The Answer

The stars they fall into the darkness one by one.
Nothingness echoes from the reliquary of life
Across dimensions forged by time and space.

Standing at a hilltop I remember the light
Shining upon pastures of green. That night
Never ends. All the people safe in their homes
Have their simple, beautiful lives. Tomorrow comes.

I thought that they were all fools but I understand
The love of simple things as I reach out my hand.

Will anyone grab my hand before I drift away among the cosmos?
No wings but these eyes of mine capture the dying light of distant stars.
Stuck in orbit I want to drift endlessly with glittering eyes reflecting
Everything ten-fold. I aim to be extraordinary like a shooting star
People wish on as it crosses the horizon from this lonely hilltop.

Take this hand and move me into your glorious orbit. In your arms
I feel safe. Where are we heading? Your glance pierces and disarms.

At the right time everything came together making this single moment.
Is this fate, divine intervention, or chance? All three routes converge
Into one. No answer to be found because the answer is known as life.

cosmic-hilltop.jpg

Before I drift away among the cosmos. . .

 

Righteous & Blind (The Human Condition)

I cross a foggy valley full of forgotten terrors without fear.
Vines lace the cliffs; mindless beasts wander; the fog
Obscures my sight. Every breath lulls me toward madness
But I keep my feet moving. I selfishly cling to my own life.

When the path is unknown what else can be done?
Step by step, risk by risk; I’m striving to atone
For the promises I couldn’t keep. I’m not set in stone.

Terrible things lunge at me and I stay calm as I fight through.
Fear would leave me for dead like everyone who came before.
I won’t be another tombstone laid in the ground. If I wash ashore
From this Hell who would say that the sky will remain blue?

Everyone is familiar with gray clouds and stormy weather.
The sky remains blue behind all the curtains in the theater!

What does it matter where I’ve been? It’s about where I’m heading.
Every deep valley finds me blind as I reach for the memories,
A blue sky with clouds slowly drifting by. Nothing will ever stop me.

I’m one of the terrors that reside here. Selfishly reaching for the light
No matter the cost, chasing a dream that’s been so long out of sight.

Wraiths (Stories Untold)

The dark shadows and rays of light transpose
Within this plane. All the dreams left to compose
Haunt the open air from the throes of the rising
Sun, throughout the day, after the last horizon.

Always. The journey across the three dimensional plane
Comes with heavy trials. Should you take a leap of faith?
Somethings might feel right and others wrong. Pouring rain
And sunny days exist but it’s the choices that will create a wraith.

To stand where so many choices come by but unable to grab
Them all. These small hands can only hold so much in the end.

Everyday the wraiths wander around me and I watch
Them as if they’re birds. I have walked down the path
I believed in but they remain here day by day. The wrath
Of untold stories burdens me as I release the iron latch.

Witnessing possibilities untold a magic can be found
In these different frames of time. New realities resound.

4e_wraith

Question What’s Accepted

What if I want to just live on my own terms? Constantly as I grew up people always told me what I should do. Their insights were never wrong but nothing I could ever follow. I’m not saying I plan on being anything new or great. I’ll be the best me I can be and nothing else. When humans try being more than they are they make mistakes and can hurt someone else. That’s no way for me to repay this life I’ve received and my friends.

Maybe I give into my doubt due to fear that I’d lose myself by climbing the rungs of life. The more we gain the more we forget about where we began. How does anyone move forward with that? By believing what awaits them will be better. I no longer believe that things will ever get better and still I saw I look toward tomorrow. That’s just because I only live to see tomorrow even if everything good fades away. Most others dismiss my feelings as depression.

I feel truly alive and great. The reality of any situation shouldn’t stop anyone from living. I wish I could say everything will be alright but life has always been a gamble. High risk and high reward. I’m no betting man I can’t put everything on the line because I have things left to do. Does the path I walk have any neon lights? No. I don’t know what the things I have left to do are either. Truthfully a lot of time wasted thinking about what I’m after.

