The Unseen Chains / Comfortless

Thinking about the reasons for existence. I have always known that the point of existence is to exist but, what if there’s more to it? All the choices end up painting an image of existence. The truth in that should be enough for comfort. I can’t find the comfort because something feels off. A monumental tower of questions stands in my path.

I enter the gates of the tower and hear them close behind me. This pilgrimage of mine leaves me hollow and ragged. The voices of gods and men matter not when I delve further into the uncertainty. Every second that passes ultimately leaves me further behind everyone else. I still remember the first question.

“Do you see life as a race or a journey?”
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The Ebb and Flow Between

Back to the place where a timepiece
Came undone. My own heart falls
On a thin rope. Haunted by a face
That’s never fading from four walls.

Eyes that once rescued me have gone cold,
But I could never blame you. We both told
Pretty lies now drenched in tears. Tried to mold
Something perfect but forgot what we had to hold,
Family, friends, and lovers came. We all sold
Each other out for our own gain. Is it gold
That outshines what we made? Quite bold.

I came here to finally see the truth hidden behind
The lies. Evading the deceit and chasing the wind.

Life to me was never a wild fire
Burning everything in sight.
I saw something much more tame
In the throes of my days. A steady
Flame kindled by the ills and fills
Of life. But around me a forest
Fire had already started consuming
Everything in reach. I couldn’t lift
My eyes up without seeing smoke and ash.
My lungs choked, my eyes sore, and
My body covered by a thick film of soot.
How can I fix what I didn’t cause?

At this single place I cried. My restless mind
Reached a barricade. Lost in the darkest shades
Even on the brightest of days. Summer day serenades
No longer resounding inside. Nothing to find.

I fall to my knees. The redoubt has fallen
Letting in countless armies. A sullen
Moon blesses the fall of another empire.
In my head fire is being set to a lonely pyre.

Counting the falling leaves of the past.
Every second burned in. My heart
Tried its best but lost my intentions.
They were good, I swear,
But an ember glowed beneath it all.
Was it passion or rage? Oh the way
The truth masks itself behind a veil.
Things just fell apart. What more?
The bond had to die from time
Or our own design. The ember
Turned into a flame on dead leaves.
Burn, burn; so we can start anew.

If the flames close in there is no escape.
A blighted tree actually has no escape.

The seeds from before will bring new life.
For now the fire consumes me. At my core
I shattered like a glass window. Brought to a shore
When it is finally over. Do I begin again or use the knife?

We must lay the past to rest
And learn to smile without reason.
sa;bdry

New Direction

Vasha’Lakar has served a purpose of bringing my writing to a wider audience. Under those guidelines the blog has been quite successful. The blog nearly was removed due to me being very inactive. I had some things in my life that needed my attention. Getting started again took a lot of effort which I didn’t mind. My mind began wondering what could be done to improve the quality of the blog. The answers I found stemmed from a comment I received months ago and the concept of a novel I’m writing.

My posts lack a harmony of sorts. Some reflect on my existence while others tell a story in some imagined world. The imagined world is the setting of my novel. Both the setting and my existence correlate with each other on a very complex level. I would very much love to talk about the similarities for days but I’d rather let the writing speak for itself. How exactly does this affect the future of Vasha’Lakar?

I will begin creating paths with my poetry. These paths will show the connections between here and there. When someone reads the poems in the chronological order they’ll see an entirely new perspective. Most of the paths will give background to the novel. (Release date is up in the air still.)

In an attempt to quicken the transition I’ll ask you, my readers. What path interests you the most? Comment your favorite.

Roman Inquisition — Parallel Universe where the Romans attempt to snuff out the truth behind myths.

The Mists — An eternal reservoir of dreams.

Fallen Temple of Kronus — A strong being lost and sealed away behind a veil of stories, myths.

Lost Isles — A part of the Mists left forgotten.

Evolution War — A result of the Roman Inquisition with long reaching consequences based upon the duality of humanity.

The Labyrinth — Pan and his brother escape the Romans.

Vasha’Entra — As Vasha’Lakar is a paradise on Earth, Vasha’Entra was a paradise on Venus.

sa;bdry

A Kiss

Lips left untouched. They await
A cascade of emotion, soft and delicate,
To connect two people. Is it fate?

