Tag: Questions

The Grand Judge v. Desnei

by Desnei, posted in Fantasy, Fiction, Poetry, Rise of the First Blight

A man who lost his life and turned into something called the Grand Judge had a very rough existence. He never knew his parents due to a terrorism attack at the hospital he was born. The government discarded him into an orphanage with no funding until a wealthy couple adopted him. They treated him more like a slave than a kid by never giving him an education.

Ultimately an elderly butler taught the kid to read. They spent hours talking about the glorious world out there. One day the adoptive father fired the man for what he did. The man asked to adopt the kid because this wasn’t right for them to do. After consideration he accepted the offer at a considerable monetary cost.

They walked across town to a house on the outskirts. He taught the kid a lot but his health kept declining. A sickness crept in and robbed the kind man of his life. Eventually the government took custody again sending him into the military as a child soldier. This one journey in life taught so much pain and hate to an already hurt human.

He hung himself. . .

Desnei met a lot of tragedy as well. He never took his own life but life tortured him in so many ways. Many of the events that lead Desnei into the darkest side of his world create the series Rise of the First Blight. He lives in a world created by the Grand Judge (after he lost his humanity by playing god for millions of years).

Desnei is the last hope for the Grand Judge to finally change his heart. . .

“Treacherous burner of the tapestry of fate,
I spent eons creating a perfect civilization
Where pain doesn’t exist. Only destruction
Followed their births. All the suffering I hate.

Why would you forsake my final grand plan?
With a single thought I could start over again.”

“What do you have to hate? The tears and blood
We spill have nothing to do with you. If your flood
Clears the slate we won’t vanish from where we stood.

Each civilization you destroyed remains within.
What are you running from? It cannot be us all.”

“I’m no god. I was just a man that gave up.
When I was given a choice I just ran far away
And the choice caught me. Given my wish
Because I must learn of something new.”

“Maybe that life isn’t something you can choose.
Life has been and will be. Are you afraid to lose?”

“I already lost. A cruel world where I didn’t belong
Lost me with a little rope. The world was so wrong.”

“I pity you. Did no one ever show you a little heart from the start?”

sa;bdry

The River Calls Out

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Roaring rapids permeate the forest’s tranquility.
A sense of adventure entices me to seek
And witness true beauty. It’s hidden behind
The veil of this world, so far from greedy hands.

I wander the forest called Earth where souls
Planted like seeds take root and flourish.
Something beautiful is beyond the selfish
Nature residing within a young soul’s shoals.

One day a hurricane will decimate this internal facade.
Least that’s what we hope for someday before we fade.

Some souls scared me but I stared into the darkness
Without looking back. It resides in us all. I won’t run away.
To accept it is to move forward, to deny it is to fall back;
Let the truth wash you in uncertainty and drown you.

I keep on following a path through the selfish and selfless,
The sinful, believing that the journey will be worth it someday.
It has been. I have felt hurt and I have failed to find my own way
Inside the forest. A thunderous sound calls. The river is restless.

I’ll drink deep the clear untainted waters, scream out my lungs; wake
From the nightmare slumber and shiver in the bitter truth we make.

The heart and mind, idealistic and realistic. . .a helix soul.

db476a5530c04bedbddefb142f4f2308
Crystal Waterfalls by AnnaArmona

Rayne’s Lamentation

by Desnei, posted in A City of Glass, Rise of the First Blight

I stand in the devastation wrought by conflict. The victors will someday say how they fought for some grand ideal and paved a way towards a better future. They will only speak a fable far away from truth. People died because of stubborn policies protected by stubborn men. What will I say to the youth about us survivors?
Whoever strikes first usually lives. Any hesitation will shatter your bones and collapse your innards. The ideals I stood behind vanished as blood and gore drained onto the ground. Nothing could save me from the nightmare. I changed into the person I loathed, a killer. We all did.
Everyone says I should lie to forget what happened. I can’t hide from what haunts me when it’s me. A darker side surfaced. He aimed sword strikes at chinks in armor and burned foes in magical flames. I watched in terror knowing that this was me. Why did I enjoy watching other humans bleed and their skin melt? I’m sick inside.
When backed into a corner humans fight. The stubborn foreign policies forced my men towards action. Our enemy followed a man who promised a return to their homeland while he chased another agenda for someone else’s policy. Neither side cared to fill in these discrepancies before raising their arms. We soaked the Earth in iron cold blood.
Most humans know they’ll escape war but I’m unlike them. I tried protecting a city by aligning it with my enemy no matter what the cost was. My friend, my soul, and my ideals have all been washed away by a dark tide. Beneath the depths I realize that I’ll never return to the light I once so cherished. In suspension the coming war cradles me within the darkness my soul once rejected. Will a light ever reach me here before the tendrils drag me further below?

darkness

A Wretched Tale: The Darkest Night

by Desnei, posted in Fantasy, Fiction, Rise of the First Blight

I grabbed the dual berettas and walked towards the beasts. They clawed at my face as I kicked them back. I crushed one of their necks with my foot. The dark blood oozed out from its mouth. More of those beasts raced towards me.

