The Ocean of Sin

I sat at a familiar round table
With my head in my hands. A fable
Repeated in my head as other patrons
Said hello to no reply. Gas stations,
Work, politics; please say nothing at all.
I’m running through life chasing my fall.

Am I just living in a dream?

The thoughts of others bury me underground
But I still hear them. Abandon all hope
Or learn differently? I want to hear no sound
For a little while. It’s really hard to cope.

Why did I come here?
Walking into the depths of fear.

Everywhere I run the fear appears
And I run away. The turning gears
Stretching me so thin. Years
Spent stuck in clockwork. My tears. . .

A dried up well in the desert.
I came here after the mirages
All faded away. Visages
Drift and in their eyes is hurt.

Too real and too tainted; dehydration
Of our hearts raised in dream desiccation.

I slam my hands down and get away.
Every second I spend lost
Gets erased from existence.
A reality more like a maelstrom
Slamming me forward through time.
Nowhere to go but down below
Onto the ocean floor. I breathe.
The pain tells me I’m alive.

Lungs collapsing, blood flowing;
I’m trying to enter the ring
For another fight. I saw no way
Else to defend what I truly love.
Every statue made out of clay
Couldn’t compare to her skin
Against my own. Did I fall for sin?

What else could I do? I’m too weak
To stand alone in this world. So I seek
the comfort in others. Of sin though, I reek.

drowning_by_pretty_angel-d10gc2m
“Sinking deeper into this life I barely know. . .”

pretty-angel.deviantart.com

 

 

The Fire We Tend, Love

Softly my hand leads the way
Through the night. Whatever I say
Is enchanted by the moonlight. To pay
The price of stealing your breath away
Is to remain here and watch life decay.
And so I ask you to teach me a new way.

Walking between bullets and hearts.
Teach me to dance in the brightest darkness
And how your smile is the light of Heaven.
I’m unworthy but I’ll prevail just
To chase your light for eternity.

Every single day we make our kingdoms.
I’m so uncertain, the true fear,
But I continue despite my feelings.
And at night I stare at ceilings
To wonder why I’m here.
Do you feel the same despite the idioms?

Sometimes I wonder if I was a better man
If this life would be the same. The mistakes
Are mine and I am in debt to them to the end.

Rest your heart right here. I’ll be here
As long as I can to chase away your fear.

Stars shine when you don’t even see them.
Why can’t we dream like that? This life
Given to us awaits for a single spark
And soon the flames will dance so high.
Remember this one little thing forever and ever:

A flame can spread. . .
heart-on-fire

These Roots Unchanged

In the search for more I find myself walking
Among unearthed roots and stones. Knowing
Within this a curse has become a blessing,
But what exactly am I supposed to do now?

Everything grows from firmly placed roots,
Taking that for purpose. A mask that shifts
Everyday until the real face is forgotten.
Who am I? A man, a knight, a king, a beggar;
All of them and none. Don’t you see that
Choices ignite the soul? Every breath
Renews what has been spent. So who are you?
A soul forging or experiences defining the lines
To make polygons, the shapes of your being.
The roots remain until a fire devours them.

Were they ever there if I just forget?
I’m running away and seeking a reset
Because nothing turned out right. I stand
Here wading among memories. Need a hand
Absent from my past to offer me a new path. One
Where the roots remain but I’m under a new Sun.

Reset the point of view and give new
Life to these deep roots. No church pew,
Priest’s words, dollar bills, chosen destiny;
Worldly desires will ever be enough for me!
A friend who sees it all but stays all the same.

What if that was all it took to change? Every person
Abandoning their own wants to give another reason.
sa;bdry

The Precipice of Dreams Reaching Reality

We stood inches apart but miles in our hearts. In a large room of black stones without a torch but I trembled from my old friend’s presence. Beasts from another dream roared through the long corridors of this tower. My companions entombed from the faith placed in me, an addled general. A heaviness touched my heart knowing I could never make this right. Light flickered in front of me. I reached out to touch but it floated out of reach.

“Death made you much more slim. Maybe I should try it myself after the holidays. The results are quite ephemeral. I’m positive you are the friend I abandoned for my selfish desire. The heaviness confirms that we once knew each other because you are trying to pop my heart like a balloon. I’d be better off that way. You can’t though. This tower is a prison that executes souls by eating away at memories and turning them into beasts. A lich gave me this calling it a gift to her champion. What does it do?” I pondered as I walked around the room and traced my left hand against the walls.

“Steals away everything that makes you you. But I remember you like a scar on the back of my hand. Even that won’t remain forever here. All you had to do was refuse!” the light, perhaps the soul, changed color in correspondence to its own emotions.

“Start a senseless war or sacrifice a single person? The answer is quite. . .”

