To Learn

Sometimes I start feeling like the worst
When remembering catastrophes I created.
The good left desecrated. Flowers wilting
After they bloom. My heart rejects that time.

A time I didn’t know myself. You’re right,
I did terrible things and I can’t fix the past.
These memories sting but they won’t last
If my heart keeps beating to find the light.

No matter what I’ll be prepared for a fight
When it comes my way. Sorry, I failed you
Yet I call on that for the strength I’m lacking.

“I moved on.” The lie everyone says once in a while.
Nobody can forget what they gave just to see a smile.
Is that all gone? Regrets force us to change. (No denial!)
learning

Searching for Clairvoyance

So little are these beliefs I carry.
They feel like rocks in my hands
And I am left with a decision.
Should I try to build once more?

Every time I built this to the sky
It fell down, to discover my fear.

You don’t just walk away from that.
The fear takes residence in the heart
Leaving me lost and shivering. Why?
I’ll ask it again like a razor to flesh.
Put it down. The body craves the fear
And I’ve become a vessel of addiction.

I start searching for what I can’t see anymore.
Along the way my eyes have been blinded;
Beliefs and memories distort reality’s plane.
Looking for someone who clears up my vision.

We all seek clairvoyance. The thoughts in our heads
Keep us imprisoned. Show someone the way back
To Earth because we’re drifting in outer space.
Until that day we remain asleep as time moves.

fear_by_akirakirai-d37teev
Picture by akirakirai

 

 

The Dimetri Uterna (The Dimension of All)

Have you had regrets on a choice already made?
Most likely. You’ll feel that way once in a while
But people push pass that. Just as the Nile
Will never see Cleopatra again things will fade.

For now that’s what we can understand
But doesn’t make it true. Grains of sand
Aren’t aware of the desert but it does exist.
What are we unaware of? Don’t try to resist.

The unknown will always be a thick miasma
Filling our every breath with true brilliance.

Every choice has been exhausted. We burn like a wick
Inside a lantern to brighten the path cloaked in night.
Every shard of time frozen, eternally awaiting ascension
Of consciousness, bathes the dark path in an afterglow.
All the timelines converge to grant us clairvoyance.

Falling into the Dimetri Uterna once more.
Before existence it was full of darkness
But no longer. The light heals every sore
Life created. We’ll reach our own potential.

The unknown will always be a thick miasma
Filling our every breath with true brilliance.

There is no telling what awaits beyond here and now
Even with all the blind faith in the world. As the crow
Flies we push onward to survive even if we do fly low.

Don’t let that be all you do. A glorious universe
Blesses everything with radiation from gamma rays
Released in the death of giant stars. Nothing stays
For long but the moments echo their own verse.

Can you hear them? The undead memories
Of a dying Universe refusing to disappear.
A Universe that never wanted to be alone
Created us all. Can you hear the happiness?

As we stare at the stars in the sky we’ll remember
How little we actually are then enter our slumber.
falcon

The Unseen Chains / Comfortless

Thinking about the reasons for existence. I have always known that the point of existence is to exist but, what if there’s more to it? All the choices end up painting an image of existence. The truth in that should be enough for comfort. I can’t find the comfort because something feels off. A monumental tower of questions stands in my path.

I enter the gates of the tower and hear them close behind me. This pilgrimage of mine leaves me hollow and ragged. The voices of gods and men matter not when I delve further into the uncertainty. Every second that passes ultimately leaves me further behind everyone else. I still remember the first question.

“Do you see life as a race or a journey?”
54aa7a83afd0515f6dab3a3bc97121b8t.

Never Let This Fade Away

Grand schemes direct the mannequins
Like an orchestra. Sent to chase the light,
Can they see their folly in denying a gift?
I’m not unlike them with all these sins.

We have all let others down in the past
And maybe today as well. I won’t say
Any excuses because this is the way it is
If we never push away from what we know.
The faith given to me melted away as snow
When this Winter ends. Seasons in this
Mind of mine follow no set rules. Decay
Eternalized. I search for a Spring to last.

A place where life never ends. My fantasy
Translates into a dream eternal. I shiver
From the icy betrayal of life, a dagger
In my back. How do I say forever this easy?

I knew nothingness before life. How can there be more?
Let these memories remain if anything. To God I swore.

The things I forget are many. Will her face fade away?
Tears fall from my eyes for I’m afraid to lose this.
Sinful is my heart aching in hunger of the truth
As it rips asunder the world I know. Am I even alive?

I knew nothingness before life. How can there be more?
Let these memories remain if anything. To God I swore.

Neuroses plague me as a flock of demons circling like vultures.
I’m far beyond Heaven and Hell now. Light is the carefree mind,
Darkness is the cloudy mind; the primal forces are my chains.

