Category: Activist

The Mists: An Innovation of Faith and Science

by Desnei, posted in Activist, Poetry

“The tragic world we live in held me for a while.
All tragedies must eventually end. And I smile.”

Drenched in sorrow she poured the gasoline
Over her church clothes. A lit cigarette burned
Her world to only ashes. Her friends begged
For answers but they know the dead never tell.

What came of her after that departure? Forget
Everything you know and let me create the set.

A beautiful collection of memories, the cultivation
Of the lives we live. Beings made of the Universe
Experience vastly different memories. To collect
Data a dimension exists beyond space and time.
When this voyager found her material body inefficient
Every memory transferred over. Her consciousness
Awoke in an unknown yet comforting place. On a boat
Floating over calm waters at dawn she finally sleeps.

When she awakes there’s herself she must face
Until her metaphysical wounds heal. It’s no race
Because life’s never easy and has no set pace.

sa;bdry
The idea that the Universe is God and organisms exist as his senses.

A Radial Perception

by Desnei, posted in Activist, Poetry

From a single point the geometry is drawn.
I seek truth but it is more like reversing time
To find the origin of divergence, life’s dawn.

I stand behind a blade with a resolute face
In pursuit of more than I might ever know.
The lines extend from our opinions, erase
Each of them until the truth falls like snow.

Will I be alone in the whitest of snowfalls?
There can be many points within radials.

radvectors
To find the truth is to cross what we know. . .

Accepting the Earth

by Desnei, posted in Activist, Poetry

All the arrows shatter to a volley of bullets. Is this peace
Or a charade? From their plans to their coup de grâce.

Iron gritting against stone. Each spark is a dream
More like a blossom caught by the howling wind.
We’ve fallen behind the line drawn in our bodies
To dictate between what’s real and what we feel.

I followed the lessons I’ve been taught to see with new eyes.
They analyze what has materialized before me. Of blue skies
And broken hearts I try to concentrate on my life that defies.

The crystalline towers reaching skyward deceive your intentions.
If the only way out is running. . .I don’t want out. We must face
Our own monsters or history will repeat. What we can’t erase
Must be the truth but we’ll never know until we face our demons.

The battlefield between Heaven and Hell, glorious ideals,
Is fought on Earth. I took to the blade with no understanding
To why I cut down where Hell grows. What happens to here
When one side finally wins? I’ll pick the Earth and its flaws.

I tried to live in the maelstrom that never, ever made landfall.
From this day I see a break of light in the darkened sky above.

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To Face This Life

by Desnei, posted in A City of Glass, Activist, Rise of the First Blight
Still working on my first novella little by little. Everyday I find myself thinking about the plot. At a point I needed a break from writing it. The problem was created when I asked myself very honest questions. For example:
 
What is best for a person to do?
 
To lose yourself in the duty of others; to do what is expected of yourself; to live for something greater. I understand these points of view but I seek so much more. The closest to truth I found is in a quote from Gautama Buddha.
 
“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.”
 
In the novella a man makes a promise to never resort to violence like the people who destroyed the life he once had. The friend he promised that to dies in his arms before he could tell her his true feelings. His world keeps turning on him but for this promise he’ll keep living on.
 
I started wondering about what that would feel. Reality will set in and each day will just get harder than the last. The truth is I am unsure if I could keep my word. True love stays around forever. She left a mark on him that cannot be erased. What if he uses violence to protect those hurt? Truthfully humanity talks in ideals. The truth should be unprecedented but simple like breathing.
The novella started teaching me more about life. I decided that maybe I need to understand much more before this novella can be. My poetry took root during that time of indecision. The plot of the novella haunted me each time I started to write. Life started creating more struggles for me to overcome. I lost a lot of things and thought I’d never recover.
Many of these lost things weren’t selfish. Strength of my muscles declining, body pain, and faith in what I promised to loved ones. I silenced my voice because I’m ready for the fight of a lifetime. To write about love and never reach it. . .to hold the hand of someone who wants to stay. Nobody will help me reach the girl I truly love and at least she tells me she truly loves me too. Every day I traverse leads me closer.
Will she or eternity catch me first?
Everyone tells me to enjoy what I have. I’m living in stasis, a pale dream of the greater whole. I try learning new things, dreaming of a happy day, believing time is on my side, and realizing I lie to myself. These lies ate everything I am. Until I can break free from them I’ll never understand how the novella ends. The pain keeps me from writing sometimes. And now I know why.
Life wants me to act even if I’m scared. FUCK IT, I WILL CHASE WHAT I BELIEVE IN UNTIL MY FINAL BREATH.
sa;bdry

If tomorrow is darkness would yesterday be illuminated?

by Desnei, posted in Activist, Poetry

Footprints in the mud after the snow has melted away are easily lost with the tides of time.

In the darkness they wander around.
Their ears heard a familiar sound.

A past lover? Their old hearts? The virus inside
Cannot be stopped for there’s no longer a cure.
Events of yesterday resonate. Of this I’m sure.
Caught in regret, undertow where hearts reside.

If tomorrow is darkness would yesterday be illuminated?

The light, it can burn if we ever find ourselves too close.
With some distance and patience we can plant a rose.

Sometimes the light haunts when others try moving on
And their days begin to waste away. Every road out
Blocked by memories that will never fade. Be strong.
They can feel more like monsters that invoke hysteria.

I’m no stranger to those monsters. They stand in my way
From time to time. Someday I’ll find all the words to say.

Like how I just did what I thought was best. All these tears
Both sides have shed linger with me each and every day
Even when I try to forget. And that’s just the price I’ll pay
To the ferryman. Charon, take me away from these piers.

