Learning to Relax

A grand circus, the dark home of the Liar King,
Thriving like a parasite on the last lights of Eden.
The jesters dancing around primordial flames
But in their eyes is death. And he who tames
Lions has no control over their hunger. Laden
Truth with frightful joys and let humanity sing.

Lights shining on the horizon of the night sky
Tempting pure hearts that have been wading in sludge.
With rain the blood and lust overflow from cisterns
Into the wound of existence, infection of innocence.

Would you run to safety if only you could?

Fleeing into the brier coffin of tears never shed
By men too dark to be saved. The flood erased
Much of what couldn’t grow in the Sun. Were you led
Towards the light or a lie deep inside your head?

If we’d question the truth we’ll find cracks.
Observation and salvation, a petri dish
Growing a colony of lies. Still we wish
To be worthy. How rusted are these tracks?

Continually dragging corpses across the border
Between right and wrong as we try to find order.

I can’t say I really care about that balance.
It’s hard to dream when we can’t ever agree
On what it means to be alive. Does a tree
Forsake itself for growing? Cast a glance:

The Earth is slowly revolving
And on it life remains evolving.
sa;bdry

Hydraxus Esi Derum / Hydrogen Delirium

Explosive vindication in the dark;
Sent to thrive on limited energy,
A death sentence. Write an elegy
Little birds flying in reality stark.
What you’ll never know refugee
About the world is lost in a reverie.
Find your way and disembark.

Standing in starlight you’ll be coy
But from that illumination comes joy.

The movement of photons from immense explosions
Bringing life to fertile ground. Toxic concentration,
Everything is set to pass away but the dawn is here.
How long will this cosmic play last? All the players
Abandoned the script in a justifiable madness.
Who was here to watch? Not a soul in the audience
Hearing the asides within this cave of illusions.

Hydraxus esi derum. Prophets seeing visions
In the scrying pool of elements. Hark to the truth
Aringing around thy self, gaze through the keyhole
Because the key’s lost. If you found your soul
Made of hydrogen would you burn? Of couth
And understanding we might make revisions.

Offered eternity or an eternal sacrifice,
It’s up in the air and so are the dice.
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To Light Up the Dark

Sunder the daylight breaking through a window.
A distraction of light kisses this naked skin
Giving rise to a vivid, desperate hallucination.
Captured by the intangible hands of tomorrow.

Scream to let out the carbon dioxide that gathers inside,
The reality has shifted among the parallel lines of time.

Untold legends, unseen history, unforgettable life;
Sold your heart between what’s disreputable
And accepted. The light bends to be received.
Everything comes undone on the molecular level
As the choice to walk or stop comes on by.

What truth remains on the path paved in perspective?
A tricky deceit like a blank receipt leaves life unseen.
The darkness, lack of evolution, will always paralyze
Those who never adapt. Light it up with what’s between
These two hemispheres. This all might be subjective.

I’m drifting among the dust of dead stars seeking gravity,
A fiery birth of light to pierce the dark and grant amnesty.
space-purple-nebula-1

Of These Passing Stars; Part VII

Ariex, have you known all along? The demons of this world don’t have horns. They walk beside us unto the sound of creation, destruction, and resurrection. I was an idiot to think that the sides are so easily divided. The two marks have taught me that we are wrong. But my duty remains the same. And you will need to follow your own duty.

My body can’t handle both the darkness and the light. You’ll know what we should do but I can’t give you my burden. We’d be playing right into their hands and our suffering won’t end with death. Who are they? Who made these monsters both human and not? Two brothers recreated among creation endlessly to guide everything. A differing point of view created a war that has no victor in sight. Futility is in our nature yet we succeed.

We started as kids running on meadows of grass. Those days we believed in adventure and fun. Tragedy haunted on the outskirts of our Eden like a serpent. He watched us grow from children into men. We walked separate paths and met him along the way. My heart poisoned when everything came crashing down. The tragedy of laying your love to rest. And the darkness I found myself in blinded me from Ariex’s darkness.

He abandoned the Royal Protectorate. An order made him question his humanity. The High General decided to execute unaligned Mist Alchemists in Southern Dragacia. He saw a kid lose his father because no one would help. Orders are orders. Ariex repeated that a lot to justify the past. On different paths we sat there and stared at nothing for months. We lost sight of the endless blue skies of our Eden.

I grab a corner of a stone wall. The memories stimulate the marks making my blood feel like it’s boiling. I try clearing my mind to no avail. I begin inching my way towards where Ariex will be waiting. The guards and the people laugh at me like some drunk. Tears roll down my cheeks but I keep moving.

Suddenly I lose my balance then fall on my back. I gasp out air and gaze at the cloudy sky concealing the Sun. A desire to give up washes over me. I shakily reach my hand out towards the sky. Someone gently grabs my hand. The warmth of this person keeps the doubts at bay long enough for me to get on my feet. The person laughs at me but never turns to face me.

