Tag: Truth

Goodbye: A Wish

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

I await here succumbed by the dark.
Shadows swallowed, forms merged,
Hearts laid to rest, and yet tears still lurk.
The stars shining on the last tide forged.

The words spoke from fear circumvent
In my ears like screams left unheard.
Voyage to my core, I must see what hurt
More. Walking away or trying to repent?

We had seen the walls begin to build.
The cups, our hearts, were finally filled.

When you hear the world then heed it.
I would never want you to regret our love.
And for that you must be ready to forget
What we had made. Please just forgive
Me because this hurts but I don’t regret.

Darkness had set on my eyes.
Days in the Sun awaiting the shade
As a respite from what had been made.
A day I saw the glitter leave your eyes.

I welcomed the coming nightfall.
Find your path as I start to find my own.
We must before the birds call.

Time is moving, the Earth is turning;
We are caught in an eternal dance.
The rhythm stays the same,
But not always in the way we want.
I truly did try to be there.
In truth I was your stepping stone
Leading you from a little puddle
To a midnight pond. Cast a stone
Much like a wish into the unknown,
When the dark bursts into light.

It might be really hard now but we will survive
Because in life sometimes you should take a dive.

sa;bdry

What It Means

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

You told me those few words:
“If you must see then just go.
Nothing I say will save you.”
A kindness that forges swords.

In this lonely world I walk to the line.
My heavy feet stumbling and tripping.
Time shifts as I move along. It’s fine,
This paradigm has been constantly moving.

A freedom to chase, a memory to fade.
I couldn’t hold you or stop the serenade
That ripped straight through your chest.
Break this bond before I destroy the rest.

That moment of clarity will be frayed.
Some things need to change and others are stubborn.
You are that stubborn. All sanity washes away,
We walk into the dark hand in hand once more.

I could’ve walked away but I got near
Because from here I can wipe away every tear.

We chased the stars then fell back.
In a free fall we had to make a choice
That we might regret. Look at my face,
I’m scared but I’m here to stay.

sa;bdry

The Scarlet Tears

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Time starts hesitating.
Our words go silent
But our ears still reverberate.
Rage, sympathy, forgiveness;
All things lost in translation.
I came here to say goodbye.

These scarlet tears flow.
Your warmth draining away,
Breath shallowing, eyes dilating,
And memories reeling once more.

Truly my words confide no mercy.
I chose this lonely path of heresy
But it does me no pleasure, dear friend.
I live to have no regrets in the end.

We were friends standing side by side;
It pained me to see us drifting apart ever so far.
The divide we created through choices. Mar
the pact, we meet here blade to blade.

These scarlet tears flow.
Your warmth draining away,
Breath shallowing, eyes dilating,
And memories reeling once more.

In your paradise find us once again
On the pastures of green as children.
sa;bdry

A Friend Betrayed

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

At the feet of some great calamity
All we could do was bow and surrender.
Lost the fight, strife remained. Questions
About tomorrow hovered before us
And answers were things never offered.

Foul intent imprisoned our hearts
In iron cages that no one ever departs.

Our enemy accepted as a brother, tongue bit.
It created a Kingdom as we danced to the tune it had set.
With fear in our eyes we watched it like a God
But awaited for the end of this reign. It never did.

A million civilizations created and a million erased in our heads,
Perfection kept out of reach. These sins never forgotten,
Left unredeemed, will never leave.

Words awaited inside but the time is late.
These things are better left unsaid,
Ya know the way we barter time. Afraid
If we step out of line that the weight
Of the world will bear down and never fade.
In truth it’s what we hide and made,
A monster devouring both love and hate.

This monster is us. You and I, every time
We fight to survive. These are the rules of this game.
Rise to fall, fall to rise; we’re caught in a rhyme.

sa;bdry

I Won’t Walk Away

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Darkness falling from the eyes of
You who got me so strung up
Like a noose coiled around my neck
Hanging me there within these walls.
Under the control of your cloven heart it calls
For a sacrifice made of blood and bone.
Watch as everything that is is now gone.
Taken from us, lost in transition, we wreck
Our way through the fields. I gulp.
Searching for what can’t be found. Love.