Life should be lived and cherished for the miracle it is. Nothing should be more grand than the existence we crawl into. But humanity lies to itself about progress in an attempt to further wealth. Tell me, is life all about serving those who control through wealth, power, and manipulation? The simple lives aren’t at fault. What’s at fault is human greed. People complain about the petty things but that divides the whole human race further while the wealthy gain from our pain. Sounds like I’m saying we should bet everything against them. . .I’m not. We need to live our lives and show that we will never give up.

Where the Mists Began

The Mists, what is it? I guess the material that makes up consciousness. It’s something constantly changing but represents the concept of self. The self is not a certainty. People find who they are through their experiences. A blank canvas represents the Mists and life’s experiences represent the colors of paint on a palette. What they paint; what they become doesn’t matter as long as they live.

I thought of the Mists because I’ve always questioned bloodshed over beliefs. Many times beliefs weren’t at fault but used by others with bigger agendas. But what of the ones who believed in what they did? It’d be very cruel if one set of beliefs held credibility while others didn’t. Without certainty I created the concept of the Mists to move people from a narrow mindedness. Will others follow? Probably not. The contingency of humanity doesn’t gain much from working together against those with bigger agendas. They’re better off believing everything they’ve been told because they’d lose a lot of their comforts. I can spout ideals all my life yet get nowhere with my dedication. Selfishness will undoubtedly lead humanity towards a pinnacle moment where survival and luxury collide.

At that point the Mists took on a new direction as the basis of a fictional story. During my leisure time throughout my high school day I fleshed out the tale. A tragic hero named Desnei conquered death only to find himself cleaning up the mess of a world teetering upon its destruction. His world mirrors the real world in some respects to humanity and how we too teeter upon our destruction. Through his efforts Desnei saved his world some time after sacrificing himself. Without going into too much detail he originally lived during a time where four major cities vied for supremacy despite on paper being united by a World Government.

Two of the cities openly assaulted each other causing many mass exoduses during their hostility. Desnei attempted fleeing with his fiance with a military caravan. They discovered the opposing regiment sent out genetically altered humans after the caravan. Either him or his fiance had to assist a few soldiers in distracting the enemy. Chivalrously Desnei accepted the task and promised he wouldn’t die there. The thing about promises is we sometimes can’t keep them because every step forward has a risk. A risk that we turn and run, we try and fail, or we win this bet. He died.

The Mists welcomed the young man’s consciousness as his body stopped functioning. A question he often struggled with in life displayed itself in a way he could easily relate to. Run away or face the truth? Many humans find themselves caught between these two routes. It’s easy living in one’s limited view of life but harder learning from the views of others. Although the choice decided during life might not be the best in death there’s another chance. Is one path right or wrong? Not entirely. People advance at their own pace. A closed-off view will be safer than exploring the unknown. Taking the step from safety towards uncertainty must be directed by the person living the life no matter how much time might be spent. Desnei stated a great response towards himself at this time:

“You have lived your life and died by a choice to help another live one more day. Will you live on believing everything is alright or face that you’re dead without her? It hurts, yeah it should. You’re upset for obvious reasons but a choice must be made. Look forward instead of behind.”

Ultimately he accepted the reality. The place he entered contained trillions of other consciousnesses existing. Some were good and some were bad. Others told him about the layout of the Mists, the rulers of certain isles, the Fog of Lethe, and so many remarkable things he never believed in. Desnei decided he’d set off towards the nearest ruler named Rintaen but discovered true unrest in the Mists. A large squirmish between men and men with wings erupted over trivial matters. After he made landfall one of the men with wings promptly tossed Desnei and his raft back into the Mists. Unsure what he messed up Desnei drifted between that isle and another until a mysterious man appeared. Kronos.

They talked about the Mists for a long time. Kronos explained that the isles share names with writings from multiple faiths. The two isles nearby deemed Heaven and Hell may have similarities with their religious equivalents but they aren’t the same. This Kronos convinced Desnei that he ferried separated lovers from these isles back together at a cost. Desnei asked him if love could bridge a way back to the real world. Kronos replied:

“Of course love can make that a desire but payment is the means by which I can reunite you with your loved one. I often gather small memories from those seeking love but you’d sacrifice much more. I can’t take all your memories or I’d release a monster into existence. What to do. . .oh wait, a deal that only the living could do. Us figments of the Mist don’t truly exist and because of that we can never enter where you came from. Let me use you for my bidding. I’ll smuggle you to a place where hope doesn’t exist so you can do what’s impossible there. Revive yourself.