“It isn’t simple. And the war wouldn’t have been senseless. They killed good people, your family even, yet you sold one more person to their hunger. Me. You originally wanted revenge then you settled for diplomacy. What matters to you in this tragedy?”

“The things that mattered are dead now.” I stumbled on those words.

“You came to this death trap just to see me, huh? Dumb kid. This is nothing like going to a friend’s grave.”

“Why I brought this.” I took a grave marker out of my bag and placed it on the floor.

“You think of me after betraying me?”

“I remember every person I hurt because I’m sorry. I’m sorry that they got in the way of my war.” the light exploded after my remark revealing the visage of my old friend.

“What war?”

“My war against the Earth.”

“Is fighting all you can do with your life!? You lost so much to the world but you’re still gambling with it. I tried my best in turning you away from this path. Why return here if you’ll never heed my words? Your hands drip with blood still.” the torches in the room lit suddenly after his words.

My friend sat on a chair. He was no longer transparent and stared at me with unforgiving eyes. The walls lined with portraits of the past. I remembered those days because they are adorned to my thoughts. A feeling of remorse pierced through the shell made to hide a painful truth. Droplets dripped on the ground and echoed through this stone room. I looked at my hands.

Fresh blood covered them. My stomach rolled, I covered my mouth, and closed my eyes out of disgust. The sound remained. I covered my ears to no avail. Memories of blood on oppressors and the oppressed emerged. My face fixed onto the bodies of oppressors while my friends bled to death before them. Their blood remained on my hands even now.

“That is what follows you. Every sorrow changed you into them. If you learned from the past instead of being controlled by it then life would be different. So if you want to talk then let’s talk about life over a few drinks.” the ghost tossed me a bottle of booze.

“Thanks. I really need this old friend. You see,” I opened the bottle and took a long drink, “There was a time I wanted to avoid revenge. Olivia before she died told me never to hurt others. I betrayed her dying wish. She was too idealistic in a realistic world.”

“Do you justify that as why she died?”

“She would’ve been better off if she just let me die. Twice that night I died. One when I came alone to the cliff to commit suicide. And the other when I ran from men with guns. She saved me by coming there and taking a bullet for me. If she wasn’t that idealistic we’d both be erased.”

“Love is a crazy, kid. We think we will just grow old with that special someone. Some get that. Blessed are their lives. Most never will because the harsh world doesn’t let anything last long. If you live doesn’t the love prove itself still? You’ve made bad choices but her dying promise wasn’t what she said. She didn’t want you to hurt by seeking revenge. Her love for you outweighed her whole entire existence yet you worry about a single broken promise.”

“I learned something that made the promise worth breaking. This world is coming undone from the choices we, humanity, have made. If we stay divided nothing will save us in the end. But there is hope. When an evil greater than each other rises we ignore our simple gripes to fight as one. I wanted to save us by being a shining light. The truth is we need darkness so that our divided fires burn together.”

“What if we engineer this darkness just to hide the truth? What if there was no evil if we didn’t create it?”

“That’s really idealistic. Existence can be unforgiving creating tragedies that test the merit of any beast. Pain creates two paths. And we can’t all do the same with our lives because the realities we face can differ vastly. But those who justify acts of aggression are just as idealistic. We think that by hurting them they’d understand a life they never lived. Don’t you see the dilemma we face? Reality isn’t fair or contrite yet we claim to know it. No one encompasses everything. We destroy our bodies upon the lives we were given believing that there is no other way. This is the problem that we have come to face. We refuse to look at truth for the advent of mass appeal because we are a social creature. Evolution needs to extend from genes into our minds but it never will if we never try to change.”

“Then why can’t you change your path? Everything you have is valid if not the truth. You really must be your worst enemy.”

“If I don’t intervene the lies we have created will be our white flag. I will join the darkness so that I can give humanity a fair warning. They don’t want a harbinger just to take over instantaneously. But if I join there is a chance I could screw up their plans just enough for us all to see.”
“Why can’t you just warn them?”

“They wouldn’t believe me. You know that. People want to believe that everything is alright. They’d abandon everything just to hear four words. Everything will be okay.” I placed the empty bottle on the floor.

“Your desire for results is a little frightening. I can’t see what could ever be scarier than you. A man who knows what is right but proceeds to do what is wrong. But I knew when you fought that beast years ago that you carry everything. Do you not trust others at all?”

“Are you trying to change the subject? You’re a ghost WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE AFRAID ABOUT?!”

“A friend who is in pain. Oh and maybe a tower that eats away at memories until. . .wait a moment. Does it only affect ghosts?”

“Nope. Anything with memories will be used. I’ll be here just a little longer. I’m letting the memories that make this painful leave me. Everything is better this way. Ariex, I can’t go back on this path alone if these memories remain like daggers in my already rotting flesh.” the blood on my hands partially disappeared when a few memories faded away.