If the green scenery fades away
What remains below, the sub-reality?
Relinquish the trappings of Heaven
Let me see your Hell. . .scars you hide.
If I can’t see where you stay
Tell me how else I can repay what was given!
To me this wasn’t a free ride
It was my only home in actuality.

Caught in this fairy tale of despair I halt
Looking back. In the flash of a lightning bolt.

Specters rise from the burnt soil
Singing their ghostly tales.
They don’t see a reason in all this toil
We’re going through. Great wind gales
Push us back, the whirlwind of Hell,
And I’m grabbing your hand all the same still.
Their sorrow floods the only trails
Leading us out of the serpent’s coil.
I’ve seen love and sometimes it fails
But not today if our hearts remain loyal.

The tears from spirits burn bright
And hiss like snakes. So hold onto me,
We can make it through. Don’t stay the same
But don’t turn your back on what’s right.

Even if we lose sight. Keep it straight,
The words you say and the things you do
Map out a constellation for the night.
Wherever you are, I’ll be there for you.
Yeah it’s going to get tough, we will fight,
Somehow we’ll come back if we stay true.
No matter how dark the night I’ll see your light.

Every day is a blessing.
Things change but some don’t,
It’s the ones that don’t that warm us up
From the inside out. Remember that cup
Of coffee on a cold Winter day. Count
It as a reminder for time passing.

We go through all this time side by side.
But do you know where our hearts reside?
At the core of our lives!
Even if you have lost track, I will decide
That I’m not letting go as I wait for the tide.

Grab my hand like a hilt of a blade
And look into my eyes.
For this love we have already paid
With tears. Love dies
After a long war not just a grenade.

Walk with me when we see the yellow Sun
Glowing just for us. Together we can run,
Scream our hearts out, and see that we won.
sa;bdry

The Crimson Tide

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Confiding thoughts relentlessly attack
The state of mind I’m in. If I breathe
I might see the fire go out, lack of air to heave
My chest from eternal stasis. It’s what I lack
And not what I have to gain that I find myself terrified
Of. But somehow every tear I cry is rectified
By the will in my heart to press forward with the pack.

In my silence my titles strip away
One by one like the death of stars in the night sky.

Around me my kin bare their teeth
At a unknowing gazelle. Hunger pushes
Them over the edge, survival instincts breaking in.
Sense and rationality sacrificed for no
More than the fire in our bellies telling
Everyone what they need to survive.

Take me out of this equation.
I’m a stone taken by erosion
Rot yet I seek my own revelation.

How do I find myself here?
Teeth baring, heart racing,
Every rational thought
Ceases from within.

But I pressure myself back
Maintaining distance from the beast.
This beast walking through my mind
As if on a stroll and I only know it’s smell,
It’s shape, it’s home; all of which are me.

My kin stare at me with blank eyes,
Glazed over by insatiable hunger.

White iris puddles get sweeter
As hearts grow ever, ever darker.

Lost in a scarlet scene I look to blue skies.

Tell me that there’s more to this story
Because I feel like a miner lost in a quarry.

Deposits of ore among the rock and dirt,
Gems to find and protect. Sweaty shirt
Taken off, dirty hands, and a heart
Made of stone. How do I depart?

Two illusions of the same life!
What does this serve? My God, my King,
Show me how I can walk anew.
Toss these rinds back and set off,
Ain’t no way I can stay sane here
When my memories eat away at my flesh.

Shadows of my emotion haunt me now
And I can’t breathe without them holding on
To me and my dreams. Can I show
That I am real not a plastic mannequin
On display? I found my own low.

Falling through the clouds of Heaven,
Forgiven and forgotten.

In a few seconds I’ll collide with the ground
And return to my home. Not for a pound
Or any money just curiosity.
I guess we could call it a necessity.

How the beast creates a grave’s mound
Isn’t the same as how people are bound.

Death doesn’t create brothers
Although we bleed side by side.
So many people lost fathers and mothers.
What for? Where does home reside?

Now that they’re gone, the world falls apart.
And all we need is brothers and sisters.
They feed us bullets until we depart.

Why brother, why do you reject my love?
Every second we walk away from the cove
Where our hearts bled. What path did you choose?

When I try to break bread. . .you prepare a noose.

If I must die tonight
Please let me make this right.