If you can’t I’ll bring you back here. She’ll die eventually then you’ll both be reunited and I’ll take a few unnecessary memories. What do you have to lose? Desnei think about what could be done if you returned. You probably wonder others never returned but that’s because I didn’t exist back then. A certain difference in the combined consciousness conjured me. So, what would you do with your renewed life?”
“Cherish every second. I’ll do it.”

That single choice started Desnei down an entirely different route than if he waited. This is what the Rise of the First Blight teaches people. We’re all humans trying our best but sometimes we make foolish choices. Good or bad doesn’t matter because life can become very confusing with all the differing variables. The journey he began here will open a new way for many others, a new set of variables. As a story Rise of the First Blight can be described as daunting for it’s meant to be something that reminds humanity about who we are.

sa;bdry

Take My Hand (Keep Your Heart)

To reach an impossibility one must first do the unexpected.
Take the things learned but then walk towards the unknown
Because no one knows what awaits there. Reach for the sky.
We all look for wings only to find that nothing changes.
A way away from this ordinary existence, a graveyard of hearts.

The undead never rise from their graves. We’re all stuck in standby
Wondering what could be but never is. Is that a place to live and die?

Asking myself what’s the point in this real world. . .rejected, forgotten;
Tears spent over numbness I can’t change; lives lost following others.
I say words of hope but my eyes have another goal in sight like tethers
Holding me suspended above an abyss – carefree hearts not yet rotten.

An abyss of stagnant life where everything withers and crumbles in the wind.
I climbed out of that in search of something more, something true,
Something sweet. Exiled from the normal world by my unchanging heart
I’m left to wander. I’ve seen other hearts flirting with the dark abyss
And find myself with words to say before they drown in that numbness.

“Don’t feel you have to fit in. You can just be you. Change if you must,
Change for those you love and trust. I’ve been there sinking in their words
Until the light of the Sun disappears. It’s scary like you’re drowning.
Take my hand if you aren’t sure. You’re not alone. There’s atoning
For the helplessness found within but first take my hand. Lay down swords,
Let your armor fall, forget the battle; calm down and let your worries rust.

We should let the bad degrade away. Don’t forget it but try to see the way
Everything falls into alignment. Just be yourself and with me you can stay.

I keep leading the way. Do I know for certain? No, I just can’t let others hurt
The way I did. We’ll fall from the graces of society but gain our hearts.
So if you want never conform and join me in building a life up from the dirt.”

Hands, A Path Towards Clarity

The colors of a gradient shift as they bleed from my heart.
Emotions silenced by the demons of who I couldn’t be.
They’ve returned stronger than ever before. To start
Anew I must dissolve all these colors that were never me.

By some chance the man you see won a game of survival,
No it was a race to ever be. We all got here by a little luck.
Watch the stars shine and follow your heart; don’t get stuck
Believing what others say. You’ll find a way, your reprisal.

I listened and fell down as the world kicked me in the stomach.
“I’m perfectly okay. It’s alright.” That’s the cry of a lost man!

Pushed myself further because I wanted to rise.
Bleeding my heart’s fill trying just to remember
That I’m stronger than this. On a cold December
Night I decided that giving up would be unwise.

Caught by the undertow of something larger than my existence
All I can do is swim back up. Every breath reminds us that hands
Are meant to be held not to hold grudges. We will never forget!

Never forget the human kindness that heals every wound made.
Fallen but not lost for I see the way. I can’t let myself just fade. . .

sa;bdry
Humanity must rise together. . .

Ignorance, A Curse of Stone

All these sundry lives lead the way back
To a land forgotten from current sight,
A home for each and every tear and smile lost
Along the way towards both growth and undoing.

The path remains shrouded in fog
As everyone finds a way to continue.
Nobody knows what awaits just ahead
But here we enter, here we shall tread.
Restless in our wake trying to redo
What we’ve messed up in life’s log.

Petrified by regrets eating away at the mind.
I rise up from that state of stasis to rewind.

But time never gives to force. The lost feelings
Make me feel so hollow inside. Fill me up,
A warmness I can’t replicate alone. Booze
Only masks the truth, I couldn’t lie to myself,
And now I wonder; where are you? Yes, I failed
Yet watch me get up and try. . .try to change.

Petrified by regrets eating away at the mind.
I rise up from that state of stasis to move on.

This sundry life of mine has never been okay
And that’s no excuse for running away in fear.
I knew that just I ran because I knew you’d stay
By my side. Love that will end in tragedy, dear.

Call me whatever, I accepted my curse and ran
Until your words could no longer haunt my sleep.
I need love but my fate will cause pain to anyone near.
I’m sorry I couldn’t say that then. I suffered every tear
Knowing it was better to be alone. We both weep
The end of a true love. If only I was a better man.

Time changes a lot. Eight years since that goodbye
And I can’t run from my heart anymore. I’ll die
Someday but today ain’t that day. Love wasn’t a lie.

I now see that life won’t always be clear or easy. We sometimes try helping
Others to end up hurting them due to a lack of compassion and understanding.

sa;bdry
We must seek understanding not excuses, incitements, or selfishness.

A Wretched Tale: The Darkest Night

I grabbed the dual berettas and walked towards the beasts. They clawed at my face as I kicked them back. I crushed one of their necks with my foot. The dark blood oozed out from its mouth. More of those beasts raced towards me.

They pushed me down and gnashed at my flesh. The darkness in their making seeped into my veins. Memories from the souls obliterated by them clouded my thoughts. I screamed because I once knew those faces as friends.

My blood sloshed onto marble floor. The beasts carved to the bones in my limbs. They ignored the meat and reveled in my suffering. Oddly my thoughts weren’t on saving my life but the absurdities in this life.

Fear chained me from ever taking action. I never trusted anyone because they could hurt me. They weren’t these demons but they scared me to the core. What if I failed them? They’d abandon me without a second thought. All those frightened souls looking for a reason to stay.

We walked away from each other. When the demons arrived we ran from our friends in need. The concept of survival destroyed everything we created together with a single strike. I stubbornly accepted that as the only way but they needed me. What good is living if you’re alone?

I never meant for the love we shared to someday die. This tragedy stoked the dying fire left in our memories. I grabbed one of the demons and tossed it against a wall. My arms trembled from the pain but I used the berettas tearing a way through the pack.

They watched me and slowly advanced. Their warfare tactics pushed me into a corner where I propped me body up. I unloaded on their front line, propelled myself through the formation, chomped on one of their necks and drank the demon’s blood, and suddenly my vision went black. . .

My body banished my mind from control. I joked around with my thoughts during the whole entire time. I shunned myself for drinking tainted blood but knew I would’ve died if I didn’t. The selfish nature I succumbed to will bring its tolls until I’m dead from the weight I carry.

I forced my eyes open to see the horror. Dark blood healed my wounds, my hands grew claws, and I spoke in their tongue. The demons laid decapitated around me and their blood formed a design, a circle split into fourths. Unable to move myself I loosened my grip on my humanity.

Who are you? I am you. The blood holds the memories of others and the demon. When you drank it you accepted us. We are you now. What are you doing? You need to regain control and assume your human form. You’ll die if the demon blood takes over. And how does this fix that? Blood purifying. The afflicted blood makes the symbol, to the left humanity stands, demons haunt the right, and the accumulation of dreams leads the way. Essentially we’ll sacrifice a human, a demon, and a Mistkin for you to live. I DON’T WANT THAT!!! You don’t have a choice, live on for us who reside within. The demon’s chains shattered and our memories don’t want us to die again. Please.

Three near dying beings stood in the circle with me. My demon blood started flowing out of my eyes. The demon and human evaporated into spheres of light cleansing the dark blood. I dropped to my knees because of immense pain. I watched the Mistkin be drained of his blood to save me from blood loss. He absorbed the cleansed blood until the ritual finished. He changed into a being of pure light that spoke.

“Ah, you are the one. The true sinner who stays alive to defend the holy radiance. Born of humanity and bathed in evil. You’ve seen the light from the darkness. A knowledge forbidden because few man are worthy of the sacrifice. To always see the radiance but never reach it. And what is your name Lightbringer?”

“Shadow, a moniker because the real name has been lost.”

The Probability of Change

This isn’t my typical post. I just can’t convey it quickly. So first I’ll give a TL;DR:

The choices we make in life seem insignificant but they aren’t. Never believe you are less than a sentient being and live on.


How were things like the Divine Right of Kings ever believed by our ancestors? The reason is our hypocritical nature. When the truth would hurt another we’ll lie. This trait can’t be seen truly as just bad or good. All events have equal chance of different results. When the concept of Divine Right manipulated every aspect of society it appeared impossible to overcome. We, the human race, did by usurping its throne from within.

The hierarchy created by the rich still functions despite our ambitious strike. When Egyptian workers protested the inhumane construction of a pyramid centuries ago they couldn’t do anything except barter for benefits. All we can do is aim to be slightly higher than slaves. But do those benefits change the reality or simply our perception?

Most of my friends and family members tell me “That’s how it has always been. It’ll never change.” Yeah, if all we ever do is accept what we’re given. The steps toward changing this world scare many of us from ever trying. I truly wish that we’d attempt defusing our situation instead of standing near that absolution. We can’t absolve our sins by acting blind.

These sins aren’t anything a god can erase but by coincidence humanity must find a way. We enslaved a free world with lies, commerce, and technology. The lower castes of society think progress helps better the world while the aristocracy abuses those good intentions. Things haven’t changed because the system we believe in failed.

Governments must take that reality into account. They don’t want to save their citizens just pocket money by very slowly burning the whole place down. When the funding seems lackluster propaganda surfaces inciting conflict. Eventually the citizens will degrade completely making the media their medium of faith and will lash out anyone questioning the system. Can there be any hope at this point?

Certainly. Hope is the desire to seek change from a negative state. A great example comes from a popular quote that says “God is dead.” because we advanced beyond our singular beliefs creating discrepancies within faith. God represents hope for many but this quote has merit stemming from the meaningless existence we might find without purpose. I know I’ve teetered on that destination for many years. Even though other reasons led me there I totally understood how removing purpose might set us down an even darker path. Add that with our greed there’s a better chance people will suffer in this world.

We’re all connected making the impact much greater. If we truly can justify fighting wars for greed then the current world is a giant payday. The first cogs in starting such an event would be those caught between greed and faith. These people might be respected by members of the faith who can’t begin to understand the connections they might have with the outside world. Try to picture the depth and consequences of this partnership.

In a world defined by currency religion, groups of moral teaching, will feel very confused. When they discover orphans of conflict the outcome can be very unpredictable. They’ll adopt their views but a desire for vengeance might lurk beneath and can contaminate the sound morals of their newly found faith. A wealthy, respected member of the religion pulls an orphan aside and discovers the child’s desire for vengeance. The member creates a new sect for the orphans to begin anew but acquires a way for them to obtain vengeance – weapons.

Guns developed to advance warfare find their way into the hands of a conflicted group. Extremism doesn’t develop by itself. Many variables must be set beforehand and even then it’s rare for the extremists to thrive. The world market abandoned a location inadequate in exports creating a need for international aid. And these countries witnessed a battle fought against political extremists where a massive amount of money got expended creating an option.

An extremist religious sect paid secretly by wealth acquired through trade and time takes up the mantle. Ultimately the sect will be defeated at an expense. During this exploitation other countries will reap the profits and sweep the mess under a rug. This event could teach other countries to disrespect each other for profit making many problems for the spheres of influence. Enough problems could lead toward an international affair then conflict between two spheres.


That outcome exists but so do many others. I’ve pondered hundreds of the outcomes and realized something unprecedented. Every action we take has a chance to offset the outcome. An act of kindness could be the difference between war and peace. The truth is every human adds to the probability of possible events. Nothing royalty or aristocracies do can prevent seven billion people from changing what we know, crossing boundaries, learning, and loving. It’s complicated how existence works but also quite beautiful.

Aim to be the best you and don’t worry if it isn’t good enough. You might change the future by accident. That’s kind of scary. . .not as much as quantum entanglement though.
sa;bdry