can, yet; I continue forward with the teaching life gives.”

The Primal Truth

The forest holds something I try
To forget. I know others will pry
And discover what makes me cry.

Watching civilization blossom on Earth;
Different ideology, same methodology.
I seek peace and that’s why I took a walk
Into the forest. Early in the cool morning
When the light starts bending through
I set off with no true destination just to go.

An animal that is afraid to be free and in chains
Must tread through these many existential rains.

Would I find solace in a palace?
Would I find happiness in silence?
Would I find myself in my decadence?

“Erase what I’ve seen it burns deeply inside.
I see the kindness and the numbness reside
In many hearts. But I feel like I need to make
A choice between change and what’s at stake.”

The forest holds onto the truth
That wants to be remembered:
Life remains when society falls.
falcon

A Small Black Bow

The Autumn night chilling me to my bone
But I turn to see her sleeping in the back.

“This world ain’t ordinary. When an angel
Rests in a car, I smoke away this chilly night,
And the airwaves are full of meaningless chatter.”

I put out the cigarette then roll up the window.
From the mirror hangs a small black bow.

I take it down and smile slightly. Last Christmas,
She gave me just this. What she told me remains
Carved into my being. “The words you write, the rains
Of Spring; both make nothing into something gorgeous.”

A reoccurring dream where I seek understanding
And wish we could leave our suffering behind.
Wishing that I could find a way to be your king,
My queen. The little dream serves to remind:

This beating heart of mine seeks the warmness
I find with you near. Searching for your tenderness.
heart-on-fire