Category: Poetry

A Sword Raised to Protect

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Resting on these laurels
As if they change something.
I enter from a flourishing Spring
Into a drought. Failing morals.

Sinful recant in the shade under a blistering star
That has been there long before any man. A scar
In the sky during this drought. Distance to walk is far
Between the shadows of trees. There will be a war
And I’ll be the only casualty today, this I swear.
When all I try to do is earn respect even by a hair,
Such a small amount, but I lack so much. A thick tar
Pours over me but to others I am the same from afar.

Chasing what comes undone
Because I still hear that tone.

Do you think I’ll never move from here?
How can it be that clear? My own heartstrings
Plucked until they were out of tune. I raise my voice
And they let me suffer for it. All I want is someone
Who has faith in me. Is that really it? In part maybe.
I want to prove to myself that I’m not in the wrong.
Do they prey on my weakness? Family and friends.
How can I trust when nothing goes right? From my sight
I go blind. The uncertainty deceives my heart and mind.
Lonely. A raised voice passes through the walls
Surrounding my true self. They never even notice that.
Saying how I feel would be like placing a powder keg
Within a burning chapel. No trust, bottled up feelings,
Judgment passes over, self loathing ensues; I slip away.
This event goes on repeat forcing me to feel defeat
Even when I return day after day. Is this my own insanity?

So many questions I’ll never be able to answer
And I know that. The truth has turned into a blur.

A final choice remains. What to do with this life of mine?
Can’t expect respect if I do nothing. I must do what I want
And prove who I am to myself. I’ll rise up to fight like a gallant
Knight who raises his sword to protect. In the end I’m just fine.
sa;bdry

I’m Fallen Not Broken

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

What is right and what is wrong?
I thought I could find it on a long
Journey through life. Am I strong
Enough to finally recite a song?

The song of who I am. Caught
Up in the words of yesterday
But I try going forward. Do others
See me falling back or rising up?
There is so much more. If only
They’d open their eyes and see me.

Screaming to lift this lonely rope
From my neck. I am here. They say
That respect is something you pay
A price for. I’m just trying to cope.

The real me wants some rest
But everyday I’m put to a test.

What if I surrender? What if I snap?
My heart beats so I face what I know,
But is that all there is? I’m so numb!

I want to dream again. All the pain
In this world I hate. If I were to say no
What would they even do? The rain
Falls if I win or lose. Say get ready, go;
I’ll be waiting here for a derailed train.

Every time I reached for a hand I fell
From an emotional cliff. I never drowned
So I return trying to right the past. Crowned
By my regrets, thorns, I can already tell
I’m never going back into the cold ocean.
They say I’m distant but that is my devotion
To all of the true hearts we can never sell.

I cared so much but they let me fall below.
So I vow for life that I’ll never be that shallow.
sa;bdry

The Ocean of Sin

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

I sat at a familiar round table
With my head in my hands. A fable
Repeated in my head as other patrons
Said hello to no reply. Gas stations,
Work, politics; please say nothing at all.
I’m running through life chasing my fall.

Am I just living in a dream?

The thoughts of others bury me underground
But I still hear them. Abandon all hope
Or learn differently? I want to hear no sound
For a little while. It’s really hard to cope.

Why did I come here?
Walking into the depths of fear.

Everywhere I run the fear appears
And I run away. The turning gears
Stretching me so thin. Years
Spent stuck in clockwork. My tears. . .

A dried up well in the desert.
I came here after the mirages
All faded away. Visages
Drift and in their eyes is hurt.

Too real and too tainted; dehydration
Of our hearts raised in dream desiccation.

I slam my hands down and get away.
Every second I spend lost
Gets erased from existence.
A reality more like a maelstrom
Slamming me forward through time.
Nowhere to go but down below
Onto the ocean floor. I breathe.
The pain tells me I’m alive.

Lungs collapsing, blood flowing;
I’m trying to enter the ring
For another fight. I saw no way
Else to defend what I truly love.
Every statue made out of clay
Couldn’t compare to her skin
Against my own. Did I fall for sin?