When the world is falling apart around you
Don’t ya cry ever for there is light in the end
Of your darkest night. Give me your hand
And let us see that tomorrow. Just let your pain end;
It won’t serve you, it will shatter you.
sa;bdry

I stand with Humanity, my brothers and sisters

by Desnei, posted in Art
Created with Microsoft Fresh Paint
“A Drowning Cry”

I write about a lot of worlds with evil. Some of the horrors are quite excruciating and pitiless. My mind must find a way to understand how the characters react. Life doesn’t give a simple choice. Some of us will seek revenge, some will face sorrow, some will break apart, and some will rise from the ashes like a phoenix. I learned most of these paths from living my own life.

A lot of things in life can hurt. Some things penetrate further into the heart than others. I opened up my heart to every point of view I can. The sorrow is too much but I can’t neglect other people. Everyone cries out for understanding. I will do all that I can to make sure that I help whoever I can. The fire in my heart can relight other hearts that have been smothered. It’s my one mission:

Never let the cries of others go unheard.

The Truth Found Inside

by Desnei, posted in Who I Am

I decided to make a more personal post. Most of the people who read this blog know me only partially from what I write. I can’t say I know myself that well either. If we were to talk about my deeds I’m not much of a person. I’ll sacrifice my own joy for others. My choices haven’t always been the best for myself.

No reason can truly elaborate upon why. I have falsified my own self to make sure a friend never saw me in pain. Love is a very powerful weapon. When is it too much or too little? I am horrible at figuring that out. I wasted a lot of my years chasing love without understanding myself. My heart was a powder keg back then. Sometimes I wonder if it is still able to explode like in the past. What even lit the fuse? Lies, jealousy, and fear make a lot of sparks.

Six years ago I didn’t think much about right and wrong. Life went on by like it always had before. I tried my chance at love and failed miserably. I couldn’t keep a promise and never brought it up until it was way too late. Times have changed. I couldn’t lie if I tried but others still do and most times I say nothing even when I see their deception. My life showed me that it isn’t as simple as it seems. Sometimes things scare us, catch us by surprise, burden us, and hurt us. I don’t blame anyone for hiding from the truth I just hope they find it before too many bridges burn.

Jealousy sets in very easily. I see the good in me, I truly do, but sometimes I feel I can’t keep up with other guys. Never have I told a lover to leave her friends for me. A man has to be very petty if he resorts to those measures. I really have never found a way to combat this feeling. My jealousy and fear are intertwined. I fear that I’ll never live up to what somebody else wants. Despite my fear I keep pushing forward. Some people prove the fear right but I learned I can do better. I will keep improving myself with everyday for the right girl. She’ll deserve the best I can be.

Most of those emotions are superficial. I really value creativity, beautiful minds, and uniqueness far more than anything else. I look at the world with a much more magical fascination. Everything amazes me. People call me childish sometimes because I see more than anyone else does. I don’t think that’s the case. If I were to be narrow in my views I wouldn’t feel like me. I still value my dreams over anything else. Nothing else defines me as much as this paragraph does.

This is me. I go by the alias Desnei when my name is Donnie J. Nelson. My mind loves chasing grand thoughts, my heart burns red hot, my body is here to warm those that I love, my soul looks for ways to better itself, and I live this life. The truth found inside is that I am a compassionate person although I never show it often.

sa;bdry

The Mythic Sommerfall (Back to the Primordial Waters)

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Twisting vines chase the droplets of water
Falling from the eaves far above a chasm.
The song of an engine’s roar and sputter echoes in the distance
Unbenounced to the mystical workings underground.

Radical differences, immutable choices, lost faith
Set the way towards indifference. A land of desolation
And apathetic people. The creation of another wraith.
Mechanical aspirations sloughed off by natural sedation,
An elimination of artificial beings. Sleep away.
The flood gate of my mind bursts. Sleep away.

Strangling dreams do possess me as I’m awake
In this often changing scenery. I slightly choke
On a fear consuming me. Am I simply fake?

Emotions pouring forth remind me that I do feel.
I’m reeling from a realization, an awakening,
That I don’t truly agree with. I slowly begin to kneel
And cross my hands against my chest. Running
Hasn’t saved me from this world. Can’t get away
From this atmosphere choking me. So I’ll stay.

The vines constantly chase a magical beginning
Or perhaps an ending, a place to rest for eternity.
Away from sight, out of mind; the price of dreaming.
Afraid of the mechanical beast ripping apart the Trinity.

