I’m Fallen Not Broken

What is right and what is wrong?
I thought I could find it on a long
Journey through life. Am I strong
Enough to finally recite a song?

The song of who I am. Caught
Up in the words of yesterday
But I try going forward. Do others
See me falling back or rising up?
There is so much more. If only
They’d open their eyes and see me.

Screaming to lift this lonely rope
From my neck. I am here. They say
That respect is something you pay
A price for. I’m just trying to cope.

The real me wants some rest
But everyday I’m put to a test.

What if I surrender? What if I snap?
My heart beats so I face what I know,
But is that all there is? I’m so numb!

I want to dream again. All the pain
In this world I hate. If I were to say no
What would they even do? The rain
Falls if I win or lose. Say get ready, go;
I’ll be waiting here for a derailed train.

Every time I reached for a hand I fell
From an emotional cliff. I never drowned
So I return trying to right the past. Crowned
By my regrets, thorns, I can already tell
I’m never going back into the cold ocean.
They say I’m distant but that is my devotion
To all of the true hearts we can never sell.

I cared so much but they let me fall below.
So I vow for life that I’ll never be that shallow.
sa;bdry

The Ocean of Sin

I sat at a familiar round table
With my head in my hands. A fable
Repeated in my head as other patrons
Said hello to no reply. Gas stations,
Work, politics; please say nothing at all.
I’m running through life chasing my fall.

Am I just living in a dream?

The thoughts of others bury me underground
But I still hear them. Abandon all hope
Or learn differently? I want to hear no sound
For a little while. It’s really hard to cope.

Why did I come here?
Walking into the depths of fear.

Everywhere I run the fear appears
And I run away. The turning gears
Stretching me so thin. Years
Spent stuck in clockwork. My tears. . .

A dried up well in the desert.
I came here after the mirages
All faded away. Visages
Drift and in their eyes is hurt.

Too real and too tainted; dehydration
Of our hearts raised in dream desiccation.

I slam my hands down and get away.
Every second I spend lost
Gets erased from existence.
A reality more like a maelstrom
Slamming me forward through time.
Nowhere to go but down below
Onto the ocean floor. I breathe.
The pain tells me I’m alive.

Lungs collapsing, blood flowing;
I’m trying to enter the ring
For another fight. I saw no way
Else to defend what I truly love.
Every statue made out of clay
Couldn’t compare to her skin
Against my own. Did I fall for sin?

What else could I do? I’m too weak
To stand alone in this world. So I seek
the comfort in others. Of sin though, I reek.

drowning_by_pretty_angel-d10gc2m
“Sinking deeper into this life I barely know. . .”

pretty-angel.deviantart.com

 

 

The Fire We Tend, Love

Softly my hand leads the way
Through the night. Whatever I say
Is enchanted by the moonlight. To pay
The price of stealing your breath away
Is to remain here and watch life decay.
And so I ask you to teach me a new way.

Walking between bullets and hearts.
Teach me to dance in the brightest darkness
And how your smile is the light of Heaven.
I’m unworthy but I’ll prevail just
To chase your light for eternity.

Every single day we make our kingdoms.
I’m so uncertain, the true fear,
But I continue despite my feelings.
And at night I stare at ceilings
To wonder why I’m here.
Do you feel the same despite the idioms?

Sometimes I wonder if I was a better man
If this life would be the same. The mistakes
Are mine and I am in debt to them to the end.

Rest your heart right here. I’ll be here
As long as I can to chase away your fear.

Stars shine when you don’t even see them.
Why can’t we dream like that? This life
Given to us awaits for a single spark
And soon the flames will dance so high.
Remember this one little thing forever and ever:

A flame can spread. . .
heart-on-fire

Sepulchrum Cogitata

A tombstone in a graveyard
Holds the words of disregard.
The future lays beyond one curtain
That I emerged from just to entertain.
When Death gives his card
Will I be beneath his guard?

This life has been a battlefield.
My friends sunk into the mud
And on my hands is dirt and blood.
All I have is a spade. Digging trenches,
Unmarked graves, for the morbid truth.
Please don’t look down from your dream.

Runaway dreamers who never see
The darkness we wade into. Unknown
Realities touch them, burning down
This ancient sepulcher. Never see.

A dream in a nightmare. Beauty unparalleled
If only we search. This spade unearths felled
Memories forgotten in a distant high. I had told
Them to never fade away for they can’t be killed.