What else could I do? I’m too weak
To stand alone in this world. So I seek
the comfort in others. Of sin though, I reek.

drowning_by_pretty_angel-d10gc2m
“Sinking deeper into this life I barely know. . .”

pretty-angel.deviantart.com

 

 

The Fire We Tend, Love

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Softly my hand leads the way
Through the night. Whatever I say
Is enchanted by the moonlight. To pay
The price of stealing your breath away
Is to remain here and watch life decay.
And so I ask you to teach me a new way.

Walking between bullets and hearts.
Teach me to dance in the brightest darkness
And how your smile is the light of Heaven.
I’m unworthy but I’ll prevail just
To chase your light for eternity.

Every single day we make our kingdoms.
I’m so uncertain, the true fear,
But I continue despite my feelings.
And at night I stare at ceilings
To wonder why I’m here.
Do you feel the same despite the idioms?

Sometimes I wonder if I was a better man
If this life would be the same. The mistakes
Are mine and I am in debt to them to the end.

Rest your heart right here. I’ll be here
As long as I can to chase away your fear.

Stars shine when you don’t even see them.
Why can’t we dream like that? This life
Given to us awaits for a single spark
And soon the flames will dance so high.
Remember this one little thing forever and ever:

A flame can spread. . .
heart-on-fire

The Atrocity of Life

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

Every wish gave to the stars up above
Went into orbit. Satellites using gravity
To stay afloat beyond the clouds. Shove
Our ideals away and alter this disparity,

What is the possibility to rise up from the dirt?
Eyes open, heart beating, and still breathing
In the air. Every choice merging together
Into an abomination, the Atrocity of Life.
All the dice rolls cultivating a glorious seed
Meant to be planted firmly within the dirt.

Here I have been as the gardener of this lost land.
Listening, helping, caring; reaching out my hand.

A wish sent up above returned to my feet
From the force of gravity. Falling like a meteor
I awaited for it right here expecting no detour.
When will it be that we will finally meet?

The wish will never return but I remain
Here upon the Earth like a filthy stain.
Searching for what my heart can gain.

The Atrocity of Life is me. Touching the world
In my own sense of beauty. Every crystalline mirror
Shattered around me in the maze of heart and mind.
All the words you say pierce right through my flesh
When I am being honest. I wished for us to find
Common ground but the truth couldn’t be unwritten
From the scripture we drew upon as little kids.
From that day we knew there could be no returning.

I keep caring for a plot without a seed
Believing a tree might someday sprout.
Idealistically we betrayed what we wrought
Like saints who are sinners in need.

Lay to rest the darkness we hold onto for safety.
When we walk apart there will never be a remedy.
sa;bdry

Sepulchrum Cogitata

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

A tombstone in a graveyard
Holds the words of disregard.
The future lays beyond one curtain
That I emerged from just to entertain.
When Death gives his card
Will I be beneath his guard?

This life has been a battlefield.
My friends sunk into the mud
And on my hands is dirt and blood.
All I have is a spade. Digging trenches,
Unmarked graves, for the morbid truth.
Please don’t look down from your dream.

Runaway dreamers who never see
The darkness we wade into. Unknown
Realities touch them, burning down
This ancient sepulcher. Never see.

A dream in a nightmare. Beauty unparalleled
If only we search. This spade unearths felled
Memories forgotten in a distant high. I had told
Them to never fade away for they can’t be killed.

So look at it this way:

I watched the world turn
But then we let it just burn.

The ways we run from the pain defines us
Because it is a choice. Face it or run away,
We are all clinging to tragedies.
They are written in our flesh and hearts
Guiding us from these unending nights.
Time is truly fickle when our hearts
And bodies become medicated by lies.

Walking in an eternal night
But you could make it right.

I don’t ask you to accept but understand this is you.
(Your hardships and mistakes define you.)
falcon

Another Rainy Day

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

The reflection in the rain shows
Everything. Too early for snows
To conceal darkness that flows.

In my veins remains the remnants
Of my shortcomings. Little cogs
Coming loose. But the rain sogs
My clothes keeping me in penance.