Although the footprints disappeared the memories never do. They can turn into fondness or regret so easily. Sometimes they dictate the path we take in life. Are you lost chasing after a smile or a mistake? Don’t get too lost in what’s said and done but never forget what brought you here. Keep moving forward.

darkl

The Darklight Trinity (Existence + Effect = Data)

by Desnei, posted in Activist, Poetry

An exuberant feeling washes over what I once
Was. The heart in me suffocated, asphyxiated,
Until I found a deeper truth. The Darklight Trinity.
This equation written on the edge of shadows.

When existence blooms, evidence traveling outwards;
Meet me at the horizon where information accumulates.

Can we dance there? Behind the starlight and pale moonlight
A beautiful symphony plays. In these eyes the sound enters
Her being til understanding unravels. After endless Winters
Hearts have grown so cold but hope remains true every night.

An equation that can either bring hope or despair. In my eyes
The thoughts have illuminated deep. Others found themselves
Lost among the radiance as if they were kept in the shadows.

To dance on the critical mass of information traversing time and space
Or to run away into the empty darkness of dead stars. Create or erase.

Just choose. . .

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To Be Free is to Choose

by Desnei, posted in Activist, Poetry

Existence has no chains at all for a beast to tighten
Yet, the beast can loosen what was already there.
An entirely new story through a choice can be written.

That’s the beauty in being. Every single choice holds
Another universe in place at its roots. My only strength
To make my way through all these entangled events;
A noose hugging my neck. There is no certainty here.

I never know if I will be safe. Little lies can comfort
Me like they do for everyone else until I walk away.
A missed heartbeat, a step from a chair, a sway
On a cliff ~ I can’t let my dreams be a last resort.

Life can come undone as quickly as spun thread.
Should calipers cut it or should it unwind instead?

I’ll spend my whole being weaving the tapestry unseen.
My life isn’t mine to lead but to witness and to create
A story that only I can tell. Not for society, not for humanity,
Not for faith; I might be unaffiliated with others but I’m free.

chao
Existence has no set path for the Universe is but a forest. . .

Unto the Darkness We Made

by Desnei, posted in Activist, Poetry

The molten metal fuses with twisted magics
And awakens. A serpent entangling lost souls,
Baring its fangs at this world, haunting the night,
And preying on the dearly departed. We forgot. . .

That the darkness stems from within and spreads
Like wildfire. What we give life through our deeds.

Ravenous monsters crossing between reality and dreams.
What we are so obviously blind to rips away at the seams.

All the pain, all the hate, all the lies to keep a false safety
Paint the human existence black with ignorance. Remedy
This affliction of self-torture. Pure hearts are now greedy.

In death we believe there will be peace. For the sinfully blind?
These actions have consequences that will find a way to remind.

I prepare for a fight. We have all failed in some way and the truth won’t fade away with a sip from the river Lethe. Nothing will ever erase what happened lest we lose who we are.

darky
The shadows of ignorance we cast will disperse and the unseen will finally be seen. . .

The Answer

by Desnei, posted in Activist, Poetry, Truth, Who I Am

The stars they fall into the darkness one by one.
Nothingness echoes from the reliquary of life
Across dimensions forged by time and space.

Standing at a hilltop I remember the light
Shining upon pastures of green. That night
Never ends. All the people safe in their homes
Have their simple, beautiful lives. Tomorrow comes.

I thought that they were all fools but I understand
The love of simple things as I reach out my hand.

Will anyone grab my hand before I drift away among the cosmos?
No wings but these eyes of mine capture the dying light of distant stars.
Stuck in orbit I want to drift endlessly with glittering eyes reflecting
Everything ten-fold. I aim to be extraordinary like a shooting star
People wish on as it crosses the horizon from this lonely hilltop.

Take this hand and move me into your glorious orbit. In your arms
I feel safe. Where are we heading? Your glance pierces and disarms.

At the right time everything came together making this single moment.
Is this fate, divine intervention, or chance? All three routes converge
Into one. No answer to be found because the answer is known as life.

cosmic-hilltop.jpg

Before I drift away among the cosmos. . .

 

Question What’s Accepted

by Desnei, posted in Activist, Truth

What if I want to just live on my own terms? Constantly as I grew up people always told me what I should do. Their insights were never wrong but nothing I could ever follow. I’m not saying I plan on being anything new or great. I’ll be the best me I can be and nothing else. When humans try being more than they are they make mistakes and can hurt someone else. That’s no way for me to repay this life I’ve received and my friends.

Maybe I give into my doubt due to fear that I’d lose myself by climbing the rungs of life. The more we gain the more we forget about where we began. How does anyone move forward with that? By believing what awaits them will be better. I no longer believe that things will ever get better and still I saw I look toward tomorrow. That’s just because I only live to see tomorrow even if everything good fades away. Most others dismiss my feelings as depression.

I feel truly alive and great. The reality of any situation shouldn’t stop anyone from living. I wish I could say everything will be alright but life has always been a gamble. High risk and high reward. I’m no betting man I can’t put everything on the line because I have things left to do. Does the path I walk have any neon lights? No. I don’t know what the things I have left to do are either. Truthfully a lot of time wasted thinking about what I’m after.

Life should be lived and cherished for the miracle it is. Nothing should be more grand than the existence we crawl into. But humanity lies to itself about progress in an attempt to further wealth. Tell me, is life all about serving those who control through wealth, power, and manipulation? The simple lives aren’t at fault. What’s at fault is human greed. People complain about the petty things but that divides the whole human race further while the wealthy gain from our pain. Sounds like I’m saying we should bet everything against them. . .I’m not. We need to live our lives and show that we will never give up.