Ideally yeah, I want it to be our destiny
Where we collide together like stars.
She’ll overtake me. Like in a litany
Repeat my name to treat your scars.

The truth is we don’t have time to waste
Arguing about petty little things.
She always looks to me for the light I cast.
Somewhere a heavenly bell rings.

When she sees the things that I see
A whole entire reality is created. She is the key
And I’m the lock, a story that needs to be told.
See these nights sometimes are far too cold.

I tried fighting back to warm myself
But nothing could thaw out my heart from within.
Some point I found that there’s some warmth in sin
As I kneel for a taste. It’s a sacrifice of self.

My heart didn’t approve and I learned to walk away.
Don’t think I did this for me. Just I couldn’t stay.

Too many moments of blind lust erased me,
Changed me, and imprisoned me. It’s the same
Way we justify our transgressions. Please tame
My heart so I can walk by your side in this game.

Nothing matters more to me. I can handle the cold
As long as I can hold your hand. I’ll take the cards and fold
Because I’ll never bet with our beautiful lives.
My heart is weak and feeble as it gives
Itself to you. I really just want to break out of a mold
That destines most people to pain. It’s in what we sold.

Hearts given away to those who desire flesh
Tend to never return the same. Ravaged by hunger,
Tricked by deceit — everything we are is crucified
Before us, bleeding our regrets into the soil.

From the blood spilled in the preservation of lies
Terrible things will spawn. So sever all those ties.

Don’t let the darkness take over the daylight.
Listen to me and we can set it right.
As we march towards the future
A futile memory tells us that this is a dream.
So please if that’s what you believe scream
Your heart out! Let that be your life’s overture.

We’re starting from today, putting our best foot forward,
To bring back the fire inside of our hearts. What we go toward
Is our choice alone. Learn to believe in fate despite what we know
Because you never know when you’ll need it like Christmas snow.sa;bdry

She Who Breathes Life: The Muse

Fragile in her ways she touches the world.
As it lays blanketed by frost and lost in slumber
A memory lingers just beneath the soil.
Most men ignore her or desperately ask her number
But none of them see her. An angel’s loyal
Heart set free from the stars and the underworld.

She’s biding her time in search for a reason
To smile even though it feels like treason.

Take a second to rewind time. these events
Transcribed into the reservoir of our minds
Like a dagger placed in the hands of the starving,
Memories created without any true understanding.
Yet we try in some way to always be deserving
Of some grand plan be it spiritual or man made
And that keeps us down from our own potential.
So as she feels lost there’s someone lost as well.

Arrogant in his ways he sparks fire with his touch
And everything he knows has been charred black.
A memory lingers just beneath the flames.
Most people ignore him as a weirdo, a mistake, a time bomb
But he looks up to the sky with innocent eyes.
Written in as a thief fallen from a distant paradise.

They don’t know each other that well
Except for what dreams tell them in part.
It’s the one thing keeping hearts in beat
When the world all but stopped it long ago with a spell.
In this time of not knowing when to start
A single moment will tell them to depart.
As she rose from the floor from the sky he fell.

Her longing eyes met his deepened by true emotions
Pouring out creating with them uncharted, new oceans.

A step to take, a chance to make, life at stake;
Every memory of the past once closely guarded within
Released for this single moment where they awake.
Her true colors begin to show like a sip of jin.

He looked at her for longer than a moment,
Saw the beauty on the outside as a testament
To her beauty within, and found himself inspired.
See he wanted something true not what he desired
Because he knew what he needed wasn’t flesh.
He searched for a true heart not made of a mesh.
Someone who is unique and real
Just because he needed it to feel.

Simple words he wrote became magic in his head
Due to what she said. His muse, a goddess of his own,
Gives life new meaning and picks him up when he’s down.
He writes to show his love, she illuminates where he’ll tread.sa;bdry

To Speak

Oh sweet endarkened eyes
That entangle me among my thoughts,
How can we ever see new skies
In a world often consumed by lies and fights?