Deep tears on my heart
Releasing my inner demons;
Memories of your lips
Releasing sealed away angels.
Tell me why! Everything came
Undone when the waters rose.
Abandoned love is a fake dagger
That can kill without a wound.

False truths can become so much stronger
Than their counterparts. Yet what’s stranger
Is the way that a single day changes a life.
From all good things we descend into strife.

The rainwater collecting holds the heart
I once had. Did it decay or sink away?
These things I’ll never have answers for
But maybe that allows some growing room.

I’ll make my way through this rainy day
And ignore the harsh words others say.
sa;bdry

These Roots Unchanged

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

In the search for more I find myself walking
Among unearthed roots and stones. Knowing
Within this a curse has become a blessing,
But what exactly am I supposed to do now?

Everything grows from firmly placed roots,
Taking that for purpose. A mask that shifts
Everyday until the real face is forgotten.
Who am I? A man, a knight, a king, a beggar;
All of them and none. Don’t you see that
Choices ignite the soul? Every breath
Renews what has been spent. So who are you?
A soul forging or experiences defining the lines
To make polygons, the shapes of your being.
The roots remain until a fire devours them.

Were they ever there if I just forget?
I’m running away and seeking a reset
Because nothing turned out right. I stand
Here wading among memories. Need a hand
Absent from my past to offer me a new path. One
Where the roots remain but I’m under a new Sun.

Reset the point of view and give new
Life to these deep roots. No church pew,
Priest’s words, dollar bills, chosen destiny;
Worldly desires will ever be enough for me!
A friend who sees it all but stays all the same.

What if that was all it took to change? Every person
Abandoning their own wants to give another reason.
sa;bdry

A Fallen Ornament

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

I hung from your branches in a forgotten room
Just beyond your dreaming eyes. Did you know
I waited for you to return? Caught in gloom
Remembering a deathly kiss where sins sow.
My king you abandoned me on a cold night.
But the dark seed of your love lives within
Me, your faithful follower. Your pompous light
Radiating from your blood is your only sin.

A pride harbored in your lustful genes? Bleed
Whoever you want while never paying heed
As you steal away their hope. A leader must lead.

Without hatred I accept the beast chained deep
In a reservoir of tainted blood within you.
It claws at everything you once cared for
Leaving nothing except blood in its wake.
Our screams resonating the same frequency.
If we let these fears consume, the vacancy
In the throne room is you and I. My king,
Does it even matter how this all will end?
I believed your every word as truth! You lied.
This is me walking away from your kingdom.

Understanding the harrowing of your heart
Puts me in an odd position. I can’t forget
Or forgive a man who lost himself. Set
The pawns in place to hide all the hurt.

If I can’t move on why would they?
Truth is in your heart not in what you say.

A story that we should just rewrite
But you lost sight. And so good bye.

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And so good bye. . . (It hurts to be this cold inside.)

Clairvoyant, Perpendicular Lines Inside Our Eyes

by Desnei, posted in Poetry

An ephemeral wind passes right on through many
And yet everything remains the same. Closed off.
Is that what we have become in time’s erosion?
It seems so long ago when smiles challenged the Sun
But we are the same people. Caught up in semantics
We defy the lessons upon the parchment above, the sky.

Caught in this cycle most avaricious. Building castles
In the sand with dying wishes for graves covered by thistles.
Why do we fight for dreams lost in high tide? Missiles
Held as threats to these cities of glass where nobody whistles.

When humans actually begin to feel and not assume
Could it be possible for our lives to finally resume?

If I look in your eyes what remains? The glow of stars
Or the ashes of pyres circling inside like a hurricane.
Did the atmosphere burn away your heart? The scars
On your skin show of years spent standing in the rain.
What if we saw the pain instead of fighting small wars?

Our sights are so perpendicular that a crash is inevitable
When the arrow of time flies right on by. There isn’t order
In what remains as we abandon our way to say hello. Tell me,
Are we supposed to say goodbye or can we change on the inside?
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