The Fleeting Dream

The steady frequency at which a heart beats
Stands out. What truth remains without
It? Dead silence. I set and aim the sight.
A quaint calmness that eventually retreats.

Pull the trigger and set the path,
We undoubtedly enter the water
Where sound and breath vanish.
Lay to rest the yearning inside.
In a hollow cavity tuck away
From the harsh weather outside
A single reminder aches endlessly.
Life is but a fleeting dream.

Will you please reach your hand up to the stars,
Don’t be afraid. Our bodies are ridden with scars.

The words shatter through the barrier between you and I.
When the day is split by the colors in the sky
Do you feel ashamed? No, so lets find a place for us to lay.
sa;bdry

Of These Passing Stars; Part VI

“The experiments conclude that there is no easy way to balance the two energies within you. We really should find an alchemist with the knowledge about the Marks of the Forsaken Brothers. More specifically we are after disciples of Pan and Karthentrex. The intelligence branch sent me details on a lead north of Dragacia. Do you have anything left to do in the capital?” the doctor taps his foot and anxiously glances at the door.

“One thing. This needs to be off the records though. My sources spotted Ariex, my brother, and arranged a meeting. He worked with alchemists of the sect we need. If you want I can go by myself.”

“No. My duty is to watch you . Even if we raided a garrison I’d have to be your accomplice because the High General hates loose ends. Screw him but I have my orders.”

“Damn. I’ll be ready in a second Raejak just get the one device I’ve seen you used to sneak out.”

“I know not what you speak about Synji. I’m a good medical doctor of the Royal Protectorate who respects the Mist Ban.”
“And we totally aren’t the only regiment who uses Mist Alchemists. The taboo is stupid and everyone knows that. Society uses the alchemists unjustly to hide the true issues we face. My brother left the Royal Protectorate for that reason. I envy his strength for walking away from what’s wrong.”

Raejak tosses his arms up then walks into the other room. A few books fall to the ground. He curses the realm of physics for scheming against him since the day he learned about the Mists. He tosses a little metal orb with engravings all over its surface. I glance at the surface and realize there is a map of the capital on it.

“Synji where do we need to head? Also grab my shirt because I don’t think you’ll want to walk there.”

“District Nine.”

He turns the orb until he finds the place. A ray of light emerges from a hole and touches Raejak’s eye. The light thickens up until his eye can’t be seen. Suddenly light rays shoot off from the first one then crisscrosses around Raejak and me. I get all dizzy but hold tightly to Raejak’s sleeve like an anchor.

We appear in a filling bathtub with two naked men in it. Me and Raejak stare at each other for a few seconds. One of the men gets all angry while the other hides his junk with his hand. We start laughing uncontrollably. The angry man punches Raejak in the face making him fall out of the tub.

I get out and grab Raejak by the leg then pull him to the door. The two men keep watching us. We both put our index fingers over our mouths and shush them. When we get out of their house we begin laughing again. Strangers give us mean glances. Raejak finally stands up and I pat his back.

“The town never changes. We get looked at like some disreputable vagabonds. Decades of isolationism but society is the same. It is a wondrous quandary!” exclaims Raejak.

“Raejak, shut up. These people have been controlled by things they barely question. We have competitive sports, competitive politics, competitive jobs, competitive beliefs, and competitive everything. They wouldn’t realize equality and respect if they slapped them in the face.” I grab a cigarette and light it.

“What’s your proof?”

“Look over there. A crime scene where someone got shot. There is an angry crowd standing over there blaming injustice. It isn’t that and they should know that. History says there was a time when people didn’t even have to mass together to express how they felt. We have lived in the same world for centuries. They have much to be happy about but no they all want to extrapolate the situation for their egos. Kind of tragic if you ask me.” I puff out a cloud of smoke.

“You have a point. I just wonder how others see it. Do they truly believe they’re right or were they never taught to think? Education is the first step towards leading a better life. The education system keeps getting worse. Less free thinking and more memorization. All the schools do is perpetuate the problems. Some good teachers still try but the majority just do what they’re told. When in war for us soldiers we must follow our general’s orders no matter what. If we don’t we are labeled deserters. And if we follow the orders and it creates a travesty we’re labeled tyrants. Both things are wrong but society gets to dictate what’s right or wrong.”