Judgement flows from their minds
Casting us down with the dull, resonating
Sound of a gavel. Placed in their binds
I see them around me often impersonating
Someone they can’t be. Do I dare
speak? Some place inside of me I care
About them. My heart has a tear
Running down itself from what I fear.

They fall to their devices and fade away.
In this time I listen for the words they say.

Others told me to let them be free
But my heart says otherwise. A tree
Left to grow on its own won’t see
Those nearby. We crave the light, our key.

Take the world and turn it into a machine
Pumping into us the oil of our desires,
Thick and dark. Step back, look at the world
As a stage for a play that we live.
Every twist in this existential play
Leads us towards a long needed aside. But what if
We could always speak against the scene?
A tragedy, a comedy; a life spent spectating
From the outside when on the inside.

Find the strength inside to speak
Even when nobody else listens.
I know I still have a million questions
But I must walk forward and speak.sa;bdry

Formal Apology

I stopped writing on the blog a little more than a month ago because of my novel I’m working on. When I started this I thought about my blog and the people who enjoyed reading my posts. I’m sorry for not explaining this sooner: I will continue with the blog later in February. I’ll leave this with a little map of progress and a little bit of writing from the novel —

  • January 1st -> February 15th – Novel Writing + Editing
  • February 16th -> February 20th – Poetry Book
  • February 21st -> ??? – Blog Focus (Once my novel is done I might start up a little.)

“I grabbed my arm. The warmth from earlier remained. I squeezed even harder out of hatred towards the horror held inside of a single memory. Suddenly I relived the entire accident. I closed my eyes but the scene played even with them shut. Escape from this nightmare eluded me at every turn.”

CyberTech VS Humanity

Sweet smell of peppermint fills the air
Cascading upon me memories from the past.
A time where it all felt a little more clear
Not burdened by a hundred tears that cast.

The world attempts at destroying what makes me me
And I can’t take it anymore. These memories pave
The way back to where my heart awaits. Can’t wait to be
Brought back to that place. But what do I need to see?

Every little carol sung, every dream wasted away,
But here I return just trying see if things will sway.

This repetition sets me to self-destruct
And I pray that I’ll never reconstruct.
Despite my words I return, a cyborg of the digital age
with parts available at the local store. No way to disengage.

And to us living is our sole purpose and death is our defeat,
Anything to deny the inevitable because the truth is unfair,
Unjust, unkind. Living is just the start of seeing what is fair,

Just, and kind. Claim victory as the Universe begins to create.
Born to see, live to feel and be, die to understand value.

Everything else in this world distracts from life.
So see this life? Live and chase it all for it’s up to you.
sa;bdry

A Few Words

I was born on this day. November 21st. A little time of happiness that I still feel on this day every year. I’m not exactly sure what I’ll do today. Should I reminisce my life, go out with friends, relax for once, or do anything for other people? I haven’t decided. The whole world has changed me so much over these twenty-one years. I can’t really see that so many years have went on by.

I haven’t done much. I am not sure if that is regret or a need to do something. Today I’ll lay those thoughts to rest. I’ll attempt my best to have fun. I have one day to feel joy about my life  that I was so blessed to be given. A lot of things have happened but I’m stronger because of every single one.

I wanted to post something better. I really just need this day to figure some stuff out and let go. Here’s to hoping I’ll be writing tomorrow. A long winded attempt at trying to do some good for others.

Understanding is Key

What would anyone do if they could fix the world? The bigger question is how do you fix something that has never been broken? A lot of atrocities came manifest from people. People who never held the common man by their side. They refused to admit their humanity despite being dogged down by time and emotion. Most people find themselves in these struggles but some never do.

Money allows for ignorance and hatred to grow unaffected by the motions of life. What would you do for money? If it was enough would you kill? It is easy to say that you never would. What about when you’re at your lowest? Understand that is why extremism exists.

Muslims are facing a genocide. These people have lost everything and some bastards use them at their lowest to control them. Understand people. If you create a barrier you aren’t doing a favor for humanity. You’re feeding your own selfish agenda. This isn’t the 1900s anymore because the human race has moved forward. We can talk to people around the world and be an influence on their lives. No more does humanity have to be blind to any atrocity. Yet the defining piece is simple:

Will you let people die or will you help them?