“Synji, you idiot, did you really let yourself get cursed again? What would our parents say? We only have one choice if you don’t want to die.” Ariex’s deep voice carries a sense of rationality.

“Well Raejak and you agree I’m an idiot. Thanks! Asshole. And do you mean we should do an absolution? You know that only makes things worse. An Endarkened and an Envoy of the Mists? Are you flipping insane? The tale of Karthentrex and Pan should tell you how terrible of an option this is.”

“And you think dying will be better? The curses will dissolve whatever remains of you. If you live that is more time to change fate. Choose against life and you never existed at all. You can’t leave me all alone. I know this choice will condemn many to pain but they’ll survive because that’s what we know to do. Survival is a part of human nature.”

“This is from the person who also says that laziness is a part of human nature.”

“I’m not going to waste energy on barely surviving. We have minds so use them. When survival is easy and we can relax then we can learn. I learned that an absolution blends the existences of the two participants. We’ll know everything about each other even the things we don’t want to. The only thing is that the hearts must be aligned. Do we truly do this just to save you?”

“No. My life isn’t worth that much to me. We do this with the intention of reversing fate. Too many people accept what they’re given. Screw everything and we will rise.”

“That’s my brother! By the light granted through Karthentrex’s knowledge and the darkness created with Pan’s death the tree of chaos arose. The choice to mend the Universe tree was made when nothing should be allowed to live. If they had walked away everything would have faded. A Universe sentenced to deletion that refused its fate. We are the children of a forbidden plane.” Ariex grabs my hand creating a powerful light in our palms.

A warmth washes over the coldness of my heart. The clouds above start swirling and create an opening for the Sun. Light focuses on my chest where the Mark of the First Blight rests. Painfully the light burns away every trace of the curse. No one else sees the absolution because the residents of this city are blind to the Mists. But the High General watches from the castle and knows who is responsible. The light from the Sun turns dark with the curse.

Something keeps the light from finishing the absolution. My memories of the Endarkened emerge in the city. Three portals appear above the city. An eye, a staff, and a gavel come forth. They judge our worth. A arrow flies from where the High General is and pierces the eye. Raejak comes from nowhere and closes the portals with some complex Mist Alchemy.

“You have no power here Grand Judge. The eye is blind. Go back to the Stones of Fate because someday even you will fall. I’m sorry. You will not erase another Universe because it wasn’t perfect. Let these two be free from your judgment. We might be damned but there is still hope. I, Raejak, will atone if we fail. These are my conditions.”

“This is Raejak? You’ll be a great pawn in the End. Your belief in hope will diminish in the future. The Stones of Fate only says that I’m more sorry than you. I’ve forgotten so much but I feel like I must erase your Universe. You all remind me about something I hate. Rintaen made a similar bet with me. I accepted his because I wanted this to be entertaining. I’ll accept yours because this is my only way to win. You can’t deny fate.”

Everything returns to normal. The Mark of the First Blight rests on its new bearer. Ariex and myself stare at each other. He touches the mark and winces from pain. I pat his back. We look up at the still cloudy sky. Randomly another arrow with a letter zips by into the stone wall. I open the letter and find detail orders for Ariex and myself.

Ariex grabs the letter from my hands. He starts laughing then hands it to Raejak. Strangers give us very frightened glances. I sit down and rest my head in my hands. Raejak tears up the letter, they both sit next to me, and we stare at the castle.

“We aren’t allowed to ever return. Our last mission for the Royal Protectorate has begun. Can someone tell me what the fuck just happened?” Ariex asks with some unease.

“First, we made a deal with something from the Mists. The Grand Judge was unexpected. I was briefed by the High General on the chance of failure. If we didn’t make a deal the First Blight would start and we’d be unable to stop it.

Second, the orders are the true objective of the Royal Protectorate. Have fun fishing for the next two years Ariex. Be sure when you meet the kid you don’t kill him. He is a good kid just the hate he has for the Royal Protectorate makes you the best candidate. You only need to bring him to the Devil Straits in Aldrassil. After that the dominoes will fall.

Third, Synji and myself need to destroy the home of the Endarkened. The Gorundin Mountains have a huge secret that we’ll unravel. If we are successful the world will have more hope. We all may end up being despised by history though. We are knowingly creating a disastrous future that will undo everything the Grand Judge hopes to accomplish.”

We look back up to the sky. The clouds are clearing up. Perhaps a city divided but at this moment it’s beautiful. The people living their lives unaware of the scary truth. Us three must protect all of this because although they may be wrong they’re happy. Whatever may come I’ll do my best to live and protect this city divided.

sa;bdry

The World, Nothing But Falling Snow

Sitting here again with these thoughts swirling
And me trying to just stay above.
The future awaits with your love
Tempting me. I can’t deny this gentle feeling.