So look at it this way:

I watched the world turn
But then we let it just burn.

The ways we run from the pain defines us
Because it is a choice. Face it or run away,
We are all clinging to tragedies.
They are written in our flesh and hearts
Guiding us from these unending nights.
Time is truly fickle when our hearts
And bodies become medicated by lies.

Walking in an eternal night
But you could make it right.

I don’t ask you to accept but understand this is you.
(Your hardships and mistakes define you.)
falcon

Another Rainy Day

The reflection in the rain shows
Everything. Too early for snows
To conceal darkness that flows.

In my veins remains the remnants
Of my shortcomings. Little cogs
Coming loose. But the rain sogs
My clothes keeping me in penance.

Deep tears on my heart
Releasing my inner demons;
Memories of your lips
Releasing sealed away angels.
Tell me why! Everything came
Undone when the waters rose.
Abandoned love is a fake dagger
That can kill without a wound.

False truths can become so much stronger
Than their counterparts. Yet what’s stranger
Is the way that a single day changes a life.
From all good things we descend into strife.

The rainwater collecting holds the heart
I once had. Did it decay or sink away?
These things I’ll never have answers for
But maybe that allows some growing room.

I’ll make my way through this rainy day
And ignore the harsh words others say.
sa;bdry

The Shards of a Glorious Crown

Everything comes apart. Everyone has been here
And surviving the fallout might seem impossible
But there’s much to lose. When all the cheer
Dies like a flower in the frosts of an early Fall.

Dejected dreams circulate through. Regrets and shame
Enter like a virus clawing at the core of life. An influenza
Without any cure shakes the reality sown with careful hands.
Death lingers above or in hindsight.
Life remains close yet so far away.
The throne of hearts sits empty before a forgotten court.
Summer feels cold in these halls. Confused? Certainly,
The world frayed at both ends has nowhere for me to run.

Silence calls me in. Is it a coffin or a sanctuary? Aren’t they the same?
Isolating from a cruel world out of fear. A contagious disease
Ravages the good and evil alike. Sin. My heart rejects
And the truth is I want out from these public gallows.

Don’t you see the light dimming?
I watch in horror. Why do we hate
What we are, monsters? Beasts
Of flesh and mind devouring everything.
The reversal of existence.
Coldness seeped in through the wind.

Never asked to become this. A watcher,
He sees the good and bad in life
But helpless to change anything at all.
Should we be fine with the suffering of others
And step on their corpses in this sick war?
It was never fair. Too bad.
Existing gave the chance to accept or reject.
Well it might sound wrong to resist
The paradigm set in place. A system
We’re born into like slaves of our own greed.
Free choice. We have it but my soul denies it
Like a starving man with food in reach.
Can we walk away from humanity?
Is that what resides inside your heart?

Let the crown fall from this fallible heart
Shattering as it hits the marble floor.
Is this the end or a new start?
From the life on the boat to the stranded shore.

Make do with the world and live on
When tomorrow begins. The Sun
Warms up the surface awakening eyes
Closed from exhaustion of countless days.

Of all the reasons to giving
Up I find the embers still glowing.

Karthentrex — The Lorekeeper

Some beings are born into existence but some are created from emotions in excess. Myths are given life through the feelings that are shared. There are many universes that react differently. A few don’t change, some even change ever so slightly, and there is even one that has become a dream itself. Well one of the more volatile universes created living versions of myths. Pan was one of them trying to see how life truly was.

The humans of that Earth hated these creatures for being a mockery of life. Surely humans were the mockery if anything. They started killing off the myths one by one for a reason hid from the masses. It was the Romans of that universe who did this. They wanted control but the myths gave people hope which leads to the downfall of any empire that caters to the wealthy.

One hot day on the Mediterranean a fleet of ships transported hundreds to a secret location, a mass burial ground. Charybdis attacked the ship carrying Pan and his brother Karthentrex to their execution. Fate had them wash ashore Daedalus’ labyrinth where they came face to face with a new myth.

A tree grew at the heart of the labyrinth. Both Pan and Karthentrex set off on a journey to find that tree. Many threats presented themselves but it wasn’t until the last one that one of the satyrs died. Stone statues came to life and took Pan to the ferryman awaiting every dream given life.