People. They learn to rely on the progress of design.
It doesn’t make sense why but they are willing to sign.
A deus ex machina. A reason to live free under an ensign.

Nature. What does it take to create? A sacrifice.
Take the beauty and synthesize it. Roll the dice.
What can go wrong? Throw a sword blindly and it’ll slice.

Compassion. Everybody is looking for someone
Who sees the light deep inside. Most of them are gone
But back into the game. All the same ’til what remains is bone.

I await the magical epiphany of this life to which I pay homage.
The world remains scarred, torn apart. Let’s heal the damage.
sa;bdry

A City of Glass: Part I, Chapter III

by Desnei, posted in Short Story

“I must return to my other form. If only I could stay like this a little while longer. Hold me until I am no more.” small tears roll down her cheeks.

“Olivia,” I wrap my arms around her shimmering visage, “It doesn’t matter what form you end up taking. You’ll forever be you. I love you not your flesh. Stay close to me if you feel cold, put your trust in me, and look towards the future. Everything is unknown. I need you by my side until the very end.”

“Do you mean all that Rayne?” We both lean in for a kiss. The cold water feels warm for this moment of intimacy. I touch her warm lips, our tongues me between, and I find myself lost in the beauty that is Olivia. It’s moments like these that make life worth living. If only it could last forever.

“Uhm I. . .” a man coughs in the distance “Are we intruding sir? It seems you have something for wisps.” I abruptly stop to see Olivia’s wisp in front of my eyes. I blush out of embarrassment at them coming across this unfolding scene.

“You caught me. I saw the wisps on the Ocean and had to come out here for my guilty pleasure.”

The big man who spoke first scratches his head. A few of them talk about something in whispers and laughs. An affirming cough stops their gossip but the big man tosses one of them into the water.

“Do you see any other wisps out there Sean?”

“First off, what gives you the idea of throwing me into the ocean? Secondly, I see no wisps around here except one. Oh and Captain Aerion. . .” Aerion throws a tacklebox at him.

“Well Sir where did all the wisps go to? If in your pants I’m leaving you with my crew mate for a talk. Wisps don’t belong there!” Aerion tosses his hands in the air and walks in a half circle.

“I have no clue how the wisps disappeared. I fell into the water on the coast of Dragacia and this wisp led me here. They saw I was on the brink of death and dissolved into my skin. Have you ever heard of that before?”

Aerion scratches his chin as he looks me over. Silence fills the open air, another crew mate grabs a few bottles of beer out of a cooler, the one in the ocean swims back to the ship with the tackle box, and everyone sighs even Olivia’s wisp. They help me into the boat.

“Find yourself a seat. Anywhere is fine.” I move a fishing pole over to sit down on the side of the boat. “I often walked the streets as a young lad in my very early twenties. I didn’t know if I was after trouble or women but both were hazardous to my health. Neither wanted me although I kept going for those walks to talk with the sailors, soldiers, and anyone coming in from the port. One harsh Winter found two crews lost in the sea. I went onto the sea with a few soldiers to find the sailors but we found ourselves in the middle of a nasty storm.”

“How did you escape? Most times a rescue party can’t take a large ship. I’m sorry I love stories like this.”

“We had a ship that could barely hold the five of us on it. The boat nearly capsized what felt like eight times. Every wave we crossed felt like a life’s journey, A soldier shouted ‘I see the two crews in the distance!’ we followed the direction he told us to go. Everyone helped each other to tie ropes to the vessels. Somebody up in the Heavens abandoned us on those waters. A trial to see who would be fit to walk away from that tragedy. We cheered when the ropes were finally tied but only I saw the waters recede. A legendary tide  rose above us like a beast straight out of Hell with teeth gnashing and spit flying. The amount of hearts that dropped made a sound so terrifying that every fiber of our beings were left asunder. Kid, I’m sorry give me a few minutes to honor the memory of those who died on that day.”

Each member of the crew places their drinks down. We sit there in silence watching the tides under the stars and moonlight. Thoughts of people sacrificing everything for others create an anchor holding the rest of us upon a thin plain known as reality. The pain of losing a good person for any reason can destroy anyone. Why do others have to hurt them? Why must we be afraid? A horror that reminds me that I’m finite.