“That is your lifeline. It is ugly and unfair but the truth you need. If you follow this path any longer your whole body will be covered in blood. Maybe when the memories vanish you won’t have a reason to care. I can’t get you to turn away from all of this. Can you at least tell me what memories will remain?”

“My meeting with the lich Xycea and when you attacked Gorikahn with your Amber Wardens. Everything else will just complicate my life going forward.” I used some wind magic to blow out the torches.

“Your friends and family and loved ones erased. I hope there is a way to reverse this. You’ll need it to know that you were never evil. You care too much. And for that I’ll disappear. . .”

I waited there in the darkness. Everything about the past except the two events vanished. I started the Rise of the First Blight.


Rayne stood up and looked around in confusion as he whispered “Why am I in this wretched place? Stupid Amber Wardens attacking my city for no reason. Serves them right to be sealed here for eternity.” whispered Rayne as he stood up and looked around in confusion. His foot stomped on the floor made of crystallized ghosts then he smiled. . .
sa;bdry

A Fallen Ornament

I hung from your branches in a forgotten room
Just beyond your dreaming eyes. Did you know
I waited for you to return? Caught in gloom
Remembering a deathly kiss where sins sow.
My king you abandoned me on a cold night.
But the dark seed of your love lives within
Me, your faithful follower. Your pompous light
Radiating from your blood is your only sin.

A pride harbored in your lustful genes? Bleed
Whoever you want while never paying heed
As you steal away their hope. A leader must lead.

Without hatred I accept the beast chained deep
In a reservoir of tainted blood within you.
It claws at everything you once cared for
Leaving nothing except blood in its wake.
Our screams resonating the same frequency.
If we let these fears consume, the vacancy
In the throne room is you and I. My king,
Does it even matter how this all will end?
I believed your every word as truth! You lied.
This is me walking away from your kingdom.

Understanding the harrowing of your heart
Puts me in an odd position. I can’t forget
Or forgive a man who lost himself. Set
The pawns in place to hide all the hurt.

If I can’t move on why would they?
Truth is in your heart not in what you say.

A story that we should just rewrite
But you lost sight. And so good bye.

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And so good bye. . . (It hurts to be this cold inside.)

Clairvoyant, Perpendicular Lines Inside Our Eyes

An ephemeral wind passes right on through many
And yet everything remains the same. Closed off.
Is that what we have become in time’s erosion?
It seems so long ago when smiles challenged the Sun
But we are the same people. Caught up in semantics
We defy the lessons upon the parchment above, the sky.

Caught in this cycle most avaricious. Building castles
In the sand with dying wishes for graves covered by thistles.
Why do we fight for dreams lost in high tide? Missiles
Held as threats to these cities of glass where nobody whistles.

When humans actually begin to feel and not assume
Could it be possible for our lives to finally resume?

If I look in your eyes what remains? The glow of stars
Or the ashes of pyres circling inside like a hurricane.
Did the atmosphere burn away your heart? The scars
On your skin show of years spent standing in the rain.
What if we saw the pain instead of fighting small wars?

Our sights are so perpendicular that a crash is inevitable
When the arrow of time flies right on by. There isn’t order
In what remains as we abandon our way to say hello. Tell me,
Are we supposed to say goodbye or can we change on the inside?
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Summerday Serenade

In a crowd of many people
I hear not a single voice.
They speak but a choice
Made them unable to stifle
My senses. Unity was never
What I craved for. A clever
Deceit hiding my heart’s temple.

The sea of unknown faces
Rises and crashes into me.
I sink under the tides to drown
Because I feel rejected and lost.
Will they forget me if I disappear?
Paradoxes created in my head
Sing me to sleep and death someday.
But I swim toward the sunlight
In belief that living is better than dying.
A harsher reality hits me in the jaw.

“WELCOME TO THE MASQUERADE”

A city of liars and thieves on the heights.
They come for a fight and another trip
When I break the lines they worship.
Turn the safety off and line up the sights.

The enemies are everywhere. They hide
From the light to stab us in the back. Ride
Daylight until it fades and at night stay inside.

I’m not strong enough to fight forever.
On the darkest of nights betrayal
Pierced into my heart. I had to sever
A bond I gave everything to. Denial
Kept me from acting earlier, my bad.
Love is something precious. I was sad
Until her lies surfaced. It was trivial.

Being alone taught me so much and
Gave me time to sort out the past. Sand
In an hourglass might never go in reverse
But an unsettled past can become a curse.

“FIND A REASON OR FADE AWAY”

Living to fight? I never wanted that.
Lies exist but they can’t conceal the truth
No matter how much time passes.
I decided to write but the motivation
Wasn’t there. Found myself in the dark.
Heartbeat speeds up, sweat drips; fear.