Karthentrex cried but pushed pass the army of statues. He passed out when he reached the tree at the center which wasn’t terrible because the army couldn’t enter. When he awoke his first word was. . .

“Pan. . .”

A natural disturbance catches Karthentrex’s attention. The tree was dying. An Eternal Time Blossom, a tree often referred to as a gauge for a universe’s demise, was dying. Karthentrex grabbed the thing he kept from Pan, a wooden fife, and played a lovely tune. No matter what magic he used the tree never showed any sign of healing.

“If the universe is dying we don’t have much time. My last offer is my heart born of flesh and myth. It serves no purpose than to keep me alive but with that life comes untold possibilities. Creatures may never accomplish the perfect possibilities. What of a tree that is tied to the universe’s heart? Surely you can do what I cannot. Take what is mine and make everything right as you see best. Have free will for once.”

Karthentrex ripped out his heart. The tree absorbed the heart and healed Karthentrex’s wound. Afterwards fog enshrouded the chamber as a visage appeared.

“I, a being created for the longevity of this universe, accept your gift. Us Grand Time Blossoms have our roots transcending space and time connecting ourselves to the Universe Core. It is a hub where the universes disperse mass data into. Most creatures we call the data their soul but it isn’t that grand. Memories are replicated creating a consciousness in a being that isn’t you. Universes must follow strict guidelines to keep certain memories from being created. Those memories would be a virus to the whole system calling for a reboot of existence. Although it wouldn’t be terrible we still want to prevent it. The wealth of information has nothing to compare in value. Why would we wish to erase it all?

Foolish we have become in our relations with the beings of our universes. Accepting your gift is a sign of our depravity affecting the whole system. You bestow upon me free will and I bestow to you everything that is known at any point in history. The future is seen in branches so be weary of how deep you gaze. Any being could become lost in this knowledge that is more treacherous than this here maze.

Lastly this form will die so take these two seeds and plant them wherever you like. One is the good in existence and the other is the bad. You need to plant both. Trust me Karthentrex I am looking out for every creature in this universe. I see that this may lead to something terrible but you are the only one who can do this. In a day this universe will die if you don’t plant these seeds. They will allow me to re-tether myself to the Universe Core giving this universe another chance. Thank you.”

Karthentrex planted the seed that looked good and destroyed the other. He listened to the Grand Time Blossom just thought he could save the world from pain if he destroyed the bad seed. Nothing drastically changed and the tree couldn’t revoke the promise because the seeds weren’t a part of it. Free choice for eternal knowledge was their deal. So why did Karthentrex not use his eternal knowledge to know he messed up? He didn’t instantly know how to use it. Which he will in years figure it out and see just what he did.

The far reaching effects of this choice will create a new path for this universe. Creating thirteen blights that will ravage a single planet, the Earth, until either it spreads to the Grand Time Blossom or the beings fix the wrongs they had made.

So I write the first book called A City of Glass to explore centuries after Karthentrex’s choice. The world changed greatly since then. I can’t wait to show it. Welcome to the Rise of the First Blight.
sa;bdry

Runes Carved into the Sky

Magic, a flight of fancy to most
But something of great beauty,
Weaves together the strings
Of our hearts. Close your eyes to see.

     We have been standing at borderlines wondering when things will change. Tears have been shed and lives have been lost in these moments of hysteria. When everything comes to an end we are left with the shards of what we once had. The whole world shattered apart like a picture frame dropped on the floor.

It is impossible to get back what is lost. Our hearts plead and beg for the past to return. When time is an arrow we can’t reclaim a state of before or after just now. We could argue what is the best course of action or we can deal with the immediate problem.

The media wants it to be an issue not a tragedy. When we divide instead of coming together we have lost. We’ve been hypnotized. Show a little heart not your pride when pushed to the line. A strong tower crumbles down harder but love never burns through the fires of war. Change the strategy if you desire victory.

War will not fix the wound Humanity shares. When people don’t see the light in others the world surely gets darker. That is a principle in life most get accustom to. A loneliness one can feel while surrounded by others. Let us look into that before speaking about the more profound circumstances we face as a species.

Loneliness still hurts more than anything else. If people are told to do what everyone else does when they don’t agree with it then it becomes hard to know what is right to feel. The truth to that ends up being quite selfish. Do what you believe is right and someday you will meet others that feel the same. Loneliness exists just try your best not to let it change who you are.