I’ll love with this heart and fear with this mind.
A chaotic existence I live to see events rewind
Because I want to see that smile. A strong wind
Inside carries me forward. . .I can’t fall behind.
eternity

Fireburst, A Melody of My Heart

Trying hard to impress; beautiful
In success, ugly in failure. A story
To write onto bones day by day.
Lines drawn leave an emptiness.

I tell myself I’m good but digress inside.
Afraid and taunted I feel fire like a tide.

Build the pyre higher. Reaching to the dark skies
Where stars no longer shine. Light pollution,
I can no longer find my way with these unfit eyes.
The sparkling city feels like artificial isolation.

Celestial tears fade away within. Dreams seize up,
Body goes stiff. I can’t bear this curse any longer.
Getting back up, blood pushing through; reborn.

A fiery passion arises. I come face to face with my fate
But rejected it. If this flame remains I’ll soon detonate
Like a time bomb. Before I came to help way too late
And saw the battle lost. This war remains. Now I’m irate.

Watch the flower blossom, a fireburst taking over.
When pushed to the line I return stronger than ever.

I wish in the end that we’ll be cleansed of this war’s taint!
When the dead rise we have gone too far. My undead heart
Fuels a battle cry you’ll soon feel rushing through. A blade
Pierces fragile flesh as we shake and scream for this life.

In this love we can’t ever give up. That’s what you told
Me way back when. I’ll be the fireburst that will hold
You in fiery warmth if your heart and soul ever go cold.
heart-on-fire

The Reason / Remembrance

I remember you. The only words I can find since you left this world. Many details about you I will never know but, what I do know is the kindness you showed to me. You spoke about God often. The days we’d spend talking about Heaven being a grand tavern hosting an eternal festival. You gave the sunshine a purpose as a blessing light. I feel blessed by the light even now.

Can you feel your kindness carry on inside of me? I’ll give it to others like you did for me. If the world uses kindness then everyone might one day be blessed by the sunshine you showed me. Others don’t understand why I live the way I do. I know you wouldn’t question or disrespect my life choices.

They can think whatever they want as long as I keep going with a smile. When the going gets tough I get tougher but not until then. Preparing for the inevitable will never be my way to live because I understand life. Thank you for giving me the light I needed on the inside.

Let me be the radiance of God’s love. Maybe not the god you knew but the combined existence of everything. I’ll radiate the kindness you, a shard of God, taught me.
sa;bdry

Scarlet and Cyan Lines

Scarlet lines decorating the marble floor
When the eyes come out, the blind kin.
What they’ll tell you is naught but sin
Disguised. Just show them the door.

If you listen you’ll die before God comes
To rip every sinful fiber from your damned body.

What remains? Are you nothing but darkness?
Shadows casting where the throne sits;
Your heart of thorns must burn and to ash!
I called you a friend but you never could be.
You could never be me. The truth will slash
Through every lie ever made. Take hits
Until you feel fear inside absolute hopelessness.

But truthfully there is just us. God and the Devil
Get you second after me. Every lie you speak
Condemns you. Others will let you be. Not I.
Who told you it was alright to hurt others?
Not any god, not any man with a good heart;
By listening to the teachings of bad, evil men.
How could you have known what evil was
When evil is the norm? Greed is the true sin.

Please take what you need and stop, moderation.
We will find ourselves cleaner at the destination.

An army doesn’t scare me. Fill me with lead
If you must but more will rise to rebel. Eternal
Radiance will break through these long shadows.

Cyan lines trail down the cheeks of the loving kind
Who still believe in Humanity. We never fall behind,
We help those in need, we sacrifice our lives
For others, and we care. So put down the knives.

I’ll step in when you can no longer back down. . .
51464-national-honor-society-quotes

At The Mercy of Fate

Across the shatter sky I saw
A burst of light. I knew it was you.
The warmth inside found a chill
That only you could conjure up.

Today I know you’re safe and
Tomorrow I’ll await a sign.
How will you tell me? I wonder.
Hope drives me on as it dwindles.
Eternally I fall for your soft words,
Ephemeral kisses I wish to taste.

Monumental display of compassion
Materializing from my own sacrifice.
Eyes tell about the true love we seek
Endlessly. We are torn. Tell me are you
Ready? To wrought a path from thorns.
Requiem of the Heart: Your cute smile
Creates a lightness I was always without.
Centuries of choices led to us standing here
Yelling our hearts into the open air.
Years will go by and we will grow together.

Obsolete hands interwoven. Know that I will
Fight to hold on to this love, our city on a hill.

Fires still rage deep inside
After the first time we kissed.
Take me from where I hide,
Enter the world I have missed.
heart-on-fire