They pushed me down and gnashed at my flesh. The darkness in their making seeped into my veins. Memories from the souls obliterated by them clouded my thoughts. I screamed because I once knew those faces as friends.

My blood sloshed onto marble floor. The beasts carved to the bones in my limbs. They ignored the meat and reveled in my suffering. Oddly my thoughts weren’t on saving my life but the absurdities in this life.

Fear chained me from ever taking action. I never trusted anyone because they could hurt me. They weren’t these demons but they scared me to the core. What if I failed them? They’d abandon me without a second thought. All those frightened souls looking for a reason to stay.

We walked away from each other. When the demons arrived we ran from our friends in need. The concept of survival destroyed everything we created together with a single strike. I stubbornly accepted that as the only way but they needed me. What good is living if you’re alone?

I never meant for the love we shared to someday die. This tragedy stoked the dying fire left in our memories. I grabbed one of the demons and tossed it against a wall. My arms trembled from the pain but I used the berettas tearing a way through the pack.

They watched me and slowly advanced. Their warfare tactics pushed me into a corner where I propped me body up. I unloaded on their front line, propelled myself through the formation, chomped on one of their necks and drank the demon’s blood, and suddenly my vision went black. . .

My body banished my mind from control. I joked around with my thoughts during the whole entire time. I shunned myself for drinking tainted blood but knew I would’ve died if I didn’t. The selfish nature I succumbed to will bring its tolls until I’m dead from the weight I carry.

I forced my eyes open to see the horror. Dark blood healed my wounds, my hands grew claws, and I spoke in their tongue. The demons laid decapitated around me and their blood formed a design, a circle split into fourths. Unable to move myself I loosened my grip on my humanity.

Who are you? I am you. The blood holds the memories of others and the demon. When you drank it you accepted us. We are you now. What are you doing? You need to regain control and assume your human form. You’ll die if the demon blood takes over. And how does this fix that? Blood purifying. The afflicted blood makes the symbol, to the left humanity stands, demons haunt the right, and the accumulation of dreams leads the way. Essentially we’ll sacrifice a human, a demon, and a Mistkin for you to live. I DON’T WANT THAT!!! You don’t have a choice, live on for us who reside within. The demon’s chains shattered and our memories don’t want us to die again. Please.

Three near dying beings stood in the circle with me. My demon blood started flowing out of my eyes. The demon and human evaporated into spheres of light cleansing the dark blood. I dropped to my knees because of immense pain. I watched the Mistkin be drained of his blood to save me from blood loss. He absorbed the cleansed blood until the ritual finished. He changed into a being of pure light that spoke.

“Ah, you are the one. The true sinner who stays alive to defend the holy radiance. Born of humanity and bathed in evil. You’ve seen the light from the darkness. A knowledge forbidden because few man are worthy of the sacrifice. To always see the radiance but never reach it. And what is your name Lightbringer?”

“Shadow, a moniker because the real name has been lost.”

Humanists V. Aristocracy

by Desnei, posted in Activist

Society turned into a consummate system to create money and war. We can’t do anything about it just build, destroy, and rebuild endlessly. Humans keep repeating this cycle. The Earth can only handle so much until we have another Black Death incident. But medically we’ll quarantine or cure it before too many die.

Is 8 billion humans supportable by the Earth? It should be. There’s more of a problem in our overproduction that exists due to economy. I may sound radical with what I’m about to say but the global civilization we have now will eventually overthrow the social hierarchy. And that’s what I spend my life in support of. If humanity mostly did away with monarchy I believe we can dismantle the aristocracy too.

That’s why I’m furthering my education, a game of chess against the aristocracy. The only thing is the pieces are humans and they have their own minds. An aristocracy rarely ever gives a reason to be dismissed under normal circumstances. The only counter to that is a better system which requires more than me.

I’ll never be the one who takes down the aristocracy but I’m going to douse gasoline onto this already burning fire. My morals are better than most though. That’s why my major plan is to remind the human race we are more than consumers and we have a kindness that far surpasses the manufactured hatred used by the extremely wealthy.

“Love, truth, and honor; the members of MAJI will forever uphold these principles no matter what.” ~ The Humanist Group MAJI

sa;bdry

The Fate of a Flower Petal

by Desnei, posted in Activist, Who I Am

Is this the fate of a flower petal drifting towards a flame? I reach out so freely until gravity takes hold, pushing me down and setting the motion. The last seconds of a fleeting dream leave me upon a precipice. All I can think about now is a question.