“People need to just walk away. Follow your heart and if you’re wrong accept it then move on. And if it gets too hard take a nap. Everything will be better when you awake.”

“I’m not sure laziness is what we need.”

“Would you rather be a lazy bum or someone who only does what he is told?”

“Valid point King of Sloth. Well go find your brother I’m going to drink this bottle of wine and take a nap. Use the code phrase to wake me up.”

“What code!?!”

“The High General’s wife is a slut.”

“Really? That’s the code? Fine! Just don’t go into the brothel because I’m not pulling you out of that diseased cesspool.”

“Probably was caused by the High General’s wife.”

“You don’t like him do you?”

“Fuck you. Go talk to Ariex and remember the code. It’ll save your life.”

sa;bdry

A Desertside Tragedy

The desiccation of our race
Comes at our hands. Scripture
Written in blood. Left in terror
Everyone drowns in silence.

We were dancing along to the currency
Love affair unaware of this life. The day
Came for the curtains to draw at last.
When it did a grand tragedy played out.

Walking hand in hand? The reality known
Had nothing but lies woven into a crown.

I seek a resolution to this dissolution,
The technicality in turning back time.
Nothing can reverse a bullet in flight
But you knew that. What’s the crime
For holding on? It’s your one true right.
Hold onto the beautiful things in your day
That will always and forever light your way.
Listen not to the words others might say.
If they walk away find some shade to lay.

A true tragedy takes willing participants
Who let emotion win. I know we have wants
And our hearts burn but open your eyes.
The world is changing under blue skies.

If you sink you’ll drown. Take my hand,
We need to get away! They chase
Us down even if across foreign land.
In time these tragedies might erase.

Our choices they differ but we’re family.
Humanity is a family so hurting is silly.

sa;bdry
MAJI ~ People who care just because it’s the right thing to do.

The Wound of Time

One, two, three; the Universe moves forward
Across what is perceived as eternity. Where
Does one find their place in this race? I swear
I’m nowhere at all and sinking into what I feared.

“Look up.” Two words keeping me afloat
In this ocean of space and time. It may be cold
Within me but I’ll always offer this old coat.

Those words somehow warm me up still.
Perhaps every heart has cracks to fill.

A wound there since forever. Someday it heals
Leaving you somewhere new. Somewhere
Where happiness is. A beach covered in shells
And a gentle tide washing the bright shore.

Where do I belong? Tell me the choice is mine
But understand this. . .I don’t want to be alone.

Sit with me in the wound of time. Get lost
Until you never question why. With a sigh
Let go of the game of chance and don’t lie
To your heart. From now on forget the cost.
heart-on-fire

Embedded Chains, Thorns of Remembrance

Can I just see the truth? A question haunting
Me like a specter. Oh, the banshees will sing
The refrain of my hallowed breathing. They
remember what I don’t and it is in what I say.

But the specter still drifts endlessly. A heartfelt melody
Unheard. If it can then just let it fade away, my remedy.

Screams echo through this rundown chapel
Carrying the force of emotions. Devotion
Was common here until the day the bell rang no more.
It was on the day of a wedding. The lovers who swore
Their lives together but it felt like treason.
A beautiful flower until you reach the last petal.

What came on that day? The truth entombed.
Eyeless groomsmen and handless bridesmaids;
We danced to the times for we were damned.

Ill touched wineglasses resting in sight.
Magically entranced by shining moonlight
We took but a sip of Death’s love on that night.
One by one we join the curtain call as our last right.

Who am I? A shifting illusion in the Sun’s rays,
An unsung bell on a thin rope, that never strays.

a_lost_soul_trapped_by_nichofsky-d5yjx6g
Source

 

 

 

Of These Passing Stars; Part III

The words I write come to life in my mind. I witness the light of everything yet the dark remains. Without darkens we would never know what light is. But the magnificent stories I see within tell of overcoming the darkness in human hearts. Through wandering eyes is how a story of another world begins upon our own.


     Dew falls from the leaves of trees like teardrops as I race with my men towards another battlefield. Mud kicks up with every step our horses take covering the tree trunks and scaring away small animals. The sky clouds over to block the Sun. Our eyes keep focus on the billowing smoke in the distance.

My hands shake with fear and I readjust them for what feels like the hundredth time. The other men hold their heads downcast knowing death awaits some of us. A lieutenant studies the map of the land noticing that the land is different. Fear is a part of what we do for the Royal Protectorate.