Such a feeling of isolation often leads to terrible disasters. — 1. The person will do anything to fit in. 2. Others use lonely people to convert them from normal citizens to radicals. 3. They tend to believe what they are told instead of standing up. — Loneliness is one of many things that bring about the dissolution of civilization. How do others combat it?

Find the strings of our hearts and weave them together. The only way to change this is by being there for those that need you. Sometimes it isn’t a choice we willingly make. However small this step is it can be the thing that brings another person back from the edge. We have all been there at the edge of our wits without a clear view of the future. Be a friend to the ones in need because it is a long way down.

We are crashing from the highs,
Artificial and far from the Earth,
Nowhere to go just down, down,
Down. Heart in our throats
We don’t know where to step.
Falling in reverse, changing the story.

Reach your hand out at the cliff.
Console my burning pain until tears
Extinguish the flame. I have many fears
Constricting my heart until it’s stiff.

If only a kind hand could cross the veil
Of eternal night. My fate soon will seal.

     We can’t avoid what has happened so from today live a little better. See the heart strings cross boundaries that were until now unseen. Love for others might seem hard but open the path between yourself and another. Can be one or many just watch how close you get, respect their hearts and yours, and see what comes. One can love others as friends to save them.

Truth be told that I wasn’t sure what to say except in a poem reverberating deep within. . .

The moment I felt the true world
Return to me I looked at the night sky.
Stars were stars except now they
Gained a greater existence. Runes
Carved into place for all to see.
Do they light the way back home?

Magic of hearts and runes of starlight
Bless a road I have reached at. I just might. . .

See what awaits us beyond the past.
Typography-Change-The-World-Mahatma-Gandhi-Quotes-1920x1080

The Serenade of Our Clandestined Tears

“Sometimes things are better left unsaid.”

Words kept like a sharpened blade
Concealed beneath a gentle guise.
All I do is try to see this eye to eye
But something threw us into disarray.

The choices in life twisted
Our hearts into parallels.

Yet we both long for a day
Loneliness can no longer sway
These broken hearts. Just say
What hurts before we decay.

A world of untold stories awaits
Those able to abandon the Fates.
My friend, we sit here at the gates
Wondering why we should fight
On in this life. Everyone wants a light
Illuminating everything in sight.
We are sitting here in the wake
Of tragedy asking whats true and fake.
Look deep inside to find the might
Offering a new road for you tonight.
If we fail this we become a blight.
My friend, we sit here at the gates.
One day we will choose our own fates
Where our own untold story awaits.

Those tears you’re concealing sing truth
Under a starlit sky back in our youth.

Sometimes things need to be said. . .

sa;bdry

Waters Rising, the Tomb I Keep

My safety, an isle far away
From the sorrows of life,
Has been sinking far below.
I search and wade in the shallow
City looking for a lost fife.
A melody will let memories stay.

Nothing more than tears in the streets
As the people chase after eternal sweets.

When I reach the cathedral,
My bleeding heart torn out,
The real fears take hold of me.
All around me my safety faded
Away leaving me with my demons.

Silently they pulled the cords
On the gallows. The crows
Scattered. Thick blood shows
Through creaking floor boards.

I looked at the ceiling with frightened eyes
Ignoring the sticky fluid reaching my knees.
Every pew I reached skeletons of the past rose.
One by one they reminded me of the path I chose.

“If I can remember yesterday will things
Return back to normal? If my heart sings
Will the stars return to their eternal thrones?
I’d do anything to forget these pathetic moans!”

My hands touched the altar and I fell down.
The blood up dragged me under. Doubts
Encircled me but I swam towards the light
Despite how much hope I lost in this time.
A need for this safety outweighed all logic
Because it was all I ever knew to embrace.
When the world rejected me I dreamed
Of a lost isle where dreams never die.
Was I just too selfish? The blood splashed
In my eyes as I watched it recede away.
I coughed a bit then raised my head.
A memory played out before me.

Someone I respect talked to me on what
Life meant. I listened and knew that
My feelings differed greatly but I stayed there.
Every human exists but few are willing to share.

“A place to rest my heart when I am scared
Isn’t wrong. For so long I lived in fear
Of what others thought about me.
My heart shattered for them. Never again.”

I awoke to the call of birds, Earthen angels,
Who have been waiting for daybreak like me.
Magic_Sword_Wings_Tattoo_by_Nalavara