“Do I jump and let go of my worries?”

That question doesn’t apply to suicide even though I’ve been there before. This is a suicide of sorts where the individual loses themselves in part. A flower petal can’t bear the passage through fire and neither can a human if weakness shows. I tried finding other ways around the flames with no avail. Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

Dante’s quote is the reminder I picked from the roots of my education. To stand between religion and science I find light guiding a path to walk. The constant margin for error entices me to delve further into the questions I have. I’ve become unafraid of the unknown because all it has ever been is a boundary.

Those flames still rise. I try my hardest to never get burned just to find that I’m too weak. The love from others is what saves me from burning away and provides me with a new sense of hope. Somehow I steered far away from the fire all these years. Will my journey ever bring me back there? It’ll return until I no longer have the strength to resist anymore.

What would happen if I relinquish hope? The hope exists as a fire within me and it came from the inferno. This curse we have all accepted for more time. How much is enough? Any amount will suffice as long as not today. We are extremely greedy in that respect because just existing is miraculous enough. Certain things in life can’t be let go and that’s why we are greedy in a selfless way. Oh, the irony stemming from that sentence.

We all race through days learning that we can’t let go of everything. Yet I’ll jump from the edge of my fear into the large margin called chance. One day the flames will reach me in my momentary flight and leave not but ash. And thus is the fate of a flower petal.
sa;bdry

A Ravenous Mind

by Desnei, posted in Poetry, Song

The darkness and light, coiling serpents of fate
Will return. They’re looking for something to eat.

My heart, enriched by my passion, tempts their hunger.
I have watched my hopes get dashed and kept standing
In the wake of that aftermath. This garden reprimanding
Every belief I had leaving me so broken, to it I’m a danger.

A spark in the verdant growth of deceit and illusions
Leaving not but ash. The serpents tell me their ways,
Destruction or Reconstruction. I’m unsure what I feel.

I sling a bag over my shoulder, walk away from this Hell,
Choose to believe in myself. My heart escaped its shell
Due to the pressure building up. Yet the serpents follow
Closely, awaiting the day I’m no more than a swallow.

It’s kinda funny how the questions we ask don’t really end.
They just force us into moving on so these scars can mend.
fall

Searching For Alexandria

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

All the minutes turn into hours, incarceration;
These years have been taken by my own hand.
Lost in an endless desert. Sinking in the sand
Until bones are bleached white. Devastation.

I began a search for a new library of Alexandria
Knowing that what I find might just be solitude.
Clarity comes at a lesser cost than finding peace
Because a crystal clear river can still be polluted.

Any simple choice can change the outcome.
I wonder, is that what led to the fall of Rome?

If I sacrifice my time to obtain potential knowledge
I’m letting my life burn away in the air like a candle wick.
But I don’t do that. I dream of an Alexandria, a free haven
For every man, and fight to experience a life worth keeping.

At the end I’ll place a book on the shelf in Alexandria.
Great or bad the book is mine. To avoid this hysteria
Thriving within I’ll write on even during a silent feria.
library-future

The Imprint of a Life

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Echoing footsteps reside within the membrane of time,
Far away from this moment. The shadows dance before us
Creating eternity. We are replicated before we are decimated;
I came to see the human you were decay until every truss
Comes undone. Will we fall in the end? Erase this crime.

When I saw a rose I pondered the meaning not the reasoning
And conjured a chasm inescapable. What did you see then?
A stranger? I never felt number. Told to explore then lost
Everyone who couldn’t come this far. My lonely throne. . .

We walk forward upon the long road our hearts pave,
Rain or shine. Fate we’re forced into. My lonely grave. . .

Shifting shadows echo everything we’ve ever done.
Virtues and vices eternal; we are lost
Within the dark as our corpses frost,
We are found every second that we thaw in the Sun.

Running from the tide on our heels we change so much.
The future will drown us all eventually but we run.
We run because it is all we know and we’re out of touch.

Haunted by the skeletons of time I’ll fight my way
Through my own sepulcher until the very last day.
Magic_Sword_Wings_Tattoo_by_Nalavara

The Tempest

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Retelling the tales of glory we once knew.
There was a time we loved but it flew. . .

Away.

A goodness inside faltered. Just stay,
Words that couldn’t bridge this chasm.
We used to fight against life’s illusions
Like heroes unafraid of anything. So, why?
What changed inside your gentle heart?
I will never know what wasn’t said.

These lines felt by each of us the same.
Dreams got shattered and we ran away.
Friends dragged out to these sea spray
Waters and depths; the day the tides came.

Fearless men now soaked and shivering cold
Never saw the storm. We did what we were told
But, the truth had vanished from our own hold.

I started a journey to unlearn the path
That led to this tempest. Seeking truth.

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The Tempest ~ Ivan Aivazovsky, 1886