The Royal Protectorate has many branches. Some branches are nobler than others but they make a single tree. Documents say the organization exists in opposition of tyranny. Us soldiers don’t think in as grand of notions as our superiors because we have one thing worth fighting for, our homes.

A few months ago a special unit was made to subdue alchemists in the nation of Dragacia. Alchemists are people born with a connection to something known as the Mists. The truth behind their origins is well hidden. I could care less about the alchemists because people are people and there are both good and bad people. Our superiors decided they are too dangerous and unpredictable.

Give humans more power and their true nature emerges. Their sinful nature will destroy everything we have made. We must control them, study them, and decide the best action. A speech given by the commander of the Royal Protectorate. Words and allegations condemned people from living their lives. My unit feels uncertain about the way this is being dealt with.

We can’t bear to talk about it. Our missions are more important than dividing the public. I have seen an alchemist go berserk only because of persecution and for that one event they’re judged. What of our cruel words that push them towards the ledge? But the Royal Protectorate swears the monsters are them. Only my unit knows where the real monsters exist.

Centuries ago when the human empire collapsed something was created. A weapon created to shatter the connection alchemists have to the Mists. The connection is in every human but that was a theory until the weapon detonated on their city. Technology that could magnify the energy in the connection, compress it, and release it. They created a bomb.

A third of the Earth was swallowed by the explosion. Mist radiation followed the air currents. The radiation wasn’t lethal but it changed the ecosystem rapidly. No records written from that event until three centuries ago meaning we lost a millennium.

People have tales explaining why. I don’t buy into any of them. My men and I fight abominations made from mist radiation. I think for a millennium humanity fought these things. Their numbers dwindle but they wander near towns like starving wolves. We took upon the task of eradicating them but we have no clue how many there are or if they can breed.

I close my eyes trying to think. Something huge knocks me off my horse. My eyes open and I stare at the clouds above wondering why I can never rest. I unsheathe my blade to stab the ground for balance. A beast made of shadows stands before me and in the shadows I could see faces drowning. One of men lays under a foot of the beast and the cracking of his bones echoes inside my head.

“Men we came here to wipe this creature from existence. If we don’t it’ll kill more than just us. See the souls captured in its shadows? Death is only the start of the pain it’ll inflict. The three alchemists need to stand behind me. I’ll give you time to cleanse the wound but if I survive tell me what these truly are.” I rally my soldiers the best I can.

“That’s a big if General Niteblade! But this won’t be easy like the last few. It is thriving off of dark emotions of the victims to create a shield. And we have no idea how to destroy that.” shouts one of the alchemists.

“Well fuck what am I supposed to do?” the lumbering beast darts at us but I raise my swords just in time to deflect the blow.

“Improvise!” screams everyone even the lieutenant.sa;bdry

Of These Passing Stars; Part II

I walked away towards a little tree. The shade reflected the color of my heart. A bottle of vodka rested against the tree and the shows danced upon the glass. I squinted at the gleam and realized I was finally alone. My hands opened the bottle as I stared out across the city and above to see the lonely skyline.

The alcohol washed down my throat with a familiar burn. I placed the bottle down and searched for my notebook. Every feeling I had felt like energy coursing through me. Calmness washed over me then I smiled from my heart after what has been so long. The heart divided from my body started to reconnect. Few friends witnessed the real me who emerges when I find peace in me.

What happened to the days when I never cared? The lessons I learned from life haven’t all been fair. A gentle and loving heart restricted by a roll of the dice. Was that what changed everything though? A heart without scars built walls against others one day. What created this kingdom within?

I was told to do what I was told. They watched me play along to their own tune but never witnessed my heart. Deep inside of me their words never reached. I discovered what meant a lot to me and that was enough for me, love and beauty. The skin-deep beauty wasn’t my desire because true beauty awaits within. Such as the words I wrote from then to now have contained the most beauty I’m capable of.

When I needed help I was too arrogant to ask. A heavy depression lingered within my head. Happiness was hard to find from anywhere. I screwed a lot of things up by self-medicating. My choices welcomed disaster. But I shattered through that depression by being one arrogant fool. I understood others faced worse but to me I needed to look deep inside because drugs couldn’t fix me.

Even now I still struggle with finding happiness in the things others enjoy. It makes me feel like an outcast. But today I have reasons to fight on through how I feel. Friends who I want to make laugh even by being completely ridiculous. A family I need to let know that I can live my own life and they don’t need to worry. My lover who I want to discover a better us with and never let her down even when I find myself afraid.

They’re the reason I write. Every beautiful thing in life they might never see I’ll open their eyes. I’m not the type to place coins on the eyes of the dead because I want to go on living. Rest silently brothers and sisters underground or forgotten because I’ll live in appreciation of everything.

So open up your eyes and witness the Universe all around you.
sa;bdry

A Sword Raised to Protect

Resting on these laurels
As if they change something.
I enter from a flourishing Spring
Into a drought. Failing morals.

Sinful recant in the shade under a blistering star
That has been there long before any man. A scar
In the sky during this drought. Distance to walk is far
Between the shadows of trees. There will be a war
And I’ll be the only casualty today, this I swear.
When all I try to do is earn respect even by a hair,
Such a small amount, but I lack so much. A thick tar
Pours over me but to others I am the same from afar.

Chasing what comes undone
Because I still hear that tone.

Do you think I’ll never move from here?
How can it be that clear? My own heartstrings
Plucked until they were out of tune. I raise my voice
And they let me suffer for it. All I want is someone
Who has faith in me. Is that really it? In part maybe.
I want to prove to myself that I’m not in the wrong.
Do they prey on my weakness? Family and friends.
How can I trust when nothing goes right? From my sight
I go blind. The uncertainty deceives my heart and mind.
Lonely. A raised voice passes through the walls
Surrounding my true self. They never even notice that.
Saying how I feel would be like placing a powder keg
Within a burning chapel. No trust, bottled up feelings,
Judgment passes over, self loathing ensues; I slip away.
This event goes on repeat forcing me to feel defeat
Even when I return day after day. Is this my own insanity?

So many questions I’ll never be able to answer
And I know that. The truth has turned into a blur.

A final choice remains. What to do with this life of mine?
Can’t expect respect if I do nothing. I must do what I want
And prove who I am to myself. I’ll rise up to fight like a gallant
Knight who raises his sword to protect. In the end I’m just fine.
sa;bdry

I’m Fallen Not Broken

What is right and what is wrong?
I thought I could find it on a long
Journey through life. Am I strong
Enough to finally recite a song?

The song of who I am. Caught
Up in the words of yesterday
But I try going forward. Do others
See me falling back or rising up?
There is so much more. If only
They’d open their eyes and see me.

Screaming to lift this lonely rope
From my neck. I am here. They say
That respect is something you pay
A price for. I’m just trying to cope.

The real me wants some rest
But everyday I’m put to a test.

What if I surrender? What if I snap?
My heart beats so I face what I know,
But is that all there is? I’m so numb!

I want to dream again. All the pain
In this world I hate. If I were to say no
What would they even do? The rain
Falls if I win or lose. Say get ready, go;
I’ll be waiting here for a derailed train.

Every time I reached for a hand I fell
From an emotional cliff. I never drowned
So I return trying to right the past. Crowned
By my regrets, thorns, I can already tell
I’m never going back into the cold ocean.
They say I’m distant but that is my devotion
To all of the true hearts we can never sell.

I cared so much but they let me fall below.
So I vow for life that I’ll never be that shallow.
sa;bdry

The Fire We Tend, Love

Softly my hand leads the way
Through the night. Whatever I say
Is enchanted by the moonlight. To pay
The price of stealing your breath away
Is to remain here and watch life decay.
And so I ask you to teach me a new way.

Walking between bullets and hearts.
Teach me to dance in the brightest darkness
And how your smile is the light of Heaven.
I’m unworthy but I’ll prevail just
To chase your light for eternity.

Every single day we make our kingdoms.
I’m so uncertain, the true fear,
But I continue despite my feelings.
And at night I stare at ceilings
To wonder why I’m here.
Do you feel the same despite the idioms?

Sometimes I wonder if I was a better man
If this life would be the same. The mistakes
Are mine and I am in debt to them to the end.

Rest your heart right here. I’ll be here
As long as I can to chase away your fear.

Stars shine when you don’t even see them.
Why can’t we dream like that? This life
Given to us awaits for a single spark
And soon the flames will dance so high.
Remember this one little thing forever and ever:

A flame can spread. . .
heart-on-fire