My eyes see much darkness but you’re the contrast.
Why save me now? I have always been an outcast.
Your touch grounding me, say that this love will last.

What happened to me? Chains lay broken
On the floor. I’m no longer a prisoner
Sentenced to walk this world without aim.
I have always been compassionate but forgot
When the coldness of life reached my heart.
Damn, Cupid finally hit me with his dart.

Love mends my state of mind as I question what we know,
Hold me close and warm up my resolve in the falling snow.
heart-on-fire

The Rose of Eternal Night

The dependency of insanity turns the flower
Once red like the cheeks of a lover to black.
Every sense detonates internally. Hack
N’ slash the lines that have turned ever so sour.

Resting above the world in a smoke trail
Choking on the same old sentiments. I fail
To recognize what has changed. There is a nail
Missing from the coffin of a living man. Sail
Far away from a dystopia built from tears and blood.
The dams have shattered. We await the sickly flood
Of our lies to erase everything. When there is food
Thrown away from starving men is there any good?

The black rose grows where my heart should be.
Today I realize the decay and set off upon the sea.

Will I find a way to reverse this disease?
Across the unknown there is a chance
That a new beginning awaits like open arms.
And so I gamble what remains of me to see.

Turn the darkness back. It stays around me like the night
But I still believe that the Sun will rise. Until then I’ll fight.
blackrose

Don’t Stop, Keep Moving

The push and pull of forces, big and small,
Keep leading my feet through all these days.
Tomorrow remains unclear when I’m in a daze.
I’ll remember your words. “Go where your feet fall.”

Many fears wait behind life’s curtain.
A play unfolding. We are calling for rain
To wash away all of what we entertain.

Walk forward. Someday the lights will fade to dark
Leaving us to wander. I’ll remain here with your mark.

Your words stir within when the defenses
Come tumbling down. Selfishly I cling
Because I was not prepared for life.

I’m walking here amid an unending darkness with much pain.
But I wouldn’t be walking if it wasn’t for your words like rain.

They fall so gently. A beautiful serenity
Resounding from your heart, Soon we depart
Yet the words keep us bound. Where do I start
With admitting that you ARE my eternity?

These words filling my head, light sweet liquor filling your glass;
We dance along to the music of life. Don’t let the chance pass.
heart-on-fire

The Serenade of Falling Leaves

Cool air in my lungs again.
A numbness over the stain
On a heart soaking in the rain,
Lacking any way to explain.
 
Look beneath the dying leaves and check
My breathing. Will I leave or stay here?
The tragedies of this world create fear
But they don’t define the end. “Wait a sec.”
 
Wet decaying plant matter stinks the same
Like when I was younger. We got caught
By an invisible hand dousing the weak flame.
Turn the page with what we were taught.
 
Burn brightest in the darkest of circumstances.
Stand. There will be many questions and stances.

walk-in-the-fog
The light within will illuminate the way. . .

A Desertside Tragedy

The desiccation of our race
Comes at our hands. Scripture
Written in blood. Left in terror
Everyone drowns in silence.

We were dancing along to the currency
Love affair unaware of this life. The day
Came for the curtains to draw at last.
When it did a grand tragedy played out.

Walking hand in hand? The reality known
Had nothing but lies woven into a crown.

I seek a resolution to this dissolution,
The technicality in turning back time.
Nothing can reverse a bullet in flight
But you knew that. What’s the crime
For holding on? It’s your one true right.
Hold onto the beautiful things in your day
That will always and forever light your way.
Listen not to the words others might say.
If they walk away find some shade to lay.

A true tragedy takes willing participants
Who let emotion win. I know we have wants
And our hearts burn but open your eyes.
The world is changing under blue skies.

If you sink you’ll drown. Take my hand,
We need to get away! They chase
Us down even if across foreign land.
In time these tragedies might erase.

Our choices they differ but we’re family.
Humanity is a family so hurting is silly.

sa;bdry
MAJI ~ People who care just because it’s the right thing to do.

The Wound of Time

One, two, three; the Universe moves forward
Across what is perceived as eternity. Where
Does one find their place in this race? I swear
I’m nowhere at all and sinking into what I feared.

“Look up.” Two words keeping me afloat
In this ocean of space and time. It may be cold
Within me but I’ll always offer this old coat.

Those words somehow warm me up still.
Perhaps every heart has cracks to fill.

A wound there since forever. Someday it heals
Leaving you somewhere new. Somewhere
Where happiness is. A beach covered in shells
And a gentle tide washing the bright shore.

Where do I belong? Tell me the choice is mine
But understand this. . .I don’t want to be alone.

Sit with me in the wound of time. Get lost
Until you never question why. With a sigh
Let go of the game of chance and don’t lie
To your heart. From now on forget the cost.
heart-on-fire