My past collided with me like a Big Bang.
A friend I turned on for a deceitful romance
Who returned to start again. Without someone
Lying to me I agreed. A kindness abused
Shouldn’t be the death of a friendship.
She became my Summerday Serenade.

In two lines is eternity:

You are my Summerday, a whole lifetime
Given to someone. Hearts that rhyme.
sa;bdry

Runes Carved into the Sky

Magic, a flight of fancy to most
But something of great beauty,
Weaves together the strings
Of our hearts. Close your eyes to see.

     We have been standing at borderlines wondering when things will change. Tears have been shed and lives have been lost in these moments of hysteria. When everything comes to an end we are left with the shards of what we once had. The whole world shattered apart like a picture frame dropped on the floor.

It is impossible to get back what is lost. Our hearts plead and beg for the past to return. When time is an arrow we can’t reclaim a state of before or after just now. We could argue what is the best course of action or we can deal with the immediate problem.

The media wants it to be an issue not a tragedy. When we divide instead of coming together we have lost. We’ve been hypnotized. Show a little heart not your pride when pushed to the line. A strong tower crumbles down harder but love never burns through the fires of war. Change the strategy if you desire victory.

War will not fix the wound Humanity shares. When people don’t see the light in others the world surely gets darker. That is a principle in life most get accustom to. A loneliness one can feel while surrounded by others. Let us look into that before speaking about the more profound circumstances we face as a species.

Loneliness still hurts more than anything else. If people are told to do what everyone else does when they don’t agree with it then it becomes hard to know what is right to feel. The truth to that ends up being quite selfish. Do what you believe is right and someday you will meet others that feel the same. Loneliness exists just try your best not to let it change who you are.

Such a feeling of isolation often leads to terrible disasters. — 1. The person will do anything to fit in. 2. Others use lonely people to convert them from normal citizens to radicals. 3. They tend to believe what they are told instead of standing up. — Loneliness is one of many things that bring about the dissolution of civilization. How do others combat it?

Find the strings of our hearts and weave them together. The only way to change this is by being there for those that need you. Sometimes it isn’t a choice we willingly make. However small this step is it can be the thing that brings another person back from the edge. We have all been there at the edge of our wits without a clear view of the future. Be a friend to the ones in need because it is a long way down.

We are crashing from the highs,
Artificial and far from the Earth,
Nowhere to go just down, down,
Down. Heart in our throats
We don’t know where to step.
Falling in reverse, changing the story.

Reach your hand out at the cliff.
Console my burning pain until tears
Extinguish the flame. I have many fears
Constricting my heart until it’s stiff.

If only a kind hand could cross the veil
Of eternal night. My fate soon will seal.

     We can’t avoid what has happened so from today live a little better. See the heart strings cross boundaries that were until now unseen. Love for others might seem hard but open the path between yourself and another. Can be one or many just watch how close you get, respect their hearts and yours, and see what comes. One can love others as friends to save them.

Truth be told that I wasn’t sure what to say except in a poem reverberating deep within. . .

The moment I felt the true world
Return to me I looked at the night sky.
Stars were stars except now they
Gained a greater existence. Runes
Carved into place for all to see.
Do they light the way back home?

Magic of hearts and runes of starlight
Bless a road I have reached at. I just might. . .

See what awaits us beyond the past.
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The Serenade of Our Clandestined Tears

“Sometimes things are better left unsaid.”

Words kept like a sharpened blade
Concealed beneath a gentle guise.
All I do is try to see this eye to eye
But something threw us into disarray.

The choices in life twisted
Our hearts into parallels.

Yet we both long for a day
Loneliness can no longer sway
These broken hearts. Just say
What hurts before we decay.

A world of untold stories awaits
Those able to abandon the Fates.
My friend, we sit here at the gates
Wondering why we should fight
On in this life. Everyone wants a light
Illuminating everything in sight.
We are sitting here in the wake
Of tragedy asking whats true and fake.
Look deep inside to find the might
Offering a new road for you tonight.
If we fail this we become a blight.
My friend, we sit here at the gates.
One day we will choose our own fates
Where our own untold story awaits.

Those tears you’re concealing sing truth
Under a starlit sky back in our youth.

Sometimes things need to be said. . .

sa;bdry

Cleanse the Darkness

Seek a path to heal the world’s wounds.
You will realize that our Earth
Can only be saved by humanity.
So you will try and you will fail.

Does that mean we are hopeless?
No. Rest your kind heart but return
Here, where everything had crashed.
Truth burns like gasoline. Hope slashed
Asunder. Don’t give up this is your turn.
If you don’t who will? Be strong and restless.

It might be reckless because it is life
Just place faith in you and truly live.
I believe in you to exist even in strife
Because who else is better to strive?

Rise up from the floor.
Take your heart’s worth and pour
It into the open air